Yikes. This is not fun to read as a parent with a kid heading off to a pressure cooker school next year.
This is very sad. Thank you for sharing the article.
All those pictures of lives lost. 
I feel like I keep hearing more and more about students my age committing (or attempting) suicide.
As someone who has (and still does) struggled with depression, I always am deeply saddened by news of this. It’s so sad that so many kids with such bright futures feel so much despair or sadness that they cannot possibly bear to go on with their life. And to make matters worse, it can be hard to get mental services at many colleges. I can’t find a way to schedule mental health appointments with a counselor at my school without having to call ahead, and for many students that makes them incredibly uncomfortable. I’d rather submit an anonymous request online and not have to call over the phone to ask for one.
College can be a great experience for a lot of people, but it’s really easy to get trapped in a vicious cycle of loneliness and isolation. I hope anyone who struggles with these problems tries to seek help for them, or at least finds people that they can talk to about their mental health battles.
@notveryzen, if your student has struggled with anxiety or depression in the past, I strongly encourage you to find an off-campus therapist now, and get that relationship started. Even if your student won’t have a car or public transportation to get to counseling, some therapists will do Skype sessions. College mental health services are good for short-term things, but anxious kids in pressure-cooker schools need regular therapy.
@massmomm My kid has been rock solid his whole life. He actually does a lot better under pressure and seems to thrive on it in school and in athletic situations. The thing that worries me is that most of the kids in that article were probably the same.
And there were two suicides on Carnegie Mellon’s campus on the same day a few weeks ago.
@micmatt513. What do you think would help college kids in crisis? What would help you?
Mandatory suicide prevention seminars?
A “help/depression” app that hooks you up immediately with someone to talk to at your college?
A 24/7 place that is always open and manned that students can go to no questions asked.
How can you get kids to call suicide prevention lines?
What do you think?
@sax I don’t think an app is necessary, but here is what is needed in general:
-an easily accessible way to schedule an appointment with a counselor online or via one’s preferred method of communication (maybe a text message service where all it has is your phone number and that’s what they use to identify you?)
-personal sessions (if wanted) where you could just talk with someone who’s gone through a similar experience. It could be another student or it could be a professional. Sometimes I just want to talk to someone who gets my problem. I don’t want to hear from some counselor not to kill myself because things will get better. It’s not true in all circumstances and it comes off as pandering/patronizing. One of the best things to happen to me in terms of my depression was reading from someone who I know that attempted suicide that they regretted it as soon as they jumped, because it helped me get a glimpse of someone else’s perspective who had faced the same problems I did.
-maybe a 24/7 space where someone can go (that’s not a police department) if they feel like they’re at risk of committing suicide. I think a lot of times being alone makes someone’s problems worse, and just having someone there who can keep them from just running wild in their own thoughts can help.
I’m not suicidal, but for me depression has been a large part of the last 5-8 years of my life. My family situation has been pretty messed up, and I’ve gone through things that made me feel very isolated in my high school. Nothing makes me feel worse than when I talk to someone about my life and they make me feel “different” because of what I’ve gone through. It doesn’t even need to be that they view me negatively because of it. For example, one of my friends from high school said that it was amazing that I had gone through what I had and still did really well. He said that he didn’t understand how another one of our friends could have smaller issues and not be able to cope with them as well as I did. His comments made me extremely uncomfortable since the reason I don’t want to talk about my problems is since people view me as being fundamentally different from them. People who suffer from mental illnesses don’t necessarily need justification or rationalization or even someone to tell them how great they are for making it through their issues – a lot of us just want to be viewed as “normal” and not be judged based on our problems, but rather on our merits and who we are as people.
What helps me the most is just talking to people who don’t make comments like “Oh wow Matt, things will get better” or “I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been, but at least you’ve coped really well.” Most people say things to that effect, and they don’t help. People who are depressed just need someone to be receptive, even if all they can say is that they don’t understand what you’re going through but they appreciate that you’re opening up to them. It takes a lot for people who suffer from depression to be vocal about their issues and not feel embarrassed about them. A lot of counselors just try the basic approaches of telling people that they are special/unique, life will get better, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, etc. When you’re depressed, there’s nothing other than your depression. Time doesn’t matter, the future doesn’t matter, your goals and aspirations might as well not exist. Telling someone that eventually their life will get better is like telling someone that even though their appendicitis hurts really badly, they can never get it again.
The last thing is that I would like to state that a lot of us who are depressed seem like normal people. We can be funny, smart, athletic, creative, and we even laugh and smile. Sorry for the kind of rambly post.
Things that would help
- More education about depression and mental health issues for students and parents
- Better, faster, and more extensive access to Mental Health services (counselors and doctors)
- Parents who are more educated about mental health issues, stay connected to their student, and are supportive
Issues to consider
- Penn has 25,000 students so statistically, some suicides are likely to happen
- Some mental health issues tend to appear around age 20
- It appears that Penn’s numbers include three students whose suicide’s did not occur at Penn, during a semester: one was on winter break, one was on summer break, and one was on a leave of absence. That points out a couple of things. One is that parents should not assume that it is not only when your student is at school that they are at risk. They may be back home with you on a break when it happens. Secondly, it would be helpful if more schools would disclose this type of information defined more broadly as Penn has here.
Thank you for taking the time to answer the questions many of us parents and professionals have. Having your perspective is enormously helpful for people trying to help students in crisis.
For my first ten years out of grad school I was a suicide prevention and crisis intervention counselor for a large county outside of a major city.I am sure at the time I made some errors in trying to help people although I can say I was always genuinely trying to help.
At the time I was so busy trying to put out fires that there was really no time to reassess my effectiveness.
I think it wold be really helpful if colleges heard more about what kids really wanted. It is helpful to know what might work in today’s social media heavy environment.
Thank you so much for posting. Many people will read through this thread and have a better idea of what some students might need. I know I do.
I’m by no means an expert on depression, mental illness or suicide, but from my own perspectives an effective prevention has to start from early on, during childhood upbringing. We live in an extremely competitive and ambitious culture where parents often, consciously and subconsciously, pressure on the children’s mind that getting into the most prestigious colleges is “success” and anything less is “failure.” I’m surrounded by parents with such attitude, and I fear for their children’s future. I often wonder (and self-monitor) whether I’m one of such parents, too, and worry about the possibility of having MISSED something all along in spite of my good intentions. One thing that all parents, including myself, should reflect is that the key to raising healthy children is allowing them a well-rounded experience of being normal children wherein any experience of failure should be an inclusive, not exclusive, part of growing up. It’s the fear of failure – failing their parental and peer expectations – that first plants the seeds of self-worth inspection, depression and beyond to the point of no return. This sad article is another reminder for all of us for soul searching, beginning with myself.
Do we know if there are non-undergrads?
@texaspg I believe that 3 of the 10 were graduate students. Was that your question?
Well I would like to thank you for attempting to help the many adolescents and young adults who are struggling with mental illness of all forms. I honestly cannot imagine trying to talk people through those kinds of things, and I certainly hope you don’t feel guilty about any of the people you couldn’t save.
If you have any specific questions about my depression, I don’t mind answering them via PM. I think depression is something that you have to treat at the root of the problem and a lot of people just simply try to manage the symptoms, but that’s unfortunately how the medical system in America works most of the time.
And some students who have no parental pressure still put pressure on themselves. Perfectionism is tough. I can tell my son not to be so hard on himself, or even to take the easiest path, but ultimately, he makes his own decisions, and has to decide whether to let things roll off his back or not. We talk about these issues a lot; it’s a concern for me.
@micmatt513 I’m sorry if a counselor gave patronizing answers. That shouldn’t happen.
There is a crisis text line. Here is a good TED talk about it.
http://www.ted.com/talks/nancy_lublin_the_heartbreaking_text_that_inspired_a_crisis_help_line
@sbjdorlo “And some students who have no parental pressure still put pressure on themselves. Perfectionism is tough.”
This is true.
When you are at a top school with lots of students who had a 3.9 something gpa in high school, and suddenly the average is a 3.3 or 3.4, that adjustment is going to be difficult for some students. Additionally, 1/2 of the students are going to have an even lower gpa.
On top of that, many people complain that they give out too many A’s and that grades are too inflated. The lower the grades are pushed, the more pressure some students feel.
Yes. I wasn’t sure if there is pressure for those who are not undergrads.
And some people have a genetic predisposition to depression. And, some families don’t believe in therapy / counseling. Some of the “happiest” kids are secretly depressed. We need to talk to our kids about depression and therapy, just like we talk about safe sex. Don’t be ashamed. It’s ok to ask for help.
A big issue, though, is that the counseling centers at many universities are understaffed. Students wait for weeks for an appointment and that’s just too long! When you are in a desperate place, you can’t wait that long.