I have to admit that I was shocked at how much work it is to be short. My mother is short (5’2" but now even shorter). She only shopped a few times per year and always bought ‘short’ or ‘petite’ slacks or dresses.
I also never realized until shopping with a friend that she always had to have all her pants shortened, or that the racks were lower in the petite department.
I don’t understand the WHY.
WHY do people make these judgments? Is it just to be mean, petty, jealous, arrogant, or stupid? I don’t get it.
I’m 5"4 and I don’t feel tall. I have friends who are 4’11 or 5’ and they have heard EVERY comment. I don’t think it’s a “filter” issue; I believe it’s an underhanded, petty attempt to be disrespectful and mean.
The short comments gets old, but honestly - she makes comments about everyone’s physical characteristics all the time. So, it’s not just me. Over the last couple of days, I have gotten to the point where if she says someone is, “pretty,” I just say, “Being pretty is important.” Because, clearly it is to her.
While watching the local news tonight she said, “She is not a very attractive meteorologist.” It’s just comments like that all. the. time. As I have written earlier, I have dubbed it observational negativity.
We went out to dinner last night. Sat outside by the intracoastal. She complained about the singer/band. “He’s terrible.” “He’s off-key.” “I hope the guy singing at the party we are having in a couple of weeks isn’t this bad.” Dh finally said, “Mom - are you going to complain about him all night?” Then she proclaimed her fish taco the “messiest taco I have ever had.” She does not offer to pay any time we go out either when she visits us or when we visit her. Dh always picks up the tab. This was true when fil was living as well. I can count on one hand the number of times they have treated us in 30+ years. She is not poor. Last night she said (after dh’s credit card was handed over), “I could pay or at least contribute.” No. That is not how you do that. It’s very easy to see through those feeble offers. What one should do - IMO - is say (BEFORE heading out) , “Gosh, you have put me up and wined and dined me all week. I would love to treat you tonight.” It’s not that hard if you really want to treat someone.
She has also been complaining about the lack of color in the sunsets since she has been here. All week long. Still more tonight. Tonight’s was quite nice, but it still wasn’t good enough. Her FB post was captioned, “I’m not sure it was the perfect sunset, but it is the most color I have seen since I have been here.”
Anyway, she leaves tomorrow morning. I am cleaning after she leaves, and then dh and I are going out to trivia for the first time since March 10, 2020. On Wednesday I’m getting my hair cut for the first time since February 26, 2020. Both will be treats.
I have a friend who always says, “You’re never useless if you can serve as a bad example.” I really hope that I am not now and will not in the future become a chronically complaining person as I age. Yes, I realize I have been complaining about her complaining here all week! That irony does not escape me. 
Thank you ALL for “listening,” being supportive, and providing thoughtful and funny comments. Most appreciated!
Glad it’s almost over. It’s hard to be with that kind of constant negativity.
Plenty of people feel quite free to comment to people who are quite tall. You are not tall so would not have experienced it. I have 5 current close family members who range from 6’5" to 6’11." Believe you me, they have heard it all from complete strangers.
Not so much now that I’ve shrunk, but if I had a dollar for every time someone asked, “How’s the weather up there?”…well, you know.
Congratulations!
The visit is almost over and you’ve survived. Well done!
We did a zoom trivia night tonight with 7 teams . We came in second but still had lots of fun. Enjoy trivia tomorrow and good luck!
Re: the focus on appearance AND the tall/short comments - did she ever want to be a model? I’m wondering if this is some latent “measuring up” of everyone for a persona she wished to be but never achieved?
I also wonder if her “glass half empty” way of examining EVERYTHING is what her friends do to. It’s their way to talk. My mom can do this. I really don’t handle it well!
Enjoy trivia night and your new hairdo! Dare you to take a pic of it afterwards and caption it “for some reason I feel taller with my new hair cut!” 
You deserve a VERY large drink at trivia night, @hoggirl!
I agree with @jym626! Go for it!
I’ve actually gotten a little taller the last few years. It’s weird. Now I’m officially 5’-9". I even had them double check last time, and they insist it’s right.
“I hope I can remember all these things if I manage to make it to octogenarian status. I am trying to show as much grace as I can.” Yes! I think this to myself all the time, especially after my formerly kind and sweet great aunt got SO cranky in her 80s. I hope I’m nicer.
One of my sons is now married and I’m trying to be a good mother in law but this thread gets me wondering what my daughter in law might be thinking behind the scenes. I hope my son and his wife don’t end up dreading our visits, especially if we are lucky enough to have grandchildren down the line.
Lolol - prolly not going to caption any haircut pics with feeling taller.
So many funny people on these boards!
I don’t know about the modeling stuff. She IS a very attractive woman. Fil was a collegiate and short-time professional athlete. They were quite the striking couple in their youth.
I think the keys are not to stay too long and to jump in and help. I would hope ds would tell us if we ever are out of line as parents or in-laws.
In the interest of fairness and full disclosure I wanted to come back on here and inform y’all that my mil did an AWESOME job squeegeeing her shower glass. I went in to clean her bathroom, and there is not a spot on it. So, there is that! 
EDIT: We never ask ANYONE to squeegee, but there is one in the shower
As someone who has a love/hate relationship with their MIL, I appreciated your posts and good humor. I sometimes wonder how many of her annoying character traits I’ll adopt in my latter stages of life, just because I’ll be old and cranky myself. I know one thing, though, I won’t sit about and let my children wait on me as long as I am healthy enough to help. I hate that!
@Hoggirl , thank for the update. She’s gone. Did you do the “celebrate good times, come on” dance when you closed the door or walked back into your condo without her? Probably not in front of DH.
I’m curious as to her response when you say “pretty is important”.
I do worry some what any prospective DIL will think of me. Of course I’ll not do the things that drive me absolutely crazy. But what things will I do that I’m not aware of?
One thing my kids won’t have to worry about is me staying with them when I visit. I remember how hard that was on me, especially working FT and having kids. I really resented it after 3 days and that includes my own parents. Plus, I need my own space and time apart to rejuvenate. But I just know there will be things that drive a DIL crazy. I guess I’ll just have to be attune and pick up moods.
Enjoy the rest of your week…you deserve it!
I wonder how bothersome her comments would be if they were said by a sister or friend, would it just be peer to peer snark that we all can lower ourselves to enjoy or would it be offensive, too?
Older people do seem quite focused on appearance, though if they were stunning as younger people, it may truly be their identity?
I think if a peer were continually negative, it would be bothersome. I have a friend that is sort of like that, and because of it we will never be super close. It gets tiring to be around that and is noticeable.
I think there is a lot of hope in this area from younger generations.
When my kids started grade school, I noticed they never described their classmates by physical features. They never said “Oh, the fat girl” or even the girl with glasses. They’d actually go to great lengths to not use physical features but to use clothing (which was difficult, as they went to a school with uniforms!). Almost all descriptions were positive; “Amy has really cool shoes” or “Tom has a new backpack.”