My eldest son is going into his junior year and has mild Asperger’s syndrome. I’m curious to know if there are other aspies here, and what people think about disclosing the AS label during the application process. My son is extremely introverted, but he is also very bright and has a lot to offer a good school. I’d appreciate any comments or ideas on how to help him present himslef in the best possible light.
thank you!
<p>Hi, Rellielou
welcome to CC. You may also want to post in the Parent's forum if you don't get a nice string of replies here. Many of the technical people I know that are very successful within their realm are probably mild Asperger's folks. Very good at focusing at the project at hand to the exclusion of the rest of the world. I am not familiar with admissions and Asperger's - but wish you and your fine son the best.</p>
<p>My rising senior daughter is an aspie, very bright and introverted. We're grappling with the same issue of disclosure. Most advice I've seen on this issue recommends saving disclosure for your visit to the college disability office, where you can more freely discuss accommodations. Since AS is a low incidence disorder most people aren't familiar with it or the implications for success at college. If you go into details with an admissions officer they could easily get the wrong impression about your son. You could also enlist the assistance of your high school guidance counselor in his recommendation, to explain resource room or other IEP related services that might show up on the transcript. </p>
<p>We sent our daughter to a summer college workshop and didn't mention anything about AS. It took the director about two days to figure out there was something very different about her and to make the anticipated call to us. So, while our daughter does very well on familiar terrain, she comes across as autistic in a novel setting that includes her peers. We're seeking the ideal situation of academically appropriate with a supportive environment. It's a challenge.</p>
<p>Beltrami -- This may not apply to you, but I taught for a summer camp with a little girl with AS. We were notified beforehand. If we hadn't known, we would have had an impossible time dealing and interacting with her, as many of her behaviors would have simply appeared as "bratty" if we had not known she had AS. I think it's a good idea to notify those in charge so they don't respond in the wrong way when something is different.</p>
<p>Hi. Female, so "different" than males (if you know what I mean), but yes. I haven't even told friends (not like I have many), so telling colleges would be too much. I already get accommodations for a physical disability, so I feel no need to disclose for other reasons.</p>
<p>I might privately disclose to individual math professors about the dyscalculia, but other than that, I can't do it. I'm at a community college now and have a 3.93 GPA, but my math classes are going to kill it. I want to be able to explain the inevitable lower grades during my interviews, but...I don't know. I had suspected the Asperger's for years, but now that it's "official," I'm still adjusting to the idea of it.</p>
<p>What I worry the most about is the interview. That's going to kill me. I literally get panic attacks and sick to my stomach just thinking about the eye contact. Like most females, I'm generally better about concealing things than males -- I didn't even realize that I was concealing things until I was diagnosed -- but the eye contact gets me every time. Not to mention the stuttering, terrible jokes, fear that people are picking on me with everything they say, etc. Phone conversations are even worse, so I've been e-mailing admissions offices for everything, even though I know that's not good.</p>
<p>I'm doing informal visits before actually interviewing in order to test the waters. So far, I've held up okay. I never shake hands and I always forget to introduce myself, but otherwise, I've been able to converse a little with admissions officers without having a breakdown in the middle of the conversation. I'm kinda proud of myself.</p>
<p>I wish I could help you out some more. It's funny -- I'm very involved with disability advocacy, I have no problems talking about my physical disability, and I have so many friends on-line who have Asperger's, yet I can't come to terms with it myself. I think the confirmation that I really am as "weird" as I think is what hurts. (Sorry, rambling.)</p>
<p>It's a real dilemma... my son J is taking community college courses and on Dean's list, but he dreads the thought of having to speak to strangers (as in anyone from store clerks, to professors outside of class, college interviewers, etc.) He screwed himself out of being allowed to take cc courses back at 13 because he froze up in an interview and acted catatonic. He's ok once he's used to someone, but I worry about how he can possibly impress a college interviewer if he pulls his mute act. It seems like at some point we'll have to disclose the AS , but I don't know at what juncture. </p>
<p>He is homeschooled and has been since getting his formal diagnosis at 13. It was his neuropsych who recommended homeschooling, as J is so asynchronous: he felt it was the best option. I've been trying to convince J of the importance of forming relationships with mentors who can write personal recommendations, but this goes against his nature and is very hard for him. So far, he has two adults who've worked with him closely and are willing to write letters. J is a bit cocky about his ability to test well, he thinks this will be good enough to get him into a good school. </p>
<p>I'd love to say more, but I have to run. Please feel free to add more to this discussion- it's been keeping me up at night!</p>
<p>Rellielou</p>
<p>Maybe you personally can call the admissions office in advance to let them know about the Asperger's, but also remind them that he's mostly functional and has outstanding grades?</p>
<p>Also, I'm sure you already know this, but a lot of schools don't require interviews, and some actively discourage people from having them because they don't make much of a difference. I would check on each school's policy to find out if he would need to go through the hassle at all.</p>
<p>I personally am committed to interviewing at each school because I need to explain some things (4 year absence from school after graduating high school early is a big one), but like I said, I'm a bit better at concealing things than most people. I also have about a year to practice, so I'm working on it. Can he maybe practice his interviews with someone?</p>
<p>We don't have a guidance counselor as we homeschool, but I appreciate the idea anyway. Maybe we could tap into an advisor at the cc, but I'm not sure if they usually help with admissions to other schools. </p>
<p>Basically, we plan to have J continue taking cc courses, and to take a slew of tests such as SAT, SAT II, ACT, AP and CLEP to give some evidence of his learning. He needs to develop a solid working relationship with a couple more teachers or mentors, as his pickins are pretty slim when it comes to letters of reference. This is tough for J, as he is SO introverted and he will practically curl into a ball to avoid being noticed. He's our oldest child and this is all uncharted territory...the AS stuff just makes it a greater challenge. </p>
<p>I've tried to get J to log on here and participate in the conversation, but even in cyberspace, he's shy. He hardly even speaks to other players when he's online in the Star Wars universe! </p>
<p>thanks and good luck!</p>
<p>Actually, CC counselors love helping with transfers! Really, ask. You'll get lots of good help. I was homeschooled and am currently at a CC, so I know what it's like. You do need to do a lot of work on your own, but CC counselors can be great.</p>
<p>I'm also taking the SAT I and several SAT IIs, even though most schools I'm applying to don't require the SAT I and none that I know of require SAT IIs for transfers. I think it's a good idea, especially if he's good at testing. Of course, they might just look at it as being a product of the Asperger's, but hopefully not.</p>
<p>I tend to be very comfortable on-line, but that's about it. Anywhere else, no way. If he's interested, however, there's a very active Asperger's group on LiveJournal that he might want to check out. Even if he doesn't post or comment, he can learn a lot from others going through the same things.</p>
<p>Beginning-</p>
<p>I'm hesitant to make that sort of call, as I don't want to appear a pushy parent or have my son come off as one who needs his Mommy to do everything for him. It really stinks that there isn't an easy way to get through the message, "Here's a quirky kid, but he's really smart and will not be drinking til he pukes every night, he may join a sci-fi or gamers club, but will probably want to be left alone most of the time and he would love to attend a school where he can do this with a minimum of fuss." </p>
<p>RL
'</p>
<p>I would just call up a few admissions people and talk to them. If you do it now, they won't be quite so buried. If you are worried if about it 'counting', start with some schools that your son is less likely to apply to - because of geography, whatever.</p>