Any benefit/detriment to 9th grader visiting colleges?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi,</p>

<p>My 9th grade son is expressing an interest in colleges/his future, which is wonderful (much more motivated, school-wise, now too!). </p>

<p>We have some amazing colleges in our area--Ivy League, plus some exceptionally highly-ranked LACs. I wondered if there would be any downside to having him stop in for a visit at a few of them? I'm thinking anything that gets him 'hooked' into his future would be a good thing. It would be done in a (hopefully) low-key way. </p>

<p>Thanks for any thoughts!</p>

2

<p>If they are nearby and convenient, he could visit a few campuses to get a sense of what colleges are like, just walk around without the formal tour-- but he should not start to form preferences or " dream choices" now. Only after 10th grade could you start to have an idea of what might be realistic for him. But if he ends up with a first choice Ivy--always a longshot-- there's no harm in forming a preference for Harvard over Yale or vice versa, as long as he realizes that in all probability he will end up somewhere else. If it serves as a motivator to do well in high school, fine, but it should not becomes an obsession or fantasy that draws him away from focussing on enjoying high school life.</p>

3

<p>Go for it! It really helps when students, even 9th or 8th graders, see college campuses, take info tours, and hear about how their grades, extracurriculars and other activities will influence their options as high school seniors. </p>

<p>Seeing a campus up close also helps students really visualize themselves in the future attending a college somewhere. The future can seem very far off and abstract unless a student has actually taken a campus tour. This is true even if generations of one's family have gone to college.</p>

<p>You also can get an early read on the type of colleges that a student is attracted to (though keep in mind that their opinions may change as they mature).</p>

<p>We took my younger son -- kicking and screaming -- on a visit to Johns Hopkins the summer before he started 9th grade. Although he had to be virtually dragged there because he somehow feared that by visiting, he'd be locked into having to go to the first college that he saw, he participated very willingly in the info session.</p>

<p>He also realized that that definitely was not the college for him because he didn't like how the tour guide and even the random students whom we talked to described how competitive the campus atmosphere was. He realized that it was very important to him to find a college that was notable for having an environment in which students were very supportive of each other.</p>

<p>He's a senior now, and finding a supportive environment remains very high on his list of factors important as he chooses a college.</p>

<p>I also made a point of having S participate in summer and weekend programs on a variety of college campuses so he could compare and contrast locations, etc. He learned that he did not want an extremely small college nor did he want a sports-fantatic college of 40,000 students. To my surprise, after spending 3 weeks on a hilly campus, he also expressed an interest in avoiding a campus with lots of hills. This may seem trivial, but it does help narrow the field, which is enormous due to our country's thousands of colleges.</p>

<p>The weekend programs that we found were through Duke's TIP program. They are during the school year and are at a variety of college campuses ranging from Duke to colleges in Kansas, Texas and Florida. Check the TIP website because they only mail to people in the immediate area. If your son is interested, sign up early because those sessions fill up quickly. A student doesn't need to qualify for the Talent Search (TIP) summer programs in order to participate in the weekend programs.</p>

4

<p>We took our rising 8th grade son on some of our daughter's college visits. His attention span was definitely short, but he did get ideas of the future and how there is something to look forward to.</p>

<p>My only concern would be developing a strong attachment to a very selective school. We have experience with a dearly held dream (a dream of DD's since she was 5 years old) getting crushed literally at the last minute - it is not a pleasant thing, and actually affected her approach to college selection, she was not going to allow herself to go through that kind of disappointment again. Maybe he shouldn't start with the Ivies and the highly selective LACs, just go to the closest schools of different sizes, and make it clear that those were picked because of convenience, not desireablility?</p>

5

<p>We saw one college during Spring break of D's 9th grade. She was somewhat reluctant but it was a good toe in the water experience and she was much more interested the following year and already had something to compare to. If your S is downright interested, I say go for it.</p>

6

<p>We took younger d. along on the visit to Reed. She detested it so much, she vowed she'd never go to college if the rest of them were like it. (She called it "workaholics college".) She stayed over one night at my older d's place, and had great conversations with the housemates (though she'd never go there either.) If it doesn't have a Div. I gymnastics team, it's definitely fourth tier.</p>

7

<p>If your S initiated the conversation, then go for it! It's not too early to attend a college tour; he may want to be more selective about info sessions. At least he'll know more about what colleges offer in terms of academics, athletics, extracurriculars, residential life, etc., when it comes time to do some serious visiting.</p>

<p>When S was a sophomore, we encouraged him to visit a local university on a school holiday. In addition to signing up for the campus tour, we also made arrangements with his former wrestling coach to give him a tour of the athletic facilities (the coach also took him to lunch) and had him meet for about an hour with a faculty member and grad student in a department that interested him (I had met the faculty member previously).</p>

<p>Have fun!</p>

8

<p>Living near Boston we've managed to get on a bunch of campuses for lots of activities ... including big urban schools (BU) and small suburban ones (Wellesley) ... an interesting side benefit of being a sports fan.</p>

<p>In addition, our last couple vacations have been near a couple of my schools so we took 1-2 hour detours so I could bore the rest of my family while I checked out my old haunts ... and let my kids at least get some feel of different schools in different parts of the country.</p>

<p>I woudn't push it but I think some casual experience can only help.</p>

9

<p>I would suggest taking your S to a variety of schools to get a feel for college and prevent fixation on a dream school. He can attend one or two info sessions to get a sense of what colleges look for in terms of high school preparation, but he does not need to go to an info session at every single college he visits. He can take a look at the student center and eat in the cafeteria. But it's too early to sit in on classes or talk to profs.</p>

10

<p>I find this really frightening. College admissions is stressful enough already, and starting kids on the obsession as 8th and 9th graders is too much.</p>

<p>If you do go visit a college, I would go for an event - a play, speaker, athletic game, etc. to give your child a sense of what a college campus is, but dragging them to tours and information sessions when they have no clue about what college is, what they will want to study, or what they will be looking for in a university is asking too much of your child. You will just add even more pressure and freak them out.</p>

<p>I am most thankful for the fact that my parents let me do my college search and selection on my own (with their feedback, yes, but minimal)and that they did not pressure me to visit schools or investigate until at least my junior year.</p>

11

<p>Whartonalum - I think you misinterpret - the emphasis is on LOW-KEY - this is about fun, seeing what the greater world is like, visiting a friend or relative overnight as a "big kid", or going to a sporting event. My not-quite 13 year old was going for the chicks, snacks in the snack bar and the dorm rooms. During the big trip, he opted to sit on bench and watch the world go by while he read Dave Barry, during a couple of the tours. The message is "do well in school, and you can continue to learn in a place that is neat, and full of pretty girls (a real selling point for him ;))"</p>

12

<p>Son could always investigate if there are any summer enrichment or other programs on campus for current 9th graders. That doesn't hurt anyone!</p>

13

<p>Thanks for <em>all</em> the great input and suggestions! Son has already attended a summer program in engineering at a local college last summer. That's what actually gave me the idea of bringing him to other schools. The summer program provided a tour of the luxe dorms and facilities at this school--now son has mentioned being psyched to go there someday.</p>

<p>Just want him to explore (in a relaxed way) other options. Just <em>thinking</em> about the future is a good thing, though, I think! Son is not one to obsess about a particular 'dream school' etc etc. He's pretty well-balanced. Just glad he's getting hooked into the future!</p>

<p>I think the summer program idea is something we'll definitely explore again (TIP or Johns Hopkins). Got to run off and find those app. deadlines...! :-)</p>

<p>Thanks again!</p>

14

<p>We sent 8th grade D2 to stay overnight with her big sister in the dorms during D1's freshman year. Not as a formal College Visit, but to let her visit her sister, soak up a little of the college experience, hang out with the cool big college girls for a while. Of course she came back with a T-shirt and other stuff. It was fine.</p>

15

<p>I was just talking to D along these lines last night. She regrets the Bs she got as a freshman, because she did not yet see how it would affect her future choices. She started looking at college information, etc during the summer after her freshman year and then started attending college fairs and visiting a few colleges, so she became much more "future-focused" as a sophomore.</p>

16

<p>Also keep in mind that an adolescent changes opinions a lot in 2-3 years. The college choices and /or locations my S thought he might be interested in when he was in 9th and 10th grade never even made it to the final application list.</p>

17

<p>I meant to say "some" of the choices..</p>

18

<p>We took our 9th grade son on 2 visits in Wisconsin with our Senior Daughter as part of a family trip.</p>

<p>I think it helped to just make him aware of what a college campus is like. Since he isn't the most motivated student we are also hoping that he will realize that his grades start to count now and his options will be much more limited if he doesn't focus.</p>

19

<p>We would take our daughter on walking tours through various campuses as an eighth and ninth grader when on vacation or traveling for business. I think that it helped her begin to get a sense of what "type" of college might appeal to her. When visiting we snacked in student centers and visited bookstores (what is not to like about a college bookstore?). She did not go to information sessions or on formal tours at that age. When she was a junior and started going to the information sessions and on tours there was a smattering of very young students. In fact, at the Georgetown info session she ran into a ninth-grader from her school who was already college touring in a serious way. Her parents were a bit embarrassed at having been "caught" because college visiting in the fall of ninth grade was a rarity for students from even this high-performance high school. When the youngster started asking questions at the info session it was obvious that her parents asked her to be quiet and let the juniors and seniors be the active participants. We always assumed that they did that because we were there and that as a rule she participated actively when visiting schools.</p>

<p>The child just started at Harvard so her motivation (and talent) served her well - but I suspect that college searching as a 14 year old had little to do with it. I would hold off on the info sessions for a year.....especially during peak visiting times. The sessions are often crowded enough with students that need to make their decisions in the very near future. Just my opinion.</p>

20

<p>"When the youngster started asking questions at the info session it was obvious that her parents asked her to be quiet and let the juniors and seniors be the active participants. "</p>

<p>Wow! It's impressive that the kid at such a young age was so assertive and interested in college. I don't know why her parents would tell her to be quiet. She had every right to get her questions answered, and her parents had no reason to hide the fact that she cared about college and they were supporting her interests.</p>

<p>My experience has been that at info sessions, even at top colleges, often the students are passive while the parents ask questions. Many students -- even those who are normally assertive and are definitely interested in college -- are intimidated by being on a college campus (even true for those from college-educated families), and therefore act shy in the sessions and on the tours.</p>