<p>It’s been 15 whole years in california and i am nothing like my relatives. And they treat me differently in the sense that they watch my every move in hopes of pointing out any potential flaws or negative traits while they are lenient towards other children my age that reside in india. personally i find them all extremely hypocritical.</p>
<p>@true_mustang i understand what u r saying perfectly. this has been my experience as well. ultimately, this is also, as gary put it, a psychological reason. when u move away from ur home country it is natural that ur connections become weaker with time unless u make an effort to keep those connections strong. with technological advances it is relatively easier to do this now than say 20 or 30 yrs ago but still … my observation is that very few ppl go back to India after having lived in the US for about 10 yrs. </p>
<p>what typically happens is that ppl complete their formal studies (BS/MS/PhD) and want to stay on to gain some work experience. then they get a bride/groom from home. then they want to start a family, buy a house etc. in the meanwhile, parents back home get old or pass away, sibblings get married establish new bonds etc., differences appear more pronounced and the desire to go back diminishes.</p>
<p>i hope i have not offended anyone here with above statements. i know there r ppl who r very driven and passionate about India to whom this pattern doesn’t apply.</p>
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<p>true_mustang, again, i understand what u r saying. u can call this behaviour of relatives hypcritical but what i think happens is that they become somewhat protective. for someone of Indian origin, growing up in the US is stressful in this respect. (i know kids in India have different type of stress). support system in the US for kids of Indian origin is significantly weaker. when u have uncles, aunts, grandparents and other relatives close by u have a support system that is helpful. yeah, there r bal vihars, temples etc., or u get to if (boy) { wear ur shiny kurta/pajam} else {strut ur body with fancy costume and pretend that it’s Bharat Natyam etc.} but it is not the same. </p>
<p>i know i have gone way off topic. HONORLIONS, i didn’t think u would mind this random babbling since u conceded ur failure to steer this thread.</p>
<p>(thanks to aniruddh for inspiring me to exaggerate ;))</p>
<p>what ur trying to say is a little unclear to me. This is what i understood out of ur comment- what seems like hypocriticism is actually over-protection. That is not the case. I am refering to my own cousins (around the same age as me) treated with much more respect and dignity than i ever have all because i am raised in America and am therefore not connected to them. (I would like to note that my relatives have never attempted to create a connection with me so im not the one 2 blame)</p>
<p>^ do your relatives live in US or India?</p>
<p>my relatives in both places r ok and i have fun when i visit them. i think of them as pressure relievers - it is easier to talk to them than parents.</p>
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<p>This wasn’t so off topic.</p>
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<p>Though this I found unnecessary</p>
<p>Though Indian parents aren’t so different from their other oriental Asian counterparts. In the end, they’re probably prodding you to do better. As annoying as they get, Indian parents at least are willing to for the most part completely foot a huge college bill as part of their ‘duty’ (and we have to take care of them in their older age =D)</p>
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<p>i know :D</p>
<p><a href=“and%20we%20have%20to%20take%20care%20of%20them%20in%20their%20older%20age%20=D”>quote</a>
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<p>i don’t think Indian parents in US should expect this since they came here “abandoning” their parents in India.</p>
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<p>Lol ever watch one of those Western Union money transfer ads? There’s a reason why at the end there’s always old people picking up a mad stack of bills and thanking their son (though they look completely well off either way too lmao =P)</p>
<p>Nevertheless, whenever my parents (jokingly) remind me of my ‘duty’ as a son, I have dutifully volunteered to find them a decent retirement home =D</p>
<p>^^^ Haha…Honorlions, that’s what my parents want me to do. They want me to make money and make them happy and be “caring” for them. I agree with true-mustang and I have seen it with my own family. If I came from India for like the summer or so, they are like"wow, you have changed so much and are too American" espically to my sister. She has left India at 2 and can’t speak our language so it’s harder on her. Also as you come from U.S.A, they make it a big deal and it’s so “grand” or some meaning like that which I think is totally bogus. But I guess you can prove them wrong, well…I did. They thought I would have no morals or nothing like the “mahabarth,” but I have told them that I am not that Americanish. So it’s a typical mind, I guess.</p>
<p>Yeah my parents plan on returning to India in their retirement.</p>
<p>Though I consistently tell them to help the country out-
Engineer? Great install solar panels and a computer in a village and brighten up people’s lives.</p>
<p>Doctor? Open a health clinic, help Indian medical schools advance </p>
<p>Stuff like that (though if my parents were doctor$… man…)</p>
<p>I love the discussion that’s going on. </p>
<p>Well I was wondering if it was the same thing to regularly send money to our parents, take care of all their needs and visit them once a year… I don’t think we abandoned them by taking care of them from a distance…</p>
<p>aniruddh, i exaggerated a bit in my characterization. of course no one abandons their parents. money is not the only thing they need when they get older.</p>
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<p>*
…
Un mein dekhi hai dhanak toh, bolo rang kitne hain
Saath rang kehne ko, phir bhi sang kitne hain
Samjho sabse pehele toh, rang hote akele toh
Indranush banta hi nahin
Ek na ham ho paaye toh, anyaay se ladne ko
Hogi koyi janta hi nahin
Phir na kehna nirbal hai kyun haara hmm
aara taara
Ye taara woh taara har taara
Dekho jisse bhi lage pyaara
Ye sab saath mein jo hai raat mein
Toh jagmagaaya aasmaan saara
Jagmag taare, do taare, lo taare sau taare
Jagmag saare, har taara hai sharaara
*
…
Peace.</p>
<p>i just read about Manshuk Lal Raghavji Bhai Prajapati. He has developed some cool products.</p>
<p>He says “My success key is my parents blessings and my family support.”</p>
<p>Very interesting … [Mitti</a> Cool](<a href=“http://www.mitticool.in/aboutus.htm]Mitti”>http://www.mitticool.in/aboutus.htm)</p>
<p>i won’t come never ever since our country condition is only going to worsen in future offcouse our country is great and its a major economic point but we have a major issue alongwith us population fast increasing population and declining resources leading to corruption,crime rate spike,dishonesty,rude people there is no scientific devlopment in our country compared to USA since we have a lot of people living in it huge diversion of resource can’t be made into R&D since people in our country need and care for better roads not better space telescopes.they say our population is 1 billion do you think it’s accurate since when our goverment became capable of doing things right.all the population statistics are collected by inefficient and corrupt goverment official we don’t have a centralized system like US where everyone has social security number and counting population means push of a button whole different to the daunting population data collection method in our country going to door knock and ask how many people live here.most of our population like those who don’t posses ration card,homeless people remotr area population are left unaccounted for.</p>
<p>Why dont you try making a change?
I must agree that all indian politicians have a “agar hamara kaam banta toh maa chudaaye junta” kind of attitude but if you really want to see growth, prosperity and scientific advancement then why dont you stay back, make a positive change, become an inspiration to others, instead of becoming a victim of brain drain?
No, seriously. Quit complaining if youre not willing to do anything about it. Its very easy to sit at your desk and type that post out but India is a country with so many religions, cultures, languages etc and people live in relative peaceful coexistence with each other as compared to even america where all colored people are subject to racial hatred and discrimination.</p>
<p>^ “chudaaye” hahahah.</p>
<p>I came here as a 14 year old. One like I like is that in American you make your identity. India and Indians in general seem to be losing their identity. I also think that Indians in general are very insular about a lot of things. </p>
<p>Economically speaking it doesn’t make sense for me to work in India. As a future PhD in BME, what scope is there for me in India? A service based company?</p>
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<p>interesting statements, can you please elaborate?</p>
<p>why do u have this expectation that Indians who come to US have to live in a certain way?</p>
<p>what is one’s identity and how does one lose it?</p>
<p>insular about what?</p>
<p>I didn’t know there was an identity crisis going on in india. Please elaborate</p>
<p>^^I think he meant that most of the population doesn’t really care about the culture.
The really poor people sadly do not have an identity- forget ideas of a rich heritage.</p>
<p>I am definitely going to come back to India. There is so much left to do.</p>