<p>My daughter is currently a junior, just turned 16 in Nov, will be 17 at the time she begins college. She is performing well at a competetive HS - will probably graduate with a 3.8 UW in honors courses, holds leadership positions, will have GS gold and silver awards, interesting ECs in music performance. SATs will probably end up 1350 combined. We have no intention of directing her to Ivies or very top tier schools - we are aware these stats are more in the "normal" range for cc.</p>
<p>She is showing maturity in some areas, but not in others. Good decision maker, very intuitive, great social skills, not a great planner. Not terribly interested in the college planning process. Her current stated interest is music education, but that could change.</p>
<p>I am wondering if she would benefit from another year between hs and college. I am amazed at the number of kids in her grade who are a full year or year and a half older than she is, and the number of kids in the grade below her who are actually older than she is.</p>
<p>Any of you have children in this situation, and did you do anything creative that you felt really benefitted them developmentally and academically, without leaving them feeling left out of their peer group.</p>
<p>Age requirements for entering kindergarten differ from state to state. In some states kids born in November enter kindergarten only AFTER they turn 5. There your daughter is likely to be the youngest in her class. In other states (including New York) kids go to K in the calendar year when they turn 5. So your daughter will be like all other kids born in the fall. I don’t see any reason for waiting for a year before starting college.</p>
<p>If she is onboard with the idea, I would emphatically suggest adding a gap year. I was very much like your D (this was a long time ago). Also entered college at 17 – very on top of things, great grades, etc. Everyone was sure I would shine – I dropped out after 2 years due to many things. Maturity, burn out from high school and lack of goals were the main causes.</p>
<p>I would suggest spending a year abroad or taking a gap year and doing Americorps as possibilities. both willl really allow her to mature and grow, get a different perspective on the world and allow to bring something unique to the college experience.</p>
<p>Americorps will provide a stipend after her volunteer hours – which can help towards college. There are quite a few study abroad programs that are free or inexpensive, if cost is an issue. Check out Congress Bundestag and Rotary to start with, but there are others.</p>
<p>As far as not feeling left out of her peer group – she will have a new peer group when she gets to college. She doesn’t need to worry about “not fitting in”</p>
<p>If your daughter was 16 in November of her junior year, she’ll be 17 in November of her senior year and turn 18 in November of her college freshman year. I don’t see what the problem is with that. She won’t be “too young” at all. My S did not turn 18 until the end of his college freshman year.</p>
<p>I’m a 17 year old senior intruding in this lovely discussion. I will still be 17 entering college next year and will not turn 18 until December. I’m always the youngest in my grade, but it doesn’t make much of a difference. I joke with my friends how we all have the same amount of life experience so far, I just get to live longer :D. But seriously, if you think about it, your daughter is probably equally prepared (or lackthereof) for college as any of her friends. She grew up and went through everything her 18 year old peers have, just with one less year of physical being. That’s just the way I see it, and I know personally it would be strange for me not to go directly to college next year. If your daughter is like me, she probably feels that she is as ready as anyone else, and based on her grades she seems like a very good student who will not be overwhelmed by college.</p>
<p>However, if she actually wants to take a year off, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt But putting myself in her shoes, I just want to reiterate that it’s only her physical presence in the world that differentiates her from everyone else, not her years of school or experiences.</p>
<p>My daughter is in a similar situation and I will be interested to see what direction she takes. I was an October child and started college at 17 and think it worked out fine. My mother had actually suggested I could take a year out if I wanted (this was in the late 60s) and I thought she was trying to ruin my life–and I think I actually found going on to school more comfortable than the stretch a gap year would have meant. On the other hand, my son (who was 18 as a senior) chose to apply, be admitted, then defer and take a gap year and it was a wonderful outcome all around. So I will encourage my daughter to consider that–then see what she chooses. Her cousin is deferring a year to do a Rotary year abroad–so it is now an accepted family tradition. I think the most important thing is for it to be an idea they strongly endorse–not something they feel expected to do because they are perceived as “not ready” for college. My other observation is that many “maturity skills” come on-line (with intermittant system failures) during those final high school semesters. In my experience it is not unusual for a junior to be (or pretend) complete disinterest in the college hunt at this stage</p>
<p>I agree with Marite and don’t see any particular reason to delay college enrollment. Our D is a freshman in college and just turned 18. Many of her classmates are also precocious. There are often good reasons to delay grad school such as gaining professional experience but seldom compelling reasons to delay college enrollment. All of your D’s high school friends will be away for college and she will miss that social bond. We personally found that college was truly transformational for our D who came back a very different person for Thanksgiving. In a matter of a few months she has matured tremendously and increased her self-confidence.</p>
<p>My daughter is actually OLD for her grade but is interested in a year abroad gap program. I think if she does that she won’t want to live in a dorm with other freshmen the next year. That’s the only reservation I have.</p>
<p>The problem isn’t her age but her maturity level. Now, if the only issues are not being a good planner and not being interested in the college process, I see no reason for a gap year. Those aren’t particularly big issues, and they’re ones lots of older students have, too. It won’t necessarily change after a year off. </p>
<p>If she’s immature in other ways, particularly socially, is very dependent on you (and would have trouble living somewhat independently), or wants to take a gap year, then it’s certainly worth considering.</p>
<p>My D was a bit younger than yours when entering college. The age was no problem at all. There are quite a few who enter college at 17 so your D won’t be the only one. I wouldn’t worry about the age itself but consider the maturity level of the individual. From your description of your D though, she sounds like she’d have no problems at all. The ‘lack of interest in college planning’ at this point is quite common - she’s probably just more focused on her HS right now and just not looking ahead to college as much as you. If she’s maintaining a high GPA and managed her GS Gold award she must have a reasonable ability to plan.</p>
<p>From your description, I see no reason to not just go ahead to college right after HS - she’ll do fine.</p>
<p>Please understand that most juniors are not yet invested in the college admissions process. My d (who started college this year at 17) was quite happy to sit with me, tell me what she wanted and let me do the research (thanks, CC, for helping with that!). She was quite content to tell me where she wanted to visit and let me make the arrangements (and throw in one or two that I wanted her to see). She concentrated on test prep and taking the tests.</p>
<p>Then in senior year, she handled the application process, with me as “administrative support”, keeping track of deadlines. </p>
<p>Understand that for a lot of kids, the whole concept is just overwhelming. When they were in grade school, they knew which middle school they’d be going to (this is for public school kids, mostly). When they were in middle school, they knew which high school they’d be going to. For most of them, this is the first time in their lives that they’re facing this kind of uncertainty, and some respond just by not dealing with it.</p>
<p>But most eventually do take charge of it, go to college, and are happy.</p>
<p>If your d doesn’t take charge by senior year, then it may be appropriate to consider a gap year - if she’s not ready, she’s not ready. But I don’t think that being 17 has anything to do with it; I’d give the same advice to the parent of the 19 year old senior (there are several at d’s high school).</p>
<p>And by the way, my messy, disorganized high schooler has made a ton of friends, is doing very well academically, and keeps her dorm room so neat I can’t believe it. (Of course, when she comes home, the house looks like a tornado hit it - just like when she lived here!)</p>
<p>I see no reason to delay college unless she wants to.</p>
<p>She has been with a peer group where most of the kids were older than she is all along. To her, it’s normal. This is not the same as the situation of a high school student who decides to graduate a year early.</p>
<p>I was even younger than your daughter will be when I went to college. I didn’t turn 18 until March of my freshman year in college (I had skipped a grade early in elementary school). Worked out fine.</p>
<p>One practical detail: Assuming that your daughter goes to college on time, she and you will need to contact the college after she is admitted because she, unlike most entering students, will need your signed permission for various things – health care, field trips, travel with sports teams, etc. Colleges are prepared for this situation because every year some entering freshmen are 17. But it helps to take care of it before she arrives on campus. You don’t want her showing up at the campus health center with a medical problem and having to wait until the health center can contact you for permission before she can obtain the care she needs.</p>
<p>I entered college at 17 (am a freshman, turned 18 a week ago). It’s not really a problem, in my opinion. Unless you have another compelling reason to keep her out of college for a year (you think she’s too immature, whatever), I would not keep her out based solely on her age.</p>
<p>Agreed that it all depends on the kid. I personally probably would have gained from a gap year, with an October birthday, but in my day most gap years for men were spent in Viet Nam, so I did not have the choice. :)</p>
<p>These days we have flexibility, and since kids mature at different rates, it is a good thing. Some kids may be ready at 16 and others at 20!. So let the kid be the judge. I know one young woman who started HS a year early, so she’s still 20 as a senior, but did well enough as an undergrad to win a Rhodes this fall. That’s rare for a 20 year old, but obviously age did not handicap her.</p>
<p>Here’s a suggestion: Help her keep her options open. She and you don’t have any decisions to make now. Work on the choices, keep things moving for applications. Even if she gaps, it will be a heck of a lot easier to get apps done if she’s been through the process already.</p>
<p>To me, most kids go to college before then can benefit from it most. Many of my peers who are most successful went to college late because of the war.</p>
<p>What Hsmomstef says above is just right to me. Personally I would assess my child and choose a gap year program or experience that will sharpen any weaknesses that might hinder college success. In the OP case this may be organization.</p>
<p>If money is available there are many wonderful programs that would benefit any child before college. I beg my own son to defer his college acceptance and do a PG year at a private school. He needs focus and to sharpen writing skills to do much better in college.</p>
<p>The only caveat I for those thinking of doing a gap year is this: It may be much harder to get the great teacher recommendations, guidance counselor evaluations, etc if you take a gap year before you have applied to college. The teachers may have forgotten you somewhat, and will have moved onto a new class of seniors that require their attention. Out of sight, out of mind?That is one reason why many suggest you apply to colleges that allow matriculation to be deferred, chose which college you will attend, and THEN take a gap year. Or, be sure to have your teachers and GC write their letters of recommendation before you graduate, and put them away for when you will need them after your gap year.</p>
<p>To join the chorus, my D turned 18 this past October after she had been at college for 6 weeks. It’s been no problem at all, other than the fact that I had to sign more forms than I would have had she been 18 when she started!</p>
<p>Thank you everyone, excellent points. Esp. the advice about the deferral, and taking age out of the equation, and just looking at what she would really want and benefit from.</p>
<p>I love the poster who mentions the “intermittant system failures”. That phrase describes my daughter quite well. Pulled out the hard boiled, colored Easter eggs once when she was about to make an omelet. Gotta wonder.</p>
<p>As read some of your feedback, I think I am coloring my view point with some personal experience and some anecdotal evidence from friends and family. Both my husband and I were young heading into college - I’ve always second guessed our experiences with going away at 17. My own father (a November baby) also took an unintentional gap year by accidentally “forgetting” the last page on the Naval Academy entrance exam. Swears it was one of the best things that ever happened to him, didn’t let the failure get to him, reapplied, got in, excelled, and had a wonderful career and credits his Academy experience as being “life changing”.</p>
<p>This is my first child, and I have no experience parenting a teenager!</p>
<p>Well forget seventeen i’ll actually be 16 when I start college in the fall and I feel and know that I ready for it. I started school at 2 so I’ve been attending school for most of my life. I do fit in well with my peers as most if not all of them dont realize that I’m 15 (will be 16 in feb) unless I tell them. I hate being judged as immature because of my age so I most time I leave that out of conversations. Most people think that I am 17 when they meet me becasue of my level of maturity.. anyway I dont believe that your daughter will have any trouble. Its all about maturity not age.</p>
<p>There is usually a big difference between the maturity level of a junior and that of a senior at the end of high school. I would be cautious about immediately assuming that your daughter won’t be ready – instead, I would give her opportunities to gain the maturity and confidence you think she still needs over the next year. Give her some more responsibilty (slowly perhaps), let her make some mistakes and watch how she learns from them. Maybe consider sending her to a college summer program this year (a good choice if you want a short-term one is Earlham College’s Explore A College summer program which is only two weeks and very well supervised). Let her take control of the process of applying to college and watch how she handles it - don’t jump in and do it for her. You might also insist that she include a few colleges closer to home.</p>
<p>If, at this time next year, you still feel she’s not ready, then she can defer going to college for a year. Just keep in mind that a certain amount of maturity is required for many gap year options as well.</p>
<p>By the way, both of my kids started/will start college at age 17. Like you, I worried a bit about my daughter who was still very reliant on my husband and I, and we did (briefly) consider a gap year for her. Although she made some mistakes along the way, she has really matured and taken charge in college.</p>
But putting myself in her shoes, I just want to reiterate that it’s only her physical presence in the world that differentiates her from everyone else, not her years of school or experiences.</p>