My D22 on track to graduate at 16. She is currently a junior at public magnet school. She is going to college (unless decides on gap year) at a young age of 16.5 years old. She is two grades skipped (elementary and middle school). Doing good academically (we did our best to place her academically) and good socially (as one might expect for a kid her type). While I was not overly concerned with her going off to college at this age (it was pretty common in my country), reading all the old threads here at CC about young kiddos off to college at 16 and earlier, made me slightly suspicious I am living in denial (not really, but still…). So wanted to start a thread for all parents who have kiddos who are young and going to college in the future, currently attending or graduated college already. Let’s share good news, bad news and support each other. I don’t know anyone personally who had a kid in US going to college at 16 so support group would be awesome. I am looking to connect with parents and listen to stories, advise and share battle scars 
I am looking forward to meeting you and hear about your kids!!
I know a couple of these kids (a few in my family but not my own children).
Academically- it was the best option for these families at the time without completely disrupting the lives of everyone else. The kids in college all ended up fine eventually. But I don’t know that anyone would do it again… at a minimum, the kids would have done gap years (or just stayed home and worked, did volunteer work) to get that maturity level up a bit.
It is hard to overstate how “on your own” college kids are in the US, even at “nurturing” colleges. So maturity- social, sexual, even just saying “no thank you” if you don’t want to drink in your own dorm room- really important. Her roommate is clinically depressed- would your D recognize the signs and be able to reach out to the right people to intervene? Her roommate is the victim of a sexual assault- could your kid manage that? Can your kid advocate for herself with deans, professors, RA’s, a roommate or two? Does she make her own doctors, dentist, eye doctor appointments and can get herself there and back, ask appropriate questions? How savvy is she about personal finance?
No question she can handle the coursework- it’s everything else that is such a shock to the system at 16 (according to my relatives who have done it).
Can she live at home and commute somewhere appropriate??? Even 17 going on 18- so different from 16.
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@blossom I guess, I’ve never equated age and maturity, at least not in a sense 16.5 vs 18 years old. We all know stories of kids going to college at 18 and going wild or not handling peer and environmental pressure. When dealing with any kid going to college it’s a gamble. We are trying to minimize our risks by teaching kids life skills to the extent we can and hope for the best.
My kid is extremely independent and cannot wait to get away from me (or I am just not very good of a parent 
), so there will be no stay at home and commute. Gap year is really questionable unless she finds something really good in terms of employment in her chosen field (so far cybersecurity). We are waiting to see our options to where she gets accepted to college before she have to make a decision.
We are lucky enough (given our situation) to have her live a full life of a teenager who regularly walks the busy streets by herself and not drive school/home route and never get out, volunteer and teach kids/adults in a local center without us present since she was 12, travels often internationally (with us) and had a chance to stay away from us in long summer camps to realize she can do much better without us. Sure, she is still a crazy teenager, who has much to learn, but we are getting there in terms of life skills. The rest, as I said, is a gamble
My daughter went to school at 17. There were some forms she couldn’t sign, but it wasn’t that big of a problem. She was on an athletic team and that provided another group of adult eyes on her (coach, asst coach, trainers). She lived in a suite dorm with others who were on the younger side of college freshman.
I’d make sure the living situation is right. Many college freshmen are 19 and that’s a big difference from 16, and the 19 year old might resent having a ‘little kid’ as a roommate.
Going into cyber security may present a problem. Some government internships require the applicant to be 18, and even government contractors have to follow that rule.
Mine graduated at 16, but turned 17 a week or two later. In a typical year, I think it would have mattered less, but this year:
- She has a 8.5x11" sheet of paper as her health insurance "card," because the school insurance doesn't issue physical cards and you have to be 18 to use the app. If she were on-campus, she'd be getting health care through student health, which would already have her policy info.
- Her school is 100% remote, and that has created logistical issues that a legal minor can't resolve without a lie of omission (17yos technically aren't allowed to use Uber), or without a parent's presence (some state laws require at least one person in a hotel room to be 18+), or without something in between. Not an issue if your kid wants to live at home, but mine would have been happier moving out a year earlier and another year at home would have made everyone miserable.
Non-government employers also need computer security. In any case, if she studies computer science, there is a wide range of suitable job categories in the field, of which computer security is just one type.
@twoinanddone we looked up a few internships with NSA and looks like you have to be 16. So she is considering applying for the summer internship after graduation, but who knows what she will want to do closer to that time and what situation might be with COVID. Good point on living arrangements. We will be definitely very careful and explore options with the roommates assigned. Or even single room, if possible.
@ucbalumnus thank you for your note. While she is pretty set on cyber and has a list of school with this specific program, she also wants to have an option to get second degree or minor (?) in aeronautical engineering, so she is definitely looking into all types of work arrangements as well (NASA would be awesome for one, if she works hard for it ??).
@allyphoe Interesting for insurance coverage. I thought she can stay on our insurance until she is graduating from college. I need to look at that. I am also hoping we will have vaccine before she goes to college so that she gets to stay on campus. She will not be happy to stay with us any longer that she has to 
Just saying the jobs and internships may be limited until she turns 18. There was at least one scholarship my daughter couldn’t apply for because she was 17.
She’d also need to be careful in her personal life. In several states it is illegal for a 19 or 20 year old to date a 16 year old. If a 19 year old gave the 16 year old a beer, he/she could be arrested. It’s a hard place to put another student in.
When my daughter was 16 and a senior in high school, she couldn’t go to R rated movies with her friends. @allyphoe listed some other limitations (hotel rentals, car rental, Uber). My daughter needed to renew a passport and was just old enough to do that without my signature as she’d turned 18. Before she turned 18 she could get birth control but not a flu shot without my approval.
There are issues. They aren’t insurmountable, but they are there. I think the roommate issue is more problematic as if they don’t accept a 16 year old, there isn’t much that can be done. The best dorm situation takes some planning.
We have one local family that sent their D to University of Iowa after her sophomore year of HS through this program:
https://belinblank.education.uiowa.edu/students/academy/
I think it provides more support to these younger students, and houses them together.
Our family has a similar graduation situation (due to time of year at birth, plus skipping a year of school). Academically strong (so far - every year is a gift, not a guarantee), good social development (particularly the last 12 months), finally physically almost average size (after being small in every sense for years).
There’s a lot to consider for students who, for academic reasons, are early to graduate. In our case, it’s a flexible school environment that doesn’t offer the mentoring or ECs that GT students would thrive under. Supplementing this is exhausting for our family.
FWIT, I skipped my final year of high school to go to a rigorous/respected degree program, and thrived. Best thing for me. But I was older than the kids in question.
I am usually rubbed a wrong way when I hear that it is my daughter’s job to consider responsibility of other people. I am going to be very clear in my expectations of her to present her age to potential dates and thanks for pointing it out, good note! However, it is on the other person not to engage in underaged drinking or offering substance to another person (minor or not).
@bjscheel I wish we had an option like this - our daughter would love it. But we don’t have institution that offers this in our neck of the woods. I also wish we had more GT programs so that we don’t have to make difficult decisions to send out kiddo early out of the nest and hope for the best. So lots of negative feelings that we had to go through over the course of our D schooling. we just have to try and stay positive with the cards we were dealt with.
Have you found a solution/have a plan on what you guys are doing with university situation?
We have a close family friend who sent their 16 1/2 year old to the early college program at Clarkson U. She had maxed out classes in HS and this was a way to get her challenged and to college but with more of a controlled setting. The early college students are all housed together and while technically freshmen, had more oversight by staff. It worked out really well for this family.
It sounds like the OP is set, and this certainly isn’t right for everyone, but you could consider a PG year at a boarding school. The rigorous ones are like college, but with hand holding. There is the matter of tuition to be considered as well, of course.
Does your state offer dual enrollment? There are a lot more courses being offered online now and she could be academically challenged with peers from home (or some other safe place) for a year while maintaining her ability to apply for scholarships as an incoming freshman.
Mine could have stayed on our insurance without issue. The school’s insurance had much better coverage for a minimal additional cost.
@twoinanddone
There are zero states in which it is illegal for a 20 (or even 60) year old to date a 16yo. There are states in which a 16yo isn’t legally able to consent to sex (with anyone or with people above a certain age or with people outside of a certain age difference), but there are also states in which a 16yo can consent to sex with anyone. College isn’t entirely different than high school in that respect, though - you might have 13yos in class with 19yos. And no one implies the parents of rising 9th graders should keep be concerned about sending their kids to high school lest they be the reason someone was charged with statutory rape.
Regarding drinking, the 19yo could also be arrested for giving a beer to another 19yo - or for possessing it themselves.
I think the key mentioned above is maturity vs. age. Things have surely changed, but when I started undergrad there were several of us “youngsters” and there was a broad spectrum of readiness for college.
Being fairly tall/physically mature and having helped my single mom “raise” my younger siblings, I felt more prepared than some of the older kids. Unfortunately, I also knew a couple who clearly weren’t ready and it turned out poorly.
Fwiw, my D is currently a Senior and still on our insurance, no problems. I think health insurance can continue until 26. I assume she’ll need her own auto policy if she moves out at graduation.
We do have dual enrollment in the schools that I would not necessarily call rigorous or better than current school situation.
@cinnamon1212 you are correct. we’ve already decided and our daughter feels strongly about remaining with her high school cohort she started with and will graduate with them.
I guess, I was always curious why would people look into finding a way of delaying progression of young students for the sake of age (at any age for that matter). Personally, I found it counterproductive to development of character and person’s knowledge. If I am bored to tears in my current job and underpaid, I would not look for another job on the side, but find a different job with more challenging environment and more money. So since we had to find a more challenging environment for our kid by moving her up two grades (why we did not have a better option is a whole different discussion if anyone interested in our story), so now we have to continue a natural progression and keep it semi-normal to the extent we can.
Please don’t take it as me balking at suggestions - this thread is for sharing experiences, thought and advises for anyone interested. Just me personally not looking for any private/public accommodations to keep her with age peers. This ship is sailed for us couple years ago but maybe good for any other parents out there.