Our son is entering his junior year, and we live on the East Coast and he goes to college in Colorado, about 1,800 miles away. We’ve never drivenm always flown Southwest. Getting two free checked bags with three people = six free checked bags, plus carry-ons. We’ve always flown when visiting
He loves his university, we parents love his university and enjoy traveling there for long weekends.
I like road trips a lot. I’ve done several 1500-2000 mile roadies to move stuff or deliver a car to the campus destination. But only one way and then fly back home. A one-way rental on a minvan (where the seats fold flat into the floor) is my vehicle of choice for this purpose. Two people in the car is better than three.
+1 on Southwest as the official airline of college. Two free 49.9 pound duffle bags per ticket makes such a huge difference dealing with a far away campus location. My dad had big time flying anxiety, which he treated successfully with valium washed down with a scotch or two. YMMV.
OP - sounds like your biggest problem is that your DH is encouraging the road trip due to his flying anxiety. I would gently steer him towards flying, with meds if needed. I do love road trips but think that 4-7 days in a car with an 18ish year old who may have pre-college jitters might be a bit stressful. Our younger daughter went to school on the east coast from CA and I don’t think I would have ever let her go alone that first time. She had already visited as a guest of the school by herself. However, that first move-in is a big deal and I wouldn’t have missed it. It was easier just to transport her personal possessions with us on the plane and then buy or pick-up everything else at the destination. Everything that goes eventually has to come back so less is better. Move in can be stressful and I just think flying would make it less so for your daughter even if it might be more so for your husband. I sympathize with him - I used to hate flying and did so rarely. Since our kids have moved all over the place, I have had to fly frequently and it doesn’t bother me a bit anymore. Good luck!
Maybe consider flying there and then renting a car. If you stay for a couple of days you can take her shopping for the bigger stuff. The drive back can a sightseeing vacation.
Our DD’12 and DS’14 each went across the country to college. Rather than drive across the country, each flew with one parent, travelled pretty light and hit the local Bed, Bath & Beyond and Target pretty hard a day or two before moving in.
One way car rentals can be very pricey at that time of the year. They are costly anyway. We looked into that for our 1000 mile trip and it was WAYYYYY cheaper…like by half the amount…to rent a vehicle round trip. But it was a LONG drive and if we hadn’t been moving furniture and the like, we would have flown.
I like the idea of a cross-country drive for college drop off. Friends of ours have done it a few times to the Midwest.
If your daughter hasn’t been, it is a definite experience. Worst case, she finds out she doesn’t like long car trips.
I have been across I-90 coast-to-coast a few times, taking anywhere from 3 days to 6 weeks, usually with a tent and a Coleman stove. To make it enjoyable, load up on books-on-tape and try to limit car time (we use 350 or so miles as our max).
I also have done the I-80 and I-70 routes if she ends up farther south. Except for Nebraska, you can always find something interesting each day. I think we still have one of those collapsible, soft-sided roof boxes, good if you have a sedan you would drive. A minivan or SUV would be plenty big without.
This is what car’s are made for - driving. The trip wouldn’t be brutal on the car and it would actually be less wear and tear than the equivalent miles put on it driving around town.
I included Nebraska on a vacation…and ‘liked’ it. Western Nebraska in particular has a number of interesting sights to see including actual wagon wheel ruts on the Oregon trail, Scott’s Bluff, Chimney Rock (with graffiti from Oregon Trail emigrants), Fort Robinson, Fossil Beds, etc. These aren’t all on the side of a freeway but they’re all interesting attractions.
I’ve done multiple coast to coast driving trips including a drop off at college trip. I enjoyed it, am glad we did it, would do it again, but one needs to be realistic about the costs involved as well as the long driving days. I always do all the driving and can drive for very long distances without a problem so that aspect was no issue for me but some drivers start nodding off after a couple of hours of driving and they wouldn’t be able to ‘safely’ do the drive. A coast to coast trip is typically 4-5 motel nights ‘each way’ which adds up in cost unless one either stays with relatives/friends along the way, camps along the way, or switches off driving and goes all night but that’s not a safe or fun thing to do. It’s better to add a couple of nights each way to be sure to have some enjoyable stops so it’s not strictly driving the whole time and this adds to the cost but since it’s enjoyable it can be considered ‘vacation’ and not count. Gas isn’t cheap either but one s/b able to calculate that beforehand - Google maps is your friend on this as far as giving a good idea of the miles the trip will take.
People also need to be realistic and practical on what’s actually needed for college move-in. It shouldn’t be a huge amount of stuff so the OP’s D needs to perhaps not be too thrilled about being able to take everything including the kitchen sink. After there are a few people in the vehicle along with each person’s luggage, there’s a limited amount of space available for the extra college stuff. It’s best to get a good sense of what’ll actually fit in the vehicle beforehand and people need to remember that 8-10 hours/day in the car isn’t a time they want to be crammed next to stuff - they need to be comfortable, Note - a rooftop cargo box or cargo bag can add some handy room for a move like this.
If the H and D are up for it and if the OP is up for it I say ‘go for it’ but be aware of the costs and the time spent going there and back.
I hit a patch of flying anxiety years ago (when I first had kids…more to live for I suppose was part of it, prior to that is was that young attitude of “whatevs”). I got a prescription for Lorazapam - a super small dose (like .5 mg where I could take one to four if needed) and I did use it on one flight, took it about 30 min before boarding with a People magaze in hand (mindless focus) and headphones for further distraction. Read and maybe dozed a little, but even if you do sleep for just a short time, you wake up fine, no tired after affects, at least for me. Just relaxed me enough to make it fine. Only needed it that one time. Carried the bottle with me on future flights but never needed it again. Knowing I had it with me was enough to counter any anxiety/potential panic attack.
Just suggesting because it might be nice for H to put this behind him so he isn’t worried about having to get on a plane should there be an emergency or even something special he wouldn’t want to miss. Might be a good time to try getting over that hump.
I have good friends who did this–drove from the Boston suburbs to Claremont, CA. They only did it once (taking their kid out to CA for her first semester); they had a great time and enjoyed their trip. If you’ve got the time and like the idea of road trips–go for it. H and I recently did a 800 mile road trip. We spent time together chatting about things that we don’t normally discuss, we listened to books on tape and weird radio stations, read out loud to one another. We had fun. I wouldn’t do it routinely, but doing it once in a kid’s college career (if you want to do so) could be a positive and memorable experience.
To each his own! I’d rather get there quickly and invest the time getting to know the destination itself (i.e., the college and the area surrounding it) than on a 4-5 day (or more) road trip each way. And that’s a LOOOONG trip back with that one person (sniff!) missing…
If the only reason you are considering driving is because of your husband’s fear of flying, I would agree with thumper here:
In addition to a mild anti-anxiety drug, he can look into finding a therapist that specializes in phobias. Otherwise, this issue will come up again and again, assuming he will go to the campus several times over the next few years, and the entire family is working around his limitation. Seems like a child in college across the country would be a great motivator for him to deal with his phobia with a professional.
For what it’s worth, driving in a car is statistically more dangerous than flying a commercial airline.
Before I met him, H had no trouble flying. Then on a trip home from the east coast, while over the Rocky Mountains, his plan hit some pretty bad turbulence. People were injured, though he was not. He has hated flying ever since. He DOES, but he hates it. So we were just tossing around the idea of driving over. It’s not that he WON’T fly, we have gone on yearly vacations, but the whole process unnerves him from take off to landing.
Whether or not we fly, I will suggest he look into medication for the trips in the future.
Driving through the Rocky Mountains isn’t exactly a cakewalk!
I agree with Prospect1. I’d rather get where we’re going to spend more time seeing the area of the college, especially with an incoming freshman. Get there early, stay a day or two after move-in, see what’s around the college, drive 1-2 hours outside of the town and sightsee.
Road Trip!!! Seriously, it will be a wonderful bonding experience.
We are a road tripping family and we have driven all over the US, so yes, we did drive our son from Colorado to North Carolina last summer and we took some time to enjoy the trip back. It was great. The only issue we had is that our son was super antsy to get to college and he had a hard time enjoying the trip out. His mind was on other things.
Planning is going to be your best friend. Tripadvisor has a whole separate road trip forum that will help. Feel free to PM me because I can also help you. I’ve driven to California and Seattle numerous times and I’ve been all over the Midwest and good chunk of the South.
There is so much to do and see. The fly-over travel snobs on either coast don’t know what they are missing. Heck! I was just driving through rural Nebraska yesterday (on the way back from the northern part of Minnesota) and I got to see Carhenge: a replica of Stonehenge made of vintage cars. God Bless America!
Anyway… it is 4 easy days of driving. Do it!
All that extra stuff that OP’s DD wants to haul by car, will have to come out of the room nxt May/June.
Less is more.
^^^ Absolutely.
DD should be working through her potential list of stuff, and eliminating the non-essentials. Storing it all every summer will be a huge PITA.
I vote for the road trip. If all the stuff doesn’t fit in the car, oh well. Indeed, less is more.
Just so you guys know- D will NOT be taking tons of stuff with her! I’ve already launched one D and I know what one needs for college. She has stayed in dorms several times now for summer programs and she KNOWS there isn’t a ton of room. This is just her hope that she can bring more, but believe me, dad and I will keep her firmly anchored in reality.
I’ve done several X-country trips and they can be a lot of fun. But it’s interesting to see the divergent opinions on this forum. We’ve got a year-I’m sure we’ll get it all sorted out in time.
One last thing to consider… Road tripping will give you an opportunity to spend some serious one-on-one time with your daughter. Once you get to school and get the stuff unloaded, it is really time to cut her loose. You don’t want to hover or follow her around campus.