<p>since i'm MNSF i've been getting a good amount of mail from schools that i have no interest in offering me substantial scholarships like full rides plus other perks. they're really great but the schools tend to be huge and just not really have what i'm looking for in a school. i feel like i should be going to one of these schools since i have the opportunity to go to school for free, but i just can't get myself excited about going to any of these places. is it ok to pay a good amount of money for a school because it fits me better, even when i could go to college for free? i don't want to go to any of these schools but so many people can't go to college because of economic issues and never get this kind of offer, so i feel terrible not really considering it. does anyone who's made the decision to turn down full rides have advice on how not to feel so guilty over this?</p>
<p>Both my kids turned down full rides and have no regrets. You have to do what is right for you.</p>
<p>If a school isn’t for you, it just isn’t for you. Yes, there are some people who can’t afford college, and more who can’t afford their top choice. Be glad that from what you said, you can, but don’t feel guilty about not taking a scholarship deal at a college you would not be happy attending. You said it exactly: there are tons of people who don’t get these kinds of offers, and that’s because there aren’t many people who make the kind of scores needed to get them. You did, so use the reward that gives you–your NMSF status–to go to the school you want to.</p>
<p>If you can afford the other school of your dreams than there’s nothing to feel guilty about. That money will go to some other deserving prospect. However, if you are going to fund your education with student loans, I would think long and hard before I gave up a debt free opportunity. My D want to go to school as “free” as possible. The Honors colleges at the big schools are going to make it feel more like a small school to her.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone. Just to clarify, I’m definitely looking into schools that will give me merit scholarships so that I don’t have to take out student loans, since I can’t exactly handle $50K/year. I’ve found safeties that I love that should hopefully give me good money so it’s not like I’m set on only a few top schools that I’ll have to struggle to pay for. I just feel bad barely considering schools that would pay my full way, since my parents can afford to pay for college to an extent, but it would be a lot nicer for them to not have to pay anything at all…</p>
<p>My son(NMSF) is applying to 8 schools. I feel pretty confident that at 4 of the 8 schools he should be full tuition or possibly full ride. Three of the other schools are reaches for full tuition. He will also be applying to 1 Ivy. After the results come in we will then weigh the financial implications of his opportunities. At that point I am not sure what direction he will take. We have put aside more than enough money to cover room and board at any of his potential choices. His choices may end up being -Total full ride with lots of money left over for grad school as well as plenty of money for study abroad - Full tuition with some money left over -Half tuition(or FA) with no money left over and mom and dad have to stretch a bit to make it work.</p>
<p>I guess what I am trying to say is guilt should not play as big of a role as practicality should.</p>
<p>You should talk to your parents now and see what they can realistically pay. Then search schools that give guaranteed merit, whether it be $10,000, 1/2 tuition, full tuition or full ride. Apply to your favorite 2 or 3 that would fit in your budget. Then apply wherever else you want and see how your aid comes out. This way you will definitely have someplace you can afford, that you like somewhat, no matter what happens financially.</p>
<p>*Just to clarify, I’m definitely looking into schools that will give me merit scholarships so that I don’t have to take out student loans, since I can’t exactly handle $50K/year. I’ve found safeties that I love that should hopefully give me good money *</p>
<p>You should apply somewhere that you KNOW for sure will give you great money, just in case the other schools don’t give you what you want.</p>
<p>Have your parents said that they will pay $55k per year? If not, then protect yourself, just in case.</p>
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<p>I hope that you understand that you personally will not be able to take out $50/ year in loans. You will be very limited in the amount you can takeout. Your parents, or other person would have to co-sign, and take some loans out in their name on your behalf. I just want to make sure that you do not think that you can take those large loans out on your own.</p>
<p>^I realize all of this, I meant my family cannot pay $50K but they probably could manage $30-40K, so any merit awards would be awesome. I do have financial safeties that are public, so I’m all set there. I didn’t mean for this to be about financial security- I’ve talked with my parents and my counselor and I have that covered- I’m more just thinking about the choice between going to a school for maybe $20K (which my family can afford) or for free, which seems like too good an opportunity to pass up even though I’m not interested in the schools.</p>
<p>smwhtslghtlydzed,
I just want to say this- pay special attention to mom2collegekids advise. There is nothing lost by applying to a college or University that offers you a free ride or free tuition. If your hopes for large merit $ do not materialize, at least you WILL be a able to go to college. Many U’s that offer free rides to top students also have terrific Honors programs, separate housing for Honors students, and lots of other perks that can make a big U feel smaller and cozy. Actually being able to GO to college is whats important, correct?</p>
<p>Nothing is to be gained by going deeply into debt. You are lucky to have affordable options.
5 years ago DS, who WAS accepted at 2 Ivys and 12 other top U’s and colleges, chose to go to USC on a full tuition scholarship. He found plenty of really smart students there and had a great college experience at USC, something I would never have expected at the time. [5 years ago USC was not nearly as well thought of as it is today] And he took full advantage of everything USC offered and graduated as one of it’s top students. He is now in grad school at Cal Tech.
Bottom line, a big scholarship can give you, and your parents the freedom from worrying where the money for college is going to come from.</p>
<p>I’m definitely looking into the schools that offer me money, it’s just that they simply don’t offer strong programs that I’m interested in going to college for. I’m not planning on going into debt because of college, that’s why I have UMass as a backup. Everyone’s advise is really good and I’m taking it into consideration, but I don’t know where everyone is getting the idea that I’m willing to go into debt for college. I do have backup plans. That being said, it never hurts to have a complete safety safety with a full ride and everything, so I’ll definitely consider that.</p>
<p>"it never hurts to have a complete safety safety with a full ride and everything, so I’ll definitely consider that. "</p>
<p>exactly!</p>
<p>what are the programs you are interested in?</p>
<p>I’m interested in Middle Eastern Studies so it’s really important to me for a college to have a good Arabic program, preferably teaching dialects in addition to Modern Standard (which nobody speaks) and flexibility with study abroad since I personally am fine with travel advisories (and luckily many of the colleges on my list are too), so I’m just looking for something very specific. I also really want a smaller environment, and while I realize I can supposedly get that through an honors college, from a lot of what I’ve heard it doesn’t really play out like that, so I can’t get at all excited about a school with 50K students. I realize I could get a good education anywhere but I’m looking for specific opportunities which makes things a little harder in the search.</p>
<p>edit: By ‘fine with travel advisories’ I hardly mean that I would be going into Syria right now or anything like that, I just mean if the situation looks safe enough I’m willing to overlook government suggestions if people who understand the situation support me in that decision.</p>
<p>have you looked into some of the new U’s being created in Saudia Arabia or Dubai, in conjuction with top US colleges? They are eager for US students and may have the programs you want at a price you can afford[ i.e free]</p>
<p>I would love that, but my parents want me to stay in the US for at least the first year so it’s not seeming like foreign Us are an option :(</p>
<p>well there is always this option, if you get into Cornell
[Programs>Brochure>Cornell</a> Abroad](<a href=“http://www.cuabroad.cornell.edu/index.cfm?FuseAction=Programs.ViewProgram&Program_ID=1506]Programs>Brochure>Cornell”>http://www.cuabroad.cornell.edu/index.cfm?FuseAction=Programs.ViewProgram&Program_ID=1506)</p>
<p>Reading around has really made me realize how blessed I am to have parents who are paying (and <em>can</em> pay, but the thanks there go to the guy upstairs, rather than my parents). My dad put himself through college and law school, and he and my mom say they want to give my siblings and I a leg up. Paying them back is one of my life’s goals, to be sure, but to have that up-front availability to enroll at the best school I can without the restriction of price is a tremendous gift.</p>
<p>As a NMS, my D could have gotten full rides from many colleges, many of which are very good schools. She didn’t apply because none of them fit her needs/abilities. For one thing, my D would not be able to relocate very far; she’s just not ready. What’s the good of going to a free school if you’re miserable?</p>
<p>My older D landed a Macauley/Hunter College sholarship which is full ride except for food, and she turned that down to go to Williams, which ended up costing us only a few thousand more than the Macauley program because Williams offered an extremely generous scholarship.</p>
<p>For us money matters–it is the chief deciding factor if the college is at all possible. For my younger D., the Merit choices were not possible for her. She is applying now after a gap year. </p>
<p>What my older D did was to apply to many colleges and then see what happened financially–she applied to 13. It was expensive, but I viewed it as an investment, as it increased her chances of landing a scholarship. The strategy paid off. My D is extremely happy at Williams, which is a better fit for her, although definitely Macauley looks amazing.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this helps, but each person is different. My D just couldn’t do, say, Alabama, nothing against Alabama, just that she wasn’t ready to move that far away. At the same time, do NOT discount cost! If you have to borrow the money, in this economy, I think you ought to think long and hard about what is worth what.</p>
<p>Williams is an excellent school but “all financial aid awards at Williams are based on need as determined by the Office of Financial Aid. The College does not sponsor and/or match National Merit Scholarships.” They just don’t have any merit scholarship, at all.</p>