Funerals aren’t tough for me, I have a little black dress and black cardigan and if it’s cold nice black pants. It’s also what I wear whenever I have to go before the zoning board to ask for a variance. I have a charcoal twinset that I also wear occasionally.
As a young architect I used to work hard at wearing clothes that projected artiness, with practicality. I make most of my fashion statements with earring that I pick up at art galleries and art shows.
I have a collection of scooped neck and v-neck t-shirts and jeans with a little stretch that I wear most days. In the summer I may wear (horrors!) capris. I’m often crawling around under decks or in attics these days, so getting too dressed up is just silly.
I asked H what people wear to zoning or supervisor meetings around here. He said jeans or khakis - often no one is wearing a tie. If someone is, it’s a lawyer. I’m not sure if he was just talking men, or if the ladies also tend to wear jeans/khakis. Almost always those in charge are men. I know our township has a lady, but I don’t see her dressing up TBH.
Homeowners often come dressed like slobs. The lawyers vary, some wear suits and ties, most business casual. I think you get taken more seriously if you look professional. I’ve only had my proposals rejected a couple of times and I had told my clients I thought they were overreaching, or they had not followed my advice to get their neighbors on board.
H is an engineer representing clients. We never go to the meetings as homeowners. It’s very, very rare that anything he brings up gets rejected and most of the townships around us refer new clients to him all the time. He doesn’t have to advertise and is backed up up work-wise for a couple of months.
If he’s dissed because of how he’s dressing (jeans or khakis pending his whim of the evening), it certainly isn’t noticeable outcome-wise. He fits in with others and does great work. He could probably go in shorts and a t-shirt and only the fashion folks would complain.
All fashion is human created anyway. What makes one human’s desires better than another? It boggles my mind. It’s why I don’t give a hoot what I wear. Someone else’s opinion isn’t greater than mine when it comes to what I do with clothing (for the most part).
The only formal dresses I have ever bought were for prom, bridesmaids dress, and my wedding dress. And I guess technically my parents bought 2/3 of those. If I got an invitation that specified cocktail/formal, I wouldn’t go. H definitely wouldn’t go! The only exception I can see making if for my kids’ weddings. But an event that cares that much as to how I’m dressed is not an event for me.
And I would never consider wearing heels. Doesn’t make sense. I can’t walk in them and im 5–10 as is. I don’t care if it would look better. Not doing it. I wore flats to my wedding, as a bridesmaid and also to prom.
One isn’t “the right choice” than another and yes both are human “made” - choices. But also one is not “better” than another - only to the individual. But it seems that people - with it without realizing it - and here on cc - diss the opposite of their own choice.
I’m a jeans (or shorts) and t-shirt girl. I do wear makeup but minimalist, and mostly just to cover those genetic dark circles under the eyes. I do get a pedicure occasionally but only because this is Arizona and it’s flip flops all summer, and only if I have someone to go with for fun—otherwise it’s DIY. I hate it when I have to dress up.
My son cares much more about fashion than I do, and told me the other day that he’ll thrift a new shirt and go home and try it on with ten different outfits so he always knows his options when he gets up in the morning. I was so confused!
I also have a daughter who moves seamlessly from looking completely put together and incredible (I think she learned how from YouTube because it wasn’t from me!) to out backpacking for days but most of the time is very casual. Other daughter is most like me. Prefers comfort and can look nice when it’s needed.
You sound just like me! During COVID (I think it was the second COVID summer) our nephew got married and they had to cut the wedding list way down because of COVID and make it much more intimate. It was a destination wedding across the country. I was so glad that we did not make the cut for the invite after I saw the photos. Everybody was sooooo fancy. All I had to do was sit back in my shorts and t-shirt and pick a gift off the registry.
We did go to a cousin’s wedding last fall that was outdoors. It was much more casual. I did dress up (kinda flowy linen pants and tank that my fancier friend helped me pick out with a thrift store sweater from my D22’s closet), but I just do not like more formal occasions. I am just not a formal person and I feel uncomfortable in those situations.
I was a bridesmaid for my sister way back when and I guess my parents bought that hideous pink dress. When I got married I wore my mom’s wedding dress (never set foot in a bridal store). If DH and I were getting married now we’d probably just go up on a mountain or out on a beach and do it in jeans and t-shirts!
The fashion threads have been interesting! I feel strongly that “fashion” is so personal and one should dress in whatever “fashion” makes you happy.
A couple of my friends attend fashion week and at the other extreme I have friends who live in tees, jeans and wouldn’t dream of makeup. It’s all good.
In relation to some folks here, I may be considered “into fashion” even though my usual attire is pretty casual. I highlight my hair, wear light makeup and get manis/pedis. But I don’t consider myself overly trendy. I’ll pay for quality classic pieces (that have lasted 20 years) and mix with a trendy inexpensive find. We do love thrifting and a good thrift buy is definitely a conversation in my friend group.
I do enjoy the occasional formal event. The last full length dress I purchased (about 5 years ago) was an impulse buy with no specific event in mind. It’s a gorgeous eggplant toned column silk gown that I stumbled across while thrifting… the best $6 ever spent!! So I agree that enjoying fashion doesn’t mean spending $$$.
ETA: I’m adding “don’t give a hoot” to my vocabulary. I smile every time @Creekland says it. It reminds me of my favorite aunt who’d have much in common with you and many others in this thread.
One time I was doing contract work as a CAD technician for a local architecture firm. I was in a back room with no contact with clients. One night, I worked until 4 am in their office in an iffy part of town (I was the only person there). I went home for a couple of hours and was back at my desk at 8 am. Yes, I was wearing a t shirt and shorts. My supervisor called me in to say I needed to dress better. I was not impressed. Of course, this guy is about the only engineer left on the state who still wears a tie!
And they shouldn’t diss either TBH. I feel most at home at an event (church, concert, whatever) where people can be dressed in a suit/dress or jeans and everyone mingles just fine.
Ditto again. Eons ago my aunt and uncle got married on horseback. That was neat. H and I had a typical church wedding and we were most comfortable later that day when we were on a plane out of there. But I’ll do one more wedding for my middle son once they set a date.
This is how we are too (H and myself), though no one we know attends fashion week. They just follow it on the internet, etc.
I fit into the everyday who-gives-a-hoot group, but I love, love, love formal attire, like white tie formal. I own full-length white gloves, a full-length black velvet cape, a black fox muff, an amazing set of pearls, and an embarrassment of bling. DH has opera pumps, multiple silk scarves, and two tuxes. One section of my closet is just gowns dating back to early marriage and Boston days where black tie was appropriate at any fine venue after six. We used to attend many, many formal events and dressed elegantly for frequent fine dining. I miss those days and that era. I was very sad when we moved to Arizona where even NYE parties don’t warrant formal wear. I perked up when our son’s choice of a service academy included an annual formal military ball. Those were lovely. And this is why I don’t need to buy a dress for his wedding. I can easily shop my closet for any formal event.
This was my D’s wedding–no dress code. Everything from suits to friends in shorts. Women tended to be in cocktail dresses or sundresses, but again, whatever they wanted. Bridesmaids picked whatever dress they wanted. My H wore a suit, but changed out of so fast he ended up doing father/daughter dance in his jeans. No one cared.
And everyone looked fine and had a great time. If people want to organize the crowd, that’s fine, but that wasn’t for us.
