<p>On recent thread about wardrobe, it was suggested by one parent that the OP "honor your son's style" when it comes to gearing up for BS. Another parent suggested "Why not let him pick his own clothes?"</p>
<p>While I had always interpreted that thread as more about quantities than type, these comments made me think "How DO kids develop their own personal sense of style...and how far away are some kids' sense of style from that of their parents?" For that matter, their taste in music, movies, books, food, etc.</p>
<p>Pelican Dad noted "Now I'm the old man...and my wife likes <em>preppy</em>. DS does, too, it turns out." I'd say that pretty much applies to our family, at least clothing-wise...our kids dress similarly to my wife and I, albeit age-appropriately.</p>
<p>Would love to know other parent's thoughts and experience with this. Do your kids dress similarly to you or are they totally different? How about their tastes in music or other "personal style/preferences" as noted above? </p>
<p>In any cases where your child has radically different tastes...how do you think they got there (are they following pop culture standards and/or what happens to be "fashionable" within their circle of friends?) and are you really cool with that?</p>
<p>I happen to have a daughter who thanks me for “not trying to dress like a teenager.” We share a closet but the only article of clothing that are interchangeable are the converse all-stars. Granted, she’s pretty conservative in her style, but def not as conservative as I am. </p>
<p>All that said, I’m thankful to have a teenager in the house. She keeps me from getting too frumpy, even if she does steal my mascara too often. :)</p>
<p>^^Same here - teenage daughter would never borrow my clothes (way too boring!), but the jewelry and makeup are another matter!</p>
<p>Son truly doesn’t care about clothes - just wants easy, blend-in-with-everyone-else stuff (non-fashion jeans, basic tees and non-logo polo shirts, basic fleece sweatshirts, no-name khakis and light blue button-downs for dressing up, etc.). And as far as the “acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree” – his dad dresses the same way.</p>
<p>Gosh - my children developed their own style outside of me. My oldest has style closer to my mother’s - eclectic, but trendy fashions or wild and ethnic. My youngest is more Brooks Brothers and Talbots - like my mother in-law. Both wear the same sizes as their generational doppelgangers so they raid those closets when they visit. Saves me a bundle on clothing.</p>
<p>I’m convinced fashion skips a generation. I’m a jeans wearing tomboy with power tools. My husband on the other hand has exquisite, meticulous taste in clothing. Hmmm - maybe they got their taste from him. lol!</p>
<p>I think kids develop their style from a variety of sources; family, friends, school, media. </p>
<p>My husband and I have fairly broad musical tastes, with a good amount of crossover between us. All three of our kids love music, and there’s some crossover between our choices and each of theirs, but each has groups/genres they enjoy that aren’t shared. </p>
<p>DC1 is very particular about clothes, fairly conservative and excellent with the iron. Definitely more like my husband than me. Did it bother me? I’m not sure how I’d define it. At first I was amused (nothing like your 3 year old asking for a shirt to be ironed), then confused, (really? you’re comfortable to just hang out in a collared shirt and chinos?), but it’s who he is. </p>
<p>DC2 doesn’t care much about every day clothes. Rumpled ts, comfie jeans, he’s ready. He does take dress up occasions seriously, not in terms of brands but in terms of style. Just as much himself in a jacket and tie as in jeans. </p>
<p>DC3 loves clothes, with a very frilly style. Not sure where it came from, but it’s hers. </p>
<p>None of my kids care about brand names, what stores the clothes came from, or if they’re hand me downs. All take a certain pleasure in an excellent thrift store find.</p>
<p>My son’s school wardrobe is more reflective of his peers clothing choices than his own style. Camo, Cabelas, athletic shorts, jeans, and teeshirts rule the school day andhe fits in. If he wears a Polo or sweater to his public school, kids ask him why he is so dressed up. I should ask him but I think he is partly attracted to BS so that he can dress better w/o fear of ridicule. </p>
<p>My kid will eat almost anything although he is not fond of Sushi. We exposed him to good food and restaurants as a toddler. No kids menu. We read the big menu to him and let him pick. I am not sure if he knew what Pheasant or Duck were when ordering them but he has tended to gravitate towards poultry dishes.</p>
<p>He and I have similar tastes in movies, preferring action and comedy although we both liked Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris that we got dragged to.</p>
<p>I’m not sure if I “try to dress like a teenager” but whenever I take one of those “What Women Should Wear In Their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and Beyond" quizzes (love how they lump all remaining ages in that last category), I fail. Miserably. I simply wear what I like but the bias is definitely trendy.</p>
<p>Son is hopelessly trendy. He’s like a walking lookbook and very particular about clothing.</p>
<p>Where we differ is with food choices. He’s a committed vegan and while I didn’t have much to contribute to the wild, exotic hunting thread that was popular a while back, I do occasionally enjoy a dish of tasty grilled chicken. Still, I’m not sure why but I do feel a pang of guilt as I survey his stir-fry tofu/brown rice/veggies concoction and compare it to my plate of poultry that looks like its been branded. Those poor little chickies.</p>
<p>Both of my daughters raised in a household where we strive to be neat are now affected mainly by their peer groups:
DD1- senior @ local Public HS- is done with her “indy” phase and is now full on Florida prep- Lilly, Vineyard Vines, J Crew, Tory and Jack Rogers. She is fully prepared for her life in College </p>
<p>DD2- 8th grader- (Groton) has morphed her prep style to meld with her NE peers - Bean boots, Hunters, North Face, Preppy shorts and sweaters, Toms, Tory and Jack Rogers- similar to DD1 but tweaked.</p>
<p>I am not very preppy- more classic and conservative- my husband however is a walking billboard for the American Preppy male- so I guess they follow Dad more than Mom! :)</p>
<p>My 14 year old son couldn’t care less about clothes. I buy him whatever I choose, typically conservative like mine…chinos, t-shirts, Polos, etc. For school he has dress code with clothes to be bought from Lands’ End, etc. He has ZERO interest in picking his own clothes. He has zero interest in picking up his clothes from bedroom floor, bathroom floor and he has zero interest in washing clothes. I wash them, fold them and then tell him put them in his closet. It will be a shock to him when he goes to dorm in September.</p>
<p>D has gone from total fashionista wearing skirts, dresses, draped scarves, color-coordinated tights and those buttonless, loose sweater-things every day to donning them just a couple times a week now that she’s in college and often has to scramble out in anything that is easy to throw on to make those early morning classes.</p>
<p>She is always trying to go shopping with me to do a “What Not to Wear”-style makeover. I always graciously decline, preferring my cotton t-shirts, jeans and a fleece or a cotton Eddie Bauer quilted jacket every day and oh yeah, plus Dock Siders. For fancy parties and such I do have normal grown-up skirted cocktail suits and even a lone long dress. For those time at least, I am not an embarrassment to myself or others.</p>
<p>My first feeling upon reading that one “respect the kid’s personal style” comment is that “Well, what if the kid’s ‘personal style’ is not within dress code of the school s/he is going to be attending in the Fall?” </p>
<p>Or, and keep in mind that I have two daughters, what if a parent feels that their child’s “personal style” is inappropriate or immodest/not in line with your values? I do think parents can and should have a say in these things…especially in the tween to early teen years (12, 13, 14, 15)…however Tiger-Dad that makes me seem. I mean, if I had a boy, he would not rock the “sag” look (where you can see the kid’s underwear because his pants ride so low). That simply looks sloppy to me and I would not buy him ill-fitting clothing no matter how many of his friends sported the look.</p>
<p>I do think that clothes can make a difference not only in how others perceive you but also in how you perceive yourself. There was a a recent string of press about study that showed how people did better on some test when they were wearing a white lab coat.</p>
<p>In the SevenFamily household, the acorn has indeed not fallen too far from the tree. I noted what my BS daughter (home on long weekend break) was wearing today when I met her and her mother at the orthodontist this morning. Daughter: canvas Converse, slim leg pinwale cords, plaid flannel shirt, mom’s old lightweight down jacket (it’s turned cold in our part of the country!); Mother: Suede flats, slim dark jeans, black knit top, slim cut insulated jacket. Neither is going to win any “best dressed” contests, but both were presentable and neat.</p>
<p>I think kids take their cues from all sorts of sources, and I think if, from an early age, you steer them towards what you think are “high water marks” for style, music, etc. it will make a lasting and positive impression.</p>
<p>My son has “his gay.” One of his close friends who happens to be gay and also expresses a heightened sense of fashion consciousness, in concert with some of the girls at school, sent my son home with a shopping list at the winter break for clothing that would accentuate his hotness (skinny jeans, fitted tshirts). Queer eye, indeed. They all laugh about it…but my son wanted the clothes, and the girls have expressed their approval.</p>
<p>My son knows not to wear cargo or gym shorts to certain types of golf courses and wouldn’t be caught dead without at least a sport coat in certain restaurants. </p>
<p>Sure, I would like him in at least nice chinos and a polo but that is not the custom in his current public school. Learning to meet social norms is an important part of growing up in my view and yes, my kid would never crawl around with his undies exposed by droopy shorts favored in places like Camden and East LA. Some of the clothing that kids can wear is not acceptable in this home.</p>
<p>In the other thread, I was thinking if I were the child, I would not want 14 pairs of underwear, socks, tee shirts, etc.</p>
<p>@Weatherby, I’m guessing we live in different neighborhoods. I live in a very diverse community, and that is reflected in the personal style of the kids. Some preppy, some rockers, some hipsters, some with droopy drawers Certain trends are seen more or less in different schools, but I see general tolerance and respect for different styles, even within individual schools. </p>
<p>As for how many pairs of underwear, etc, my child will be doing his own laundry. This won’t be new to him, therefore he understands that sometimes life gets in the way, therefore it isn’t shocking or a nuisance to have a few extra pairs. </p>
<p>In the interest of full disclosure, my child has never been to a golf course, nor to a restaurant that requires a sport coat. This does not mean he doesn’t understand the concept of different dress codes being appropriate in different settings–and he knows to ask beforehand if the situation is new to him.</p>
<p>I can’t help but wonder how many parents of yesteryear complained about the fashion choices and/or lifestyles of their children who came of age in the mid 60s to mid 70s. The parents of teens in the 1950s must have also recoiled each time they spotted a guy with a black leather jacket and slick hair or a girl with high tied midriff and tight capris. (Also in the interest of full disclosure, I graduated high school – Class of ’89. Everything we wore was utterly ridiculous and I have the photos to prove it). </p>
<p>The only bright spot in this trend is that in 30 years, some former droopy, sagging short-wearing guy will be equally outraged at the inconceivable fashion selections of the future generation. That’ll teach em.</p>
<p>123mama…sorry if I offended you. I just think showing one’s undies is unacceptable and have no tolerance for that nor would I find it acceptable for skin exposure in church. If an establishment has attire rules, they should be followed in my view and I expect my son to adhere to such standards. Call me old fashioned.</p>
<p>pcotten, sounds like my boy until this year, when he’s suddenly developing a sense of style. Mostly preppy and conservative, but hey, he actually wanted to go clothes shopping with me over spring break, which was a fun change of pace. He’s on a laundry plan, and has learned to appreciate a well-ironed shirt. College will be his rude awakening…</p>
<p>@nylecoj007: I think you are right that every generation of parents looks at the younger generation and shakes its collective head at the music, fashions, and fads of their children.</p>
<p>However, I think it is also true that neatness and “dressing appropriately for the situation” have always been in style and always will be. I’m sure that most, if not all, of the parents on this board (and that I know) would prefer that their children dressed like Gary Grant and Grace Kelly than Snooki and “The Situation”.</p>
<p>Note that I find that inappropriate dress can and often does cut across class, race, and geographic divides.</p>
Certain trends are seen more or less in different schools, but I see general tolerance and respect for different styles, even within individual schools. </p>