<p>I mean, about going to a pricy college. I go to an expensive private college notorious for sucky FA (i'll give you a hint...it's initials are N...Y...and U). My family is like upper middle class I guess, my dad's salary used to be around $120K, but that doesn't mean we have $200K to spare...my dad supports the family of 5 plus 2 sick grandparents on his salary, only he kinda doesn't have a job anymore...he resigned a couple months back, since the company was going down. </p>
<p>I mean, I commute so I don't need to pay for meal plan/room/board, and I take out most of my books from the library so I don't spend a lot on books, and i have a part-time job which takes care of personal expenses, but my family is basically paying out of pocket, and I feel really bad. My sister will start college in a year, and she has her heart set on some pricy LAC's like Lehigh, Bucknell, Vassar...it's gonna be a doozy. </p>
<p>I feel really guilty cause I know I can get an equally good education at my state college for 1/3 the price, and I won't have to commute (waking up at 6 for 8 am classes is not fun...it takes about 50 mins to get there, driving and 2 trains) i considered transferring out, but i like it here and don't want to leave my friends/NYC behind. I'm still considering it, but i'm really on the fence...any advice? similar feelings?</p>
<p>If I felt THAT bad I wouldn't be here at all, I would have flat out refused to go. </p>
<p>NYU was my dream college, I love it here and want to stay....but it's so damn expensive! transferring to a SUNY college is the smart thing to do, right? my friends keep saying i'm lucky my parents are willing to pay outta pocket and should just stay, but I do feel really guilty.</p>
<p>You're probably guilty because you know you are only there because your parents pay for it and you don't appreciate it enough to pay for it yourself.</p>
<p>Would it have been a good idea to have gone to SUNY the first two years, and then attempted to transfer into NYU as a junior so as to save two years' tuition of what would mostly be introductory/general ed. courses anyway? </p>
<p>In any case, I think it's really great on your part that you are helping lighten the financial costs by commuting, watching book expenses, and taking a part-time job. However, if you really feel as if you are hurting your family, maybe it would be better that you transfer out. But you need to make that decision yourself.</p>
<p>I have some personal experience with your kind of situation. When I was a senior in high school, I was accepted into my dream school, a top university. I also got accepted to a lower-ranked college that offered me a large scholarship. If I had gone to the dream school, my parents would have had to sacrifice a lot-- they tried to keep it secret from me, but I caught them arguing about mortgages and changing insurance and such before I made my final decision. I couldn't stand the thought of putting my family in debt. The heartbreak of not going to my dream school was offset by the heartbreak I knew I'd feel if I did go and made them sacrifice so much for me. So I went to the lower-ranked college instead. And I ended up very happy.</p>
<p>Yeah, exactly Luke - I don't appreciate it enough that I would take out serious loans to attend, but since my parents offered to pay, I took the free ride. sometimes i regret it though. and yep, transferring after 2 years might have been a good idea, although then I would have to leave all my friends and college behind and start over as a Junior.</p>
<p>felt really guilty, and then i got to college and went crazy wasting my parents' money for various stuff. you get over the guilt pretty quickly when you have other distractions</p>
<p>i'm actually a freshman right now...yeah I have distractions, especially here in NYC, but I wouldn't go crazy wasting my parents money...</p>
<p>my parents pay for tuition and books, that's more than enough. I use money from my part time job and tutoring to pay for personal expenses, like shopping, dates, going out.</p>
<p>i like it here, but sometimes I feel like it's just not worth it. i'm paying for a name brand and some fun times in the city, not education. besides, I live near the city so even if I transfer, I can hang out here when classes aren't in session.</p>
<p>I guess the difference is my family is pretty small so my parents don't really need to support that many people (although I guess our financial situation right now isn't exactly easy for them), but I feel kind of disconnected from it all. Overall, despite me wasting money more than other people, I think I'm still going to end up costing my parents less than they do because somehow I've been recouping some of the cost.</p>
<p><em>shrugs</em> I ended up looking at a similar situation, but my family flat-out told me that they would only cover $20k per year and anything over that would be covered by my taking out loans. Decided it wasn't worth it and I went to the cheap state school. And, y'know, I'm enjoying it there, too. And it's nice knowing that I'm not being too much of a burden, particularly given that I'm the eldest of three kids and my parents are seriously considering taking on the problems of either my cousin or my aunt, both of who have fairly serious mental problems. </p>
<p>Only you can decide what to do, but here's saying that the cheap state school might not be all that bad if you feel that bad about costing your family money.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I mean, I commute so I don't need to pay for meal plan/room/board, and I take out most of my books from the library so I don't spend a lot on books, and i have a part-time job which takes care of personal expenses, but my family is basically paying out of pocket, and I feel really bad. My sister will start college in a year, and she has her heart set on some pricy LAC's like Lehigh, Bucknell, Vassar...it's gonna be a doozy.
[/quote]
Honey, it looks like you're doing your part to keep expenses down. Let the "grown-ups" worry about the "grown-up" stuff. Yes, at this age you should be taking an interest in family finances, but somethings should be left to the parents (philosophies vary on this of course). Just do your part by getting good grades and keeping down the expenses as you already are doing.</p>
<p>As for transferring, the right school for oneself is sooo hard to find. You've found it, so make things work, so you don't have to leave. There is money out there to be found.</p>
<p>When I was in college, I too felt guilty. The school wasn't right for me, but I was in a special program, so I stayed in it even though I didn't think it was worth it (my parents wanted me to stay). I wish I hadn't felt so guilty all the time because we made it through just fine.</p>