<p>The audition process is very stressful, mostly for the students doing it, but certainly also for parents. We are deeply empathetic to our children, which is at it should be. But I think, as parents, it is our duty to do our best to be (as another, wiser parent put it last year on this board) their "soft place to land" when rejection strikes, as it will. If we get too emotionally tangled in this process and are unable to eat, sleep and are generally panicked, our kids will certainly see and feel that, and they just may interpret that as a sign that we don't believe in them. Worse, when they fail/are rejected/a school passes on accepting them (however you wanna put it!), our kids may believe deep inside that <em>we</em> are disappointed in them and that they have let <em>us</em> down. I am sure none of us wants that. I know I am proud as can be of my daughter and tell her frequently how brave I think she is to go through this process. I am sure all of you are doing the same.</p>
<p>I agree 100% with NMR. Our children have to go through enough just dealing with their own disappointment at getting a rejection. As parents we need to console them, support them and restore their faith in their ability. We need to smile and let them know we still believe in them. Teach them things like "their loss" "oh WELL" and "NEXT" and a belief that everything happens for a reason and it will all work out for the best. I think the worse thing we can do is be emotional because then they have to not only deal with their own disappointment but feel responsible for ours. My daughter has already mentioned the fees, the travel expenses and all the costs and her fear that after I had paid all this there would be nothing to show for it. There is NO way I want her feeling THAT pressure or guilt too. I'm an adult and I know the # of talented kids auditioning and the # being admitted. I know it is like playing the lottery with as much of a guaranteed return. Yes, I happen to think I have a winning ticket but if I don't...OH WELL. It's a present I wanted to give to her and sharing this adventure and time before she goes off to college has been a present to myself that is worthwhile all on its own. </p>
<p>What I don't understand MT is if you have such disdain for the school, why do you even care she didn't get in? Be thankful and move on</p>
<p>I don't often read the CCM forum but was directed to this discussion by another CC member. As has been said by dancersmom and NMR, this process is stressful for the parents as well as the students. As upsetting and disappointing as a rejection is, it truly is our job as parents (and adults), to make sure that we are that proverbial 'soft place to land'. Each and every auditionee is going to need that soft place at some point during their audition season. I have yet to see a CC applicant who gets into every program for which they audition. Venting, as a parent, is a good outlet but one thing I think everyone should remember is that sometimes it's not a good idea to be too specific or vociferous in bashing individual schools, their faculty, their audition practices, their auditors, etc., on the forum. </p>
<p>Many people read the forums at CC, including many who never post. For those involved in the process, either at Unifieds, or at individual schools, it isn't very difficult to identify who a particular parent or student is by reading their posts here on the forum. It's an emotional time, and that will only increase in the coming weeks, so it's a good time to share with friends here on CC, but it's wise to use some discretion in public comments. Lastly, please know that all of us here on CC who have been through this process are all cheering on this year's kids. We wish the best for each and every one of you!</p>
<p>Ok chiming in here :). I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their opinions and totally respect each and everyone's take on things. That is also what this Board is for. If we want "facts and figures" we should always rely on the actual source, but experiences is what we read about here. </p>
<p>That said, I also feel that sometimes it is easy to forget MTDad that this process is truly one of "whatever is meant to be, is meant to be", and may be this was just one of those "not meant to be" times for your D. </p>
<p>I know if may sound corny, but looking at things that way makes things a lot easier. Many incredibly talented kids get rejected; rather than questioning why a particular school did not recognize their talent, I think it is easier to take the approach of "things happen for a reason", and move on. This really worked well for our family, and kept us relatively stress free.</p>
<p>Looking back at my D's abbreviated audition season and her results, she counts her blessings and looks at her own, far from stellar, CCM audition experience as one that she would not have wanted to miss regardless. Every one of these experiences helps build character. </p>
<p>Sending positive thoughts to everyone :)!</p>
<p>Putting in my 2 cents. As parents, it's hard not to get upset when we feel are children are rejected. This is a stressful process for everyone involved. But it is what it is, and I think there are many factors involved when these schools are looking at potential students, and not just the student's performing skills. And that is the nature of the business.</p>
<p>My sister and brother-in-law have worked in the business for years, and recently went up for an open call for a show my brother-in-law has been workshopping for 3 years. My sister said 500 women showed up, and the casting director just walked down the line and "typed out" 400, including herself, without so much as hearing one person open her mouth. My brother-in-law was lucky enough to be selected to go through the audition process for the next month, just based on appearance. And that is the way it is.</p>
<p>Not getting selected for any particular program does not necessarily reflect your child's performance abilities. You don't know what other factors they are looking for to fill the needs of their particular program.</p>
<p>I will try to be brief today :) I agree with Alwaysamom that it is best to be discrete when posting publicly. It is not as difficult as you might think to identify people who post here. I know that I have been able to recognize several people from my area who have posted in the past and I myself have been recognized. Venting can be quite cathartic, but it's dangerous to do it too vehemently on a public site such as this.</p>
<p>Having said this, I do want to say that I truly empathize with all of the parents who are going through the audition process with their kids this year. It's a very emotional process. My D certainly had her share of rejections when she was auditioning for college, and she continues to have them today, as she will for the rest of her career. Someone on another CC forum called herself a spongemom - she soaks up all of her children's feelings. I can really identify with that. I'm definitely a spongemom. I've felt every one of my D's disappointments. (I think that she actually bounced back faster than I.) I am very aware that I must be careful not to let my own disappointment add to my child's distress. NMR and MomOf A Princess said it very well - our kids need to know that we believe in them and we need to help them learn good coping skills. When the inevitable disappointment comes we need to be their "soft place to land".</p>
<p>In the college audition process it is rare for any of us to ever know why one student was accepted and another rejected. I still stand by my belief that a shorter audition is not inherently less fair to students than a very lengthy one. When my D auditioned for college 4 years ago, she auditioned for 7 programs. The amount of time she spent actually performing was about the same at all of the schools. At some schools she was interviewed by the auditors, which did allow them to get to know her a bit as a person. Faculty could get a sense of what she would be like to work with and what her personality is like. I don't for a second believe that whether or not people thought she'd be easy to teach would have made any difference had the auditors not FIRST believed that her audition was up to snuff. D was accepted at schools where faculty did not say much more than hello. I know many students in many MT programs all over the country. I've also read many CC posters' experiences over the past 5 years. I have concluded that you can't tell anything about whether or not a school is interested in a student based on whether or not they chat with him or her before or after s/he auditions.</p>
<p>Are extremely talented students rejected? All the time. College classes are not built on the basis of talent alone. Schools would be foolish to create a class solely on the basis of which kids have the most talent. Imagine what would happen if the top 24 candidates were all petite, blonde, ingenues. If those 24 girls were the only ones admitted, casting a show would be impossible. </p>
<p>Do faculty make mistakes and occasionally admit the wrong student? Of course. No human endeavor is ever perfect. There is no way anyone can be 100% sure that every student who is admitted into a program is going to be a good fit, will work hard, and will fulfill the promise that he or she showed at the audition. </p>
<p>All that performers can ever do is try to control the elements that are in their hands. Practice well, choose appropriate material, take care of oneself physically and emotionally, and present oneself well. You try to give the best audition you can possibly give. If you have done your best, you can walk out of an audition room with your head held high. I know that we parents are all very proud of our kids when they have done their best.</p>
<p>I hope that we parents can grow along with our children as they move along their life's path. My youngest is graduating from college this spring and I am still working on my mom skills. I am concluding that I will continue evolving as a parent for the rest of my life. I'll always be a mom, but my role in my kids' lives will be ever changing. (Alwaysamom, I'm jealous of your posting name. I wish I had thought of it :).) I will always be proud of my kids' successes and sad when they have disappointments, but ownership of both is theirs, not mine.</p>
<p>Best wishes to all the students and their families as this year's college audition season winds down.</p>
<p>Well said, dancersmom. You are so right on all counts. I like the term "spongemom," by the way. I think we are all spongemoms and dads, to some extent, or we wouldn't be a presence here, helping gather info for our beloved kids and helping them along in this step of their lives. Having a kid is like having your heart walk around in someone else's body. That's why we feel their pain so acutely. And it is why we have to use what we have that they do not -- maturity and the sense of perspective that comes with age -- as they move through this life event/rite of passage. We are old enough and smart enough to know that this particular thing -- college admissions -- is not the be-all and end-all of their lives, nor is it even a hallmark of whether they are talented or will be successful later on. It's just another step -- albeit an important and expensive one! :) -- along the way. (OK, I will stop trying to wax poetic now.) :)</p>
<p>"It's a present I wanted to give to her and sharing this adventure and time before she goes off to college has been a present to myself that is worthwhile all on its own." </p>
<p>Thanks, MomOfaPrincess - what a great sentiment this is!! It really does help (me, at least) to think of the experience in this way. The time together, the ups and downs, etc. was a much bigger, more important and more rewarding (minus the evening that our daughter melted into an emotional puddle...) part of the process than I expected. </p>
<p>That being said, I think there's some value to future CC readers in seeing MTDad777's frustration and anger. Many of us likely have felt some of that, and it's probably useful for those who are just starting this adventure to realize that this is a rough process in more ways than just the daunting acceptance numbers, costs, etc. Dealing with these negative feelings and not allowing them to affect our daughter has been one of the harder things for my wife and me.</p>
<p>PCassedy - Calling me immature is a personal attack, I did not attack any one personally! I stated a very emotional opinion which I think many parents that read this board can relate to. I have also expressed my opinion on the audition process which I think could been done better.
I want to clarify my original post regarding the CD that we used, Our CD did not sound that bad. We had our voice teacher record each song 8-10 times and we took the best tracks. Generally I don't think the CDs sound nearly as good as an accompanist, but if I had to do it again I would purchase a professional pre-recorded track. Can someone please post where the best place is to purchase or download MT tracks? thanks!</p>
<p>All other posters - Great stuff! I think I started a little banter with my so called rant. Thank you all for your support and kind words, this is much cheaper than therapy! Best of luck to all, please make sure you post any good news, it's great to hear.</p>
<p>One of my D's previous teachers used musicalcreations.com</p>
<p>You can download, order special CDs, or have the key changed and they usually have multiple time lengths which helps if you only need a 2 min song for an audition.</p>
<p>I have used it when something comes up quickly and I can't get hold of someone to play for my D.</p>
<p>As someone who has done 2 college auditions this year where pre-recorded accompaniment was needed, I can say that I really do hate it. Having that piano playing while I'm auditioning always seems to make me feel more confident and wayyy more, well, revved up to do my audition.</p>
<p>Besides the excitement factor, I think using an accompanimist is extremely helpful because at some auditions (my PennState one, for example), the faculty "behind the table" might want to hear you sing one of your songs in a higher/lower key. Ya can't do that with a CD!</p>
<p>I understand that some people have had bad experiences with an accompanimist -- fortunately, I never have. </p>
<p>Oh, and I auditioned for CCM on February 3 at the NYC Unifieds (loveddd dancing in a conference room...right). Still haven't heard.</p>
<p>I auditioned on the 2nd too and I haven't heard as well. I, for some reason, don't really mind having it recorded- I guess because like some of the previous posts say, there are no surprises. But ya can't beat the sound of live acoustics.... there are ups and downs to both. </p>
<p>al drago116, I soo agree about the fact that if the faculty wants to hear other material and/or in a different key, with a tape.. you're out of luck.</p>
<p>WHEW! What a discussion.....I have to agree that breathing is always a good thing for any Mom or Dad. </p>
<p>Awful stuff - that rejection thing and I know some schools were better than others at communication and auditions- at least in my eyes.. I kept thinking of 2 events -
1. My D's CD not playing for her most "wanted" audition. She sang acapella and got in.....and in my eyes it was the worst run audition of all she did from the most sought after program there is.</p>
<ol>
<li> An audition in NY for a national tour where she was typed in (and about 75% were typed out) before they sang a note. She did not get the part but I felt awful for the girls who had waited 6 hours with us and then never even got to sing.....that is what our kids will be up against eventually.</li>
</ol>
<p>Just my 2 cents worth!
MikksMom</p>
<p>auditioned feb. 10 in Los Angeles....just got my rejection letter today. SO much fun!</p>
<p>One of my friends auditioned on the Monday in CCM and got accepted VIA email at noon today. (For Acting)</p>
<p>Yes, she is a girl.</p>
<p>is the acting catagory separate from MT?</p>
<p>I believe so.</p>
<p>Have you heard anything yet? I think you have posted alot of times on here and I don't remember seeing anything for you yet.</p>
<p>No CCM news! I auditioned Feb 6th and haven't gotten an email/letter.</p>
<p>I auditioned for CMU, CCM, Boco, UM, NYU and did a walk on at Point Park. (Just to practice doing a university audition, had not heard of the school.)</p>