My child has a lot of anxiety, and the process of scheduling, visiting, and discussing colleges has been really tough on everyone. She has good grades, strong SATs, and meaningful extracurriculars. Her focus is definitely on biology/research. We do have financial need.
We have visited so many schools, and it’s always a misery. I’d like to encourage her to wind down the exploration and just apply to 3 schools (already visited) that feel good to her—one safety, one match, and one reach. It seems that students often apply to 6-10 schools, and maybe one ED. Would we be doing her a service or a disservice to apply to so few? What’s your opinion?
One of my daughter’s bff’s applied to one school only. It was her safety where she knew she’d get into honors college with significant merit. It had rolling admission so she knew in October.
IMO, if the NPC at all three schools show they are affordable options, and your daughter would be happy to attend any of the three, there is no need to apply to more. If one has rolling admission, even better.
If the financial aid piece isn’t clear cut, then adding more to the list may be wise just in case but she doesn’t have to go visit them in person.
S only applied to two, and they were both auto-admit safeties. We toured four, and he loved those two so much that he called a halt to further touring.
As long as she is truly happy with her choices and would be fine attending any of them, three is not an issue. Just make sure that the safety is both an admission AND a financial safety.
If your safety is a real safety it is OK. To be a real safety it has to meet 3 criteria. First, you have to have a really high chance of acceptance. As near 100% as possible. It has to be affordable with guaranteed aid if necessary. Lastly the student has to be happy attending.
I think this is a perfectly fine approach as long as all three colleges are where your child will be happy attending. After all, your child will only attend one school in the end
My kids (so far two out of 3) only applied to ONE school each. They knew where they wanted to go, they knew they’d get merit and assured admission. Why waste time, money and energy when their first choice is also a safety school?
Back in the day DH and I also only applied to one school.
I see no issue with only applying to a few, just make sure that whatever you apply to is do-able financially. My DD did not listen to us about budget and applied to and was accepted to several schools that she would have loved to attend, unfortunately, they were way out of budget and not do-able. Tough lesson to learn.
Then she applied to schools that were financially do-able, of which she only applied to two - she got into both and then decided which one was the best fit for her.
Personally, I would add another safety /low match. It can be helpful to feel like there is a choice in the spring. If she’s really enthusiastic about the safety, it’s fine, but often, if something is the only option, it loses its allure.
This also leaves a little room for shifting preferences (not uncommon senior year, btw).
Will you know the outcome (at least admissions and comfortable with the likely financial situation) by the RD deadline of other schools that your D is interested in? If so and/or she is auto-admitted to an affordable school, seems like a good strategy. If not, is there an EA or rolling admissions school on her list that would be a match/safety. I might add that school. Admissions can be such a crapshoot these days that I think it is always wise to have Plan B ready. If she is not accepted by a school by Jan 1, I’d have some back up apps ready to go.
Since you have financial need, applying to only a few schools may not be a luxury you can afford.
College visits can be overwhelming. Some kids love them but not everyone. Visits may not be the right college search approach for your daughter. My son is not at all anxiety prone but college visits stressed him out to nearly the breaking point. The format that clicked for him was the multi-college presentation/road-show. Ones like “8 of the Best Colleges” and “Colleges That Change Lives”. Nearly all of the schools he applied to (other than our in-state safeties) came from those presentations.
Don’t worry about visits but that’s no reason to limit her applications if you think she would benefit from applying widely. Not everyone needs to so maybe three is enough if you know you can afford those three and she likes them. If not, more visits can wait until after acceptances come out. She may feel more comfortable visiting a school that has already said “we want you” and that she knows you can afford.
Make sure you properly assess safety and match. An admit to a holistic college is more than stats. And you may not be the best judge of her EC strengths and/or writing for the app/supp.
Many on CC suggest kids can apply to more without visiting. That can come after the admits roll in. Also, in a case like this, you or the GC might suggest the other targets to apply to, spare her if she’s anxious. You likely have an idea of her personality and where she might “fit and thrive.”
My D18 only applied to 2, both were safeties, both had rolling admissions. She was done by September. Is one rolling? If not I might add one more safety.
My D16 applied to one school that had rolling admission. If she hadn’t gotten in, she would’ve finished her other applications, but she got in and was done. She was stressed out and just wanted the process over.
^^ ditto what 4gsmom said. D applied to one, rolling. If she didn’t get in, then she’d go through the process of applying to others. She received her acceptance in late September and now is done. Deposit paid this past weekend.
Thanks for all the help and thoughtful responses. Her safety would probably be her #1 choice it it weren’t for the fact that it’s only one town away and her father works there. Affordability is decent and she’s well-qualified (she’s already volunteered in and had a paid internship in two different science labs there). The school (UMass Amherst) ranks high on the LGBT pride index, which is also important for her/us. So if it comes down to UMass or UMass, she’s still in great shape.
I just don’t know if I’m being overly cautious and protective of her emotional state in all of this. But, of course, isn’t that a big part of the parenting equation, whatever the subject?
@lynnski My DS went 8 miles down the road to the state university - he lived in a dorm and while we were only 8 miles away, it might as well have been 100’s - he got the going away experience he was seeking. I have a very good friend who works at the same Univ, when her DD headed off to college 3 years ago to the same place Mom worked, the parents insisted she move to a dorm. Their DD resisted but they insisted, similar to my experience, it might as well have been 100 miles for as often as she saw her kid.
Turns out she applied to 4 schools at the last possible moment. No EA or rolling admissions for this kid! She was admitted to her safety and her match, but neither of her two reaches. I expect we’ll spend the rest of April visiting and deciding between two strong alternatives. She got good FA packages at both schools, but one is private and the other is public, so it may all come down to $$$ in the end.
