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<p>Hi, would you mind taking a look in my essay? I really need help!
I would appreciate any comments!
Is some parts of my essay off topic?
Is the essay too long? The character limit is 9600 and I tried to tell more and more specificlly abot myself.
Thanks!:)
Topic: Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.(The rest of the essay is posted as comments)</p>

<p>My lifetime goal is to invent cost-effective technologies to treat smog in developing countries with tight budget. This thought instilled in me every day I was attending high school in China and now rooted in me so firmly that it became a dream that would make my life most motivated and meaningful.
During a lunch time in China, I refreshed myself by working out and taking a shower as usual in a fitness club where air filtering system was installed. However, on my way back to school by bicycle, black, suffocating smog emitted from buses and the opaque, foul air dirtied me, forming a layer of black particulate inside my nose. It was as if they were reminding me that exposure to air pollution was unavoidable. Once I stepped into the classroom, hearing constant short coughing and blowing noses of classmates, I instantly frowned at malodor and humid air. My classmates – my good caring friends who usually would vivaciously greet at me and warn me not to walk around with wet hair to prevent from catching cold- were sleeping or quietly preparing for the class on their desks.
In Jinan where my high school is located, the healthy habit of ventilating becomes harmful during winters due to worsened air pollution. The school playground, our place to exercise and keep us exuberant, becomes desolated because of pollutants in the air.
According to a 2007 World Bank Report, air pollution in China is serious to the extent of causing 400,000 premature deaths a year, and The Environmental Protection Bureau of China stated that the main sources of air pollutions in China are factories, power plants and cars. Despite of its harmful effects to people, the environmental degradation continues because for a country with ambition for rapid economic growth in spite of its tight budget, existing technologies cannot help it much due to their high price.
In the classroom, I felt sorry for my classmates and teachers who drew me out from homesickness and provided me with the second warm home but now who are breathing in filthy air. My concerns for them together with my keen interest in Chemistry have drawn my attention to chemical engineers working to make our blue skies clearer, and now I am determined to be one of them.</p>

<p>To accomplish my goal, I worked hard academically.
Now, I succeed in chemistry class and the other science classes, getting the highest scores in Chemistry and Physics exams among the class of 2015. I not only put huge effort on Chemistry, but also have fervent passion for it. I continuously ask questions in Chemistry and get the answers, a process that thrills me to my bones.
This habit contributes to my devoting chemistry teacher, Mr. Xue.</p>

<p>On my arrival at Shan Dong No.7 High School in China, I was the worst student in Chemistry because I had received foreign education which had provided me with less intensified chemistry curriculum compared to that of China so far. I was despondent whenever reading chemistry textbook because the materials required more knowledge I knew in order to understand. When I realized that I could not follow up class only with my own effort, I went to Mr. Xue, my chemistry teacher, for help. Delightfully, he answered any questions by spending almost four hours every weekday during my first semester in the school. Understanding a piece of information either by myself or with Mr. Xue’s help after brooding for so long is always breathtaking for me. Little by little, the textbook was filled with my extra explanation, and my knowledge in Chemistry was progressed with firm foundation. I remember that it was a weekend few days before the midterm exam in a frosty dormitory room. When I was reviewing the chemistry text book, the information slithered into my head without any hindrance, making me breathing the cold air as refreshing as ever. As I went further, I was feeling excitement and fervent blood boiling in me. Finally, at the moment I finished, I burst out crying.
With tears of happiness, I was amazed that I actually understood this book which frustrated and intimidated me for so long. With this magical experience, not only could I shake off my fear in chemistry but I also gained passion for it. Studying with Mr. Xue, I witness that no matter how hard chemistry is, the hardship would ultimately pay off with the sweetest and faithful rewards. This lesson also encouraged me to challenge SAT subject test in chemistry later. I believe that this spirit that Mr. Xue gifted me would help me to persevere in challenges in the field of Chemistry and eventually to find out brilliant formulas for air pollution.</p>

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<p>On top of chemistry, I felt the need to be familiar with Chinese politics, history and geography to make immense environmental projects in China possible and effective. Not only I studied hard on these subjects in school, but I also read newspapers and worked hard in student union to understand China in depth. Working as vice president of student union’s studying department and my class as well as president of international student’s union familiarized myself with Chinese culture and management style, invaluable experiences for when actually realizing my dream to strip off the toxic gray shroud in China.
Also, I thought that leadership and communication skills were indispensable for engineers too because most of them conduct researches in group, and they have to persuade sponsors to invest in projects. I developed these skills in Jinan No. 7 high school by being a representative in various organizations mentioned above, also being a leader in my band, giving speech and teaching English in school twice a week for the last two activities. Ups and downs I have faced as a leader helped me perfect my leadership skills such as respect for others, persistence, prudence and eloquence.
I started giving speech from the last week of my sophomore year. Mr. Wang, who helped me a lot since I came to the Shan Dong No.7 High School, asked me to share my experiences with his class about how I as a foreigner achieved the highest score on the latest final exam. After my speech, everyone with excited smiles applauded me to the echo. I was in daze at that moment because of too much talking as well as because of the thrilling atmosphere toward me. During the following summer vacation, I could not shake off the exhilaration so that I asked Mr. Wang as soon as the school began to give me more chances to address in his class. After few weeks of speaking to Wang’s class every Monday, the news about this activity was spread across the school, and many teachers asked me to give lectures to their classes too. As a result, I could develop my presentation skills twice a week during my entire junior year, experiencing the thrill at the same time. Every lecture helped me figure out my own style in giving speeches and solidified it to become more powerful and concise. I still find myself imperfect in presentation. However, with my promised chances to continue the lecture during the second semester of my senior year, I believe that the skills will advance enough to support my dream to become a preeminent engineer.
Lastly, I studied English hard not only in class but also in my dormitory alone for future education in U.S., waking up before anybody else in the dormitory room. Getting up early can be tormenting sometimes because of lack of sleep or because of extreme cold in the room during winters. However, these pains would be worthwhile for they would provide me with the opportunities to study in the worldly acknowledged Artie McFerrin Department of Chemical Engineering. Along with its excellent faculties and enthusiastic educational atmosphere, I appreciate diverse opportunities it provides such as its active chapter of American Institute of Chemical Engineering, various undergraduate researches and intern programs to help students build up wide perspectives and experiences in the field. In addition, I believe that Texas A&M University’s great contribution to improving the environment- proved by Energy Systems Laboratory (ESL) in the university’s system- would cultivate me to realize my dream to improve the environment.
Becoming an Aggie does not only mean receiving excellent education, but also mean immersing myself in a society with great environmental awareness. Texas is home of numerous environmental organizations one of which that draws my interest the most is Advanced Filtration System(AFS); AFS specializes in commercial air purification systems and innovative waste to energy program. In such society, I would constantly find questions about treating air pollution and get answers, being stimulated as ever just like studying with Mr. Xue.
Another benefit for being an Aggie is to be able to engage myself with diverse and excellent athletics teams. Texas A&M University has nationally recognized sports records. Since 8th grade, I have exercised every day in gym. Just like a magic, exercise has helped me overcome any hardships in my life. This habit always dispelled my sorrow and loneliness when I was studying abroad. During very first few weeks in the United States as an exchange student, I felt like a fish out of water; I could not speak English well and I had to live with another family of entirely different culture. Even though people were very friendly, there were awkward and intimidating moments for me. However, while running on a treadmill and lifting weights, I could cast off those embarrassing situations and gain exciting confidence. Moreover, playing volley ball in Health Opportunities through Physical Education class was great time to make friends easily. The opportunities that sports presented me during those first few weeks ultimately made my whole year in the country an unforgettable, wonderful experience. I believe that joining active and strong sports team in Texas A&M University would lead me to another success in the United States.</p>