<p>DS has asked us to review his essays. As I read them, I'm not seeing anything unique or that introduces 'him'. For example, the last one I read was about a challenge. He chose to write about AP European History. Basically, it was hard and challenging, the reading was dry but he overcame that by taking notes while he read and talking to the teacher. He learned to think in a big picture to see how events in one part of the world affected events in another part. The essay is well written from a grammatical, spelling and sentence structure standpoint but, it's boring. He does well on writing tests - he got 5s on the three AP tests that he's taken that require a lot of writing (Euro, English Lang, and US History). The thing that really jumped out at me was that basically any kid that took AP Euro could have written the same essay - there was nothing unique to his experience.</p>
<p>I can see it's difficult to write something interesting and unique in 250 words while still answering the prompt.</p>
<p>Am I overreacting? If not, does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can say to him to make him understand my point about writing something that conveys something unique to him?</p>
<p>I think it is important that some aspect of the kid’s personality come through in the essay. Boring isn’t necessarily bad, (my STEM kid wrote about robotics, including some kind of special wheels and other “exciting” things most people would not be interested in, but he was applying for STEM programs and was accepted everywhere he applied), but if it’s really true that anyone in the class could have written it, that’s not good.</p>
<p>What does your S think of the essay? It sounds like an essay a kid thinks will appeal to a college admissions person. It doesn’t sound dry so much as humorless and overly sincere. I know my D angsted over the “unique” aspect, but it really doesn’t have to be unique so much as “you.” If AP Euro was the course he loved because it really challenged him, then he should tell that story.</p>
<p>I always told the kids to take the prompt and twist it in some way to make their response unique. But really if that is him, if that is who he is, then it’s authentic and I think that is also important.</p>
<p>Stradmom, I agree with that approach…writing as if you were telling your friends the story. I’ve suggested that approach also.</p>
<p>I’m just worried that he thinks the most challenging thing in his life has been a high school course. I think the colleges are looking for something more significant. It could very well be that the course he wrote about was “the thing” but maybe he could write about how his struggle affected him personally. What did he learn about himself? If it is something anyone in the class could have written, then he missed the point of the prompt.</p>
<p>Thanks for all of the ideas. The essays really are dry and boring and he’s not a boring kid. He has an interesting sense of humor, but he’s more of a technical writer than a creative writer. Unfortunately he gets that from me. </p>
<p>To answer a few of the points, he really hasn’t had a challenging life. I’ve been worried about this essay since we first started this whole process. Most of the applications have an essay question along these lines and he really hasn’t faced anything. No problems at home, no moves, no divorces, no job losses, no losses of people close to him, never had any problems in school (straight A student, no discipline issues), no illness or injuries other than slamming his thumb in the car door. He’s involved in sports which really take more practice than overcoming a challenge. The only other challenge I can think of is coaching his younger sister in MathCounts. I guess we’ve made life too easy for him. </p>
<p>He is applying to competitive schools - MIT, JHU, UVA, Duke, Ga Tech… - he’s interested in biomedical engineering. English has never been been his strongest class but he manages to pull off As.</p>
<p>The essay did address how he had to change his way of thinking about history classes from just memorizing events and dates to learning how events interact and broader thinking. It wasn’t quite as bad as I summarized but I didn’t want to include his entire essay here.</p>
<p>I’ll try the suggestion of pretending he’s talking to a friend. He resists any of our suggestions (never mind the fact that we’ve been through this 5 times between us) so I tried to get him to take his essays to his guidance counselor. He likes her and she has been a great resource so far but he doesn’t want to do that either.</p>
<p>Thanks for the input - maybe we’ll get him in somewhere.</p>
<p>Agree with the above. You need to get a third party involved. Hopefully that’s the GC, but a teacher, family friend, or independent counselor might work too. If you think they are dry and boring, imagine how they will read to someone who (1) doesn’t love your son and (2) has just read 300 of these in a row on a gray night in February.</p>
<p>I reread what I wrote and I want to clarify something. He has challenged himself on many occasions. When given the opportunity, he always takes the harder path. He’s the first kid in the history of his high school (it was opened the year he was born) to take differential equations - they have taken 4 months, so far, trying to figure out how much credit to give him because they’ve never had to make that decision before. He could have stayed at his home school but he chose to go to a science/technology magnet school for half days. He has worked hard but hasn’t found anything significantly “challenging”. To be honest, having been around him when he took AP Euro, he didn’t really find it challenging, he loved it. He adored the teacher and, once he realized it was more than memorization, he loved the subject matter. I just wanted clarify that he has never taken the easy way out; he has challenged himself at every point but hasn’t felt truly challenged yet. The harder things get, the better he seems to do. Taking college level courses at the magnet school has caused him to just do better.</p>
<p>Now that you’ve clarified, I think his essay might be okay at least in its basics. He may want to make it a little less serious/academic, while still keeping the same basic message. I don’t think it’s the end of the world if a science guy doesn’t sound like an English major.</p>
<p>Another trick is to tell the kids to look up the definition of challenge…that can get them going sometime. Or switch the perspective of the ‘challenge.’ I can’t remember which kid of mine wrote about landing his first king Salmon…somewhat from the Salmon’s perspective (S3). Course mind aren’t in MIT but… it can also be something mundane, we’ve all had the mundane challenge…like getting up in the early morning in the dark when it’s sleeting and miserable and our bed is so warm and the car is so cold (S2) …so it does not have to be an athletic challenge or an educational challenge in the first definition of the word and 250 words is SHORT…which is in and of itself challenging. All three of mind had to cut their draft in half.</p>
<p>My son had a really tough time a few years ago on the 5th essay for MIT. I think it was something about overcoming adversity. He admitted that he had been lucky to have an easy childhood and then turned it into something creative and funny. He didn’t get accepted, but only 9% make the final cut. </p>
<p>At this point it’s really great that OP’s son has essays completed. He may opt to continue refinement a little longer. Or not. But he’s not in the no-essay-yet agony facing many college applicants this week.</p>
<p>patesq, your son sounds a lot like mine. I don’t think he had to specifically write a “challenge” essay, though. Is this the main common app essay and that’s the prompt he chose? Perhaps he should choose a different prompt. My son and I had the same discussion about nothing being challenging, on either a personal level or an academic level. Does he have a hobby that doesn’t come naturally to him? I really do think colleges at that level want to see something unique about that student, even if he throws in a touch of humor or something. Good luck!</p>
<p>EDIT: Oh, if it’s an MIT-specific essay no wonder my son didn’t do it. He took one look at MIT’s application and decided he didn’t want to go there! :D</p>
<p>How about writing about coaching his younger sister in MathCounts? Coaching a sibling in anything is usually a challenge in and of itself. And it’s very personal.</p>
<p>This is one of the 5 MIT essays - they have 5 short essays, about 250 words. Someone mentioned an essay of this short length is challenging and I agree. I did one as an example to show him what I meant by making it a little more interesting and it’s tough to keep it that short. Unfortunately no options to choose another topic. It’s so competitive for the schools he really wants that he needs to do something that at least keeps the readers awake.</p>
<p>I can’t remember what his common app essay was - he’s taking the lead on all of this (as he should) so we just review what he sends. At least he finally starting sending the prompts so we know what he’s trying to answer. </p>
<p>I tried to convince him to write about the challenge of wrangling a team of middle school MathCounts kids (he has coached the team for 4 years now) but I couldn’t talk him into that one. That even has the extra challenge of him having to coach his little sister. And these are siblings that don’t get along terribly well!</p>
<p>Curiousmother, I must have composed my message while you were posting. I even did a sample one for him tonight although I don’t think he’ll take me up on it.</p>
<p>Because your kid is such an amazing math whiz, is there a unique angle to his efforts at mastering history? Does his math brain see connections in historical events that others don’t see? Is that what he was getting at with having to make connections? What might that look like to someone so good at math? Maybe there’s something funny or comical in a Math Nerd Does Napoleon kind of way to to spice up the essay? (Not saying your guy’s a nerd, or anything…)</p>
<p>But do pat him on the back for having a draft done! That’s terrific.</p>