<p>Thank you cbw123! But, look at the second resume I posted. That is how it looks on my CommonApp :)</p>
<p>31 ACT is low for all of those except GW.</p>
<p>You certainly have a lot of stuff. It almost looks like your trying too hard.</p>
<p>Bump!!!</p>
<p>BUMP!!! please</p>
<p>You seem to be spread thin. Everything is impressive though. I have no idea how the hell you fit that all on common app though because you can only list 10 activities. I would say you have a good shot at all of the schools, and by that I mean high match/low reach for most of them.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1603723-predict-my-results-will-chance-back-immediately.html#post16818487[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1603723-predict-my-results-will-chance-back-immediately.html#post16818487</a></p>
<p>If I were an admissions officer reading your list I would find it incredible. Unfortunately I mean that literally, as in “not credible.”</p>
<p>For instance, you state that you were, in the same year, the manager of the varsity soccer team, the assistant coach of the JV team and the head coach of the 3rds team. Either it’s not true or one or more of these positions was solely titular. During the same year(s) you were competing in both multiple basketball tournaments and multiple out of state robotics competitions. Given that they both occur during the winter season I don’t see how this could be possible.</p>
<p>If this resume came across my desk I’d better be able to google you and find you in a whole lot of team pictures with trophies in your hand…</p>
<p>Check out this video-
<a href=“Erinn Andrews, Former Stanford Admissions Officer, Video Case Study #2 - YouTube”>Erinn Andrews, Former Stanford Admissions Officer, Video Case Study #2 - YouTube;
<p>Actually, I do worry about that. You see, I had to do Robotics and basketball at the sane time :/. Sometimes I would Miss basketball games to go to a competetion, and vice Versa. Me and one of my friend both had to do this. We didn’t want to quit one to go to the other. Also, I was able to be a Thirds coach, an assistant to the JV, and manager of the Varsity because the JV and Thirds would practice together. The JV coach let me train both JV and Thirds players. If there a JV game, I would go as an assistant. If there was a 3rds game, I would go as a head coach. They rarely was a 3rds and a JV game on the same day. Same goes for Varsity. The Varsity coach wanted me to be the manager. Most of their games were on weekends, so I was able to Attend most of them without missing any JV or 3rds practices.</p>
<p>Does that make sense?</p>
<p>A little tough love here. Since you’ve already sent in your application it’s really for kids reading this who are still in the process of applying.</p>
<p>Who are you? A basketball player? A coach? A Scientist? A librarian? A singer? What do you care about? Law enforcement? Children in Africa? The environment? Student government? You present such a muddled picture of yourself that I can’t get a clear picture of you as a person. The strongest EC lists present a pattern. Admissions officers should be able to remind each other of who you are with a few words. “Sergiok? He’s the basketball robotics kid from CT who wants to be a doctor.”</p>
<p>Ironically, I think having so much on your resume hurts you. Sometimes less is more. For instance, for your junior year you would have been better off listing that you were the head coach of the 3rds soccer team and leaving out any work you did with the JV and varsity. Had I simply seen 3rds listed I would have thought, “Wow, they trusted this kid to run a whole team? Impressive!” You might even have written an essay on the challenges of coaching your peers. Instead I look at your application and think, “Clearly if he had time to work with all 3 teams he wasn’t really in charge of the 3rds team. What else is he fudging?”</p>
<p>The same issue crops up in your basketball experience. Captain your senior year? Great. Captain your junior year? Wow. Highly unusual. Captain your sophomore year? Hmm. Now I’m starting to wonder. The only way I could see this happening would be if you were such a superstar player that your peers voted you in. Then I see from your “leading bench scorer” award that you didn’t start your junior year and I begin to suspect that half the team gets named captain. All of a sudden that captainship senior year no longer looks so great, and since you wrote “captain”, not co-captain I also suspect that you’ve fudged other things on your resume. The other thing I’m wondering is, “If this kid is such a basketball stud, why isn’t he being recruited?” Something doesn’t add up.</p>
<p>Please note that I am not accusing you of lying on your EC list. I am cautioning you that you could easily appear to be lying, however.</p>
<p>Other entries in your EC list raise little red flags. For instance, you say you’re a member of the ALA. What were you doing in the ALA? Aside from the fact that all you had to do to join was to send in a check, the ALA is a professional group for librarians. It is not meant for high school students.</p>
<p>The National Academy of Future Physicians and Medical Scientists is like Who’s Who. It’s not really an honor, just a way to get money out of students. Do a search for it on CC.</p>
<p>Please do not list every little one hour volunteer job you ever did. Handing out flyers? Is that really what you want the committee to remember about you? Would you want to be the “flyer kid”? </p>
<p>Accelerate reader quiz-taking? Aside from the fact that I’ve never heard of this, it’s the kind of thing which, even if won, people leave off their resumes. (p.s., I just googled it and found pictures of high school students reading Dr. Seuss books. Ow. Now you’ve gone from “Flyer kid” to “E-Z reader” in my mind.)</p>
<p>Visiting your state Senator and Rep? My kid did that on a field trip in 4th grade. Leave it out! Same with donating money, visiting sponsors, and any volunteer job that absorbed less that a day of your time. Again, do you want admissions officers to picture you on the basketball court or picking up trash at the rotary?</p>
<p>4th place in the intramural soccer tournament? Why would you want to include things like this? Cut the intramural stuff. They already know you’re an athlete!</p>
<p>I could go on but I think I’ve battered you enough. Sorry about that. Clearly you’re a kid whose involved in a lot. I just think you could have presented yourself in a clearer fashion. Restraint is good, Grasshopper.</p>
<p>Sue22, thank you so much for your Advice. I really appreciate it. However, I took out things like ALA, İntramuel sports, and the Accelrated reading things. I posted two resumes on this thread. I didn’t include these things on My CommonApp because I found stupid in a way. They took up too much space.</p>
<p>I would dramatically edit this list…“Passed out invitations for a Thanksgiving Dinner held at our school” ? C’mon…these applications aren’t a chance to note every effort made since puberty…bring it down to 6 or 7 key items…and show your drive and passion…otherwise, it’s just a blur of “can’t this kid focus?”</p>