<p>I’m in many, actually, of varying levels of intimacy. Filial, platonic, professional- basically every stripe except romantic. Kinda annoys me when people use the word to exclusively describe unions of that nature, as by definition it encompasses all of human interaction. And doing so implicitly reveals a rather specious priority system, IMO. </p>
<p>Okay, I’m done being insufferable now :P. To answer your actual question, nah. I believe in Rilke’s conception of love: cultivated solitude as a prerequisite to sharing and fortifying solitudes (which defines true interpersonal connection). </p>
<p>Also, @emenya, glad your dating life has been going well and I wish you the best of luck with the soccer girl. That said, I feel obligated to point out:
Lesbianism isn’t rooted in thinking “all guys are jerks.” It’s a valid, innate sexual orientation just like any other.
This comment may seem innocuous, but the underlying line of thought is actually quite toxic- it demeans lesbian sexuality as illegitimate and propagates the erroneous idea that most lesbians can be “cured” by a positive experience with men. This is harmful enough. But even more terribly, it’s used to justify countless atrocities and “corrective rape”'s of gay women around the globe (if you are unfamiliar with this term, I suggest you read this chilling article: <a href=“Op-ed: The Other Ex-Gay 'Therapy'”>Op-ed: The Other Ex-Gay 'Therapy'). </p>
<p>The “the nice guy” converting the lesbian is a myth as well and isn’t something to revel in or an accomplishment to be proud of (that fetishistic, objectifying attitude also feeds the above). The girl you dated was probably sexually fluid to begin with. And for future reference: what you call “giving up” is more accurately 'respecting someone’s sexual orientation as valid." </p>
<p>I mean this all as constructively as possible, of course. It is simply important to point out these things given the rampant patriarchal and homophobic forces our community is subject to. </p>
<p>Relationships? I don’t have time for that. I’ve got places to be, things to do, tests to prepare for, club meetings to organize, classes to ace. Oh, but I do believe that I am in love. Is that what this heart-racing, sweaty-palm feeling is? It is the feeling that I only get when the grading period comes to a close, or when seven kind "A"s come to greet me, or when the test proctor says those three bold words, “You may begin.” I am in love with high school. Or maybe that’s just adrenaline… </p>
<p>(I’m on a gap year now, but) I dated the same person two different times in freshman year, and then was in a long-term and relationship with a guy a couple grades above me for two and a half years. We continued dating long-distance when he went to college. It was a friendly end and I’m glad to be single because, as others have said, I have too many things going on right now. Plus, I want to be single when I go to college. So many new people O.O</p>
<p>@abstract1 Thank you for that. I also want to start off in saying that in no way I was trying to promote an air of revelry or dominance by what I posted. I did not mean it that way at, had never thought like that before and apologize if it came out that way. I think what you referenced before as sexual fluidity is a more apt description of her. (Correct me if I’m wrong it’s called bisexual right. I don’t want to be totally ignorant here so please correct me if that’s not the right term.) </p>
<p>The insight that you provided is something I hadn’t taken into account and I want to thank you for that. Trust me, what I wrote in no way was meant to offend or be synonymous with the actions of the disgusting article that you posted. If you could inform more men about this, the world would be a better place. Well I assume you already are; I need to do this. I don’t think I can stress how sorry I am if I offended anyone and thank you again for your post. Again, I am sincerely sorry. I don’t want anyone to think I’m making an apology simply to make an apology. I really do mean what I write and am sorry for coming off as a person who has a complete disregard to a women’s feelings and philosophies. I do not have homophobic tendencies at all, and I apologize for displaying a misguied insensitivity in my previous post.</p>
<p>@emenya Well, bisexuality is a form of sexual fluidity; there’s also people who are mostly heterosexual (those who are mainly attracted to opposite-sex partners but occasionally find same-sex people attractive) and its counterpart, people who are mostly homosexual (attracted mainly to same-sex people but find opposite-gender folks attractive every now and again). Bisexuality’s in the middle of those two but these are just three parts of a whole spectrum. </p>
<p>And now, we return to the main focus of the thread.</p>
<p>@emenya, apology fully accepted; no hard feelings what so ever. I am sure it was not your intention to hurt or to perpetuate any of those harmful attitudes. Many people are unaware of such broader implications- not because they’re homophobic or malevolent in any way- but simply because they haven’t been informed. My purpose was to educate, not to reprimand. </p>
<p>Thank you for taking the time to reflect and learn. I must say I am touched by your sincere response and that you have genuinely grown from this experience. It takes a lot of courage to do so and not succumb to knee-jerk defensiveness. The world would be far a better place if more people react to these issues with the sensitivity you have </p>
<p>And yes, it is called being bisexual- although some people prefer other terms (sexual fluidity, pansexual). The best way to find out is usually just to ask them. </p>
<p>I’ve been in a relationship for the past 2 and half years, so my entire time in high school and part of middle school as well. I love my boyfriend and have never dated anyone else, but of course realize the instability of a high school relationship. I have no misconceptions of what may happen in the future even though things have been pretty much great so far. It’s really nice having that support that you know will always be there for you.</p>
<p>I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now. He lives in Minnesota and is a few years older than me. Long distance relationships are hard, definitely. We are very compatible and very in love and very certain of our relationship. I havent seen him since spring break of last year, and plan on visiting again this spring break. He is one of the reasons U of Minn is my top choice. I applied last month and hope to receive a decision soon;all I know is I am going to be devastated if I dont get accepted but he thinks it is ridiculous that I have any doubt towards my acceptance. </p>
<p>I had a “boyfriend” last year, but I don’t think you could really call it that. He was so much more immature than me, and the relationship wasn’t really worth it. My opinion now, is that you shouldn’t look for a relationship, if it happens great, if not, it’s just high school. Plus it’s more assuring since you know even if you dated the relationship probably wouldn’t last past high school.</p>
<p>I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I feel like I need to know who I am before I can actually be in a relationship with someone else, and I’m still figuring myself out. Contradicting my previous statement, I kinda do want one, but I feel like I like the idea of being in a relationship more than I like all the guys I’ve had a crush on in the past.</p>
<p>Well, fairly recently, my best friend and I confessed that we both like each other. Well, I went to her house yesterday and we cuddled, held hands, kissed each other on the cheek/nose, and we hugged a lot. We aren’t officially ‘together’ but it’ll be that way soon. ;)</p>
<p>Meanwhile, a good friend of mine who I “sort of” dated freshman year (read: the most relationship-type thingy we did together was hold hands) for about…three months, I think?..anyway, he asked me out again. So there’s that.</p>
<p>@ThatPurpleKoala, that seems nice xD I also dated my best friend in Freshman year, but we decided to stay bestfriends and now it’s Junior year and it’s working out. :D</p>
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