<p>I'd say happiness, like any feeling, is transient. However, on the whole I would say I'm happy. I'm happy because I enjoy challenges and being determined, and since I started playing footbag (hacky sack) over a year ago, I've always had goals that, while difficult, can be reached with effort. This isn't to say school isn't that way, but something more tangible just really helps.</p>
<p>can someone please give me tips on being happier and having a better mindset? i know that sounds crappy, but i'm serious.</p>
<p>Laugh at yourself. Seriously...when I feel like I'm taking life a bit too seriously, I like to take a step back and just laugh at all the dumb things I'm doing. Sometimes, life is too ludicrous to NOT laugh at.</p>
<p>Temporarily happy, yes. Have decent grades at the end of the semester, got into the college I want to, feeling good, working out, have more girls that want to go out with me than I ever have (and some that want to be everything but comitted), am about to go out to dinner with my closest friends to celebrate one of their 18th, turning 18 myself soon, in good terms with my parents, etc. So yeah, I'm feeling happy. Does that mean something won't come along tomorrow and **** it all up for me? No. Does that mean I'm a shallow dude because all these things make me happy? Nah, but I'm just taking everything for what it is, and right now, its great.</p>
<p>Nope, not happy. But whatever, college will be better.</p>
<p>As I've gotten older I have become less happy. High school was happy. No big worries. In college there are a lot of worries...presentations, lab reports, grades, internships, money, etc. When those don't mix well complete happiness is impossible. Also, by nature I am not really an optimist. It seems like every good thing that has happened to me is accompanied with a bad thing or follows bad thing. Example: Good: I got into an Ivy League school. Bad: parents can't pay a dime to help out with direct costs. Good: I have a strong GPA in an engineering program. Bad: I had to leave the Ivy after two years and transfer before getting that strong GPA.</p>
<p>But overall I am content with my situation and thankful for what I have because many other people in the world are a lot less fortunate. Right now the main cause of my "unhappiness" is not knowing what my purpose in life is. Yes, I'll get an engineering degree and work in industry but is that it for me? I feel like I am capable of taking on a position of great responsibility but I have no idea what it is.</p>
<p>Of course. There is no reason NOT to be happy. Seriously. People can whine all about how "LIFE IS FUTILE, PEOPLE ARE EVIL, THE WORLD IS A TERRIBLE PLACE" but getting all depressed about it doesn't make the world any better. Plus, if people say life is bad... compared to WHAT? Life is everything, so it simply IS.</p>
<p>I for one prefer to enjoy myself.</p>
<p>EDIT: Just reading over the entries above... I am shocked by how much people are mentioning school stuff. There is more to life than grades and test scores, damn.</p>
<p>good thread, btw. </p>
<p>to answer your question, i'm not happy with my life and the world in general, but i rely on my strengths to deal with it. i constantly ask myself how i can make the situation better, even though i find it hard to act on my proposals. it's all a very trying experience.</p>
<p>history competition (national history day) is probably the only thing that provides stability in my life...when i'm down, i know i always have nhd to look forward to. i've been doing it since 6th grade, and it's become an important part of my life over the years. competition season is always a thrill.</p>
<p>"Plus, if people say life is bad... compared to WHAT? Life is everything, so it simply IS."</p>
<p>compared to what it could be or could have been.</p>
<p>I am happy. Achievements and failures dont mean that much. I am happy because i have been able to do soo much the alst 4 years of life. Its been a roller coaster ride. my life.</p>
<p>I think some people need to understand that everyone leads a different life and what is important to me may not be to someone else. For example, school and grades are very important and success/failure in school play a big part in my happiness. Why? First of all, my whole life for the past few years has been college and internships. Also, because succeeding in school will eventually allow me to do the work that I like to do, work that gives me a sense of purpose in my life and provide financial stability. There is no happiness without purpose. Some people can be happy with not going to college and working any old job they come across but many are not. Example, my mom has been doing clerical work for over 20 years (non college education) and for the most part, has hated it. She isn't qualified for anything else and since she lives paycheck to paycheck there is no money leftover for anything else...such as trying to get some kind of extra training and education. She is constantly stressed out about work and paying bills, and I fear this will lead to an early death (her parents died young at 65 years of age). So, as a result of my upbringing, success in school and in my career will be among the main factors affecting my happiness. When I feel like I am failing in these areas I start to think about how hard my parents work to survive and I don't want that kind of life.</p>
<p>I am happy. I applied to excellent schools (Stanford, Harvard, Dart, Amherst, UCB, UCLA...) with my pretty good stats, but now I realize I could go to Tahiti or Tavarua and work small jobs while living in a hut and surfing everyday. Life is too short to waste my friends...way too short. This was the message in my essays, and I definitely live by it.</p>
<p>Being happy or unhappy is not wrong or right in my mind. I really dislike it when people say they hate when people whine about being unhappy. I'm a pretty firm believer that, until you are in their shoes just speak for yourself. </p>
<p>Perspective can make you happier. I mean having a good attitude, etc. But those aren't things you change overnight. I think we all want to be happy, so if there was a way wouldn't we all try to find it? Some people try the good attitude thing but it doesn't work for them...</p>
<p>I don't know. I sort of struggle with this. It's weird because I wouldn't change a thing about my choices and actions in my life and yet I don't know if I'm "happy". Not to mention, while attitude to a degree is chosen, a lot of it has to do with your brain chemicals and other things you can't control. </p>
<p>I get depressed with the negative stuff at life. Sometimes I wonder what is more "right": to see the bad (even if it makes you depressed) adn try to change it (though you never can completely) or to ignore the bad (and not let it bring you down). I have always done more of the former, but often it seriously depresses me. I don't know. Is it selfish to try to ignore to an extent, still help of course) the bad so as not to be unhappy yourself? </p>
<p>Plus, happiness in itself is so subjective. Religions and feelings of God and so forth make some people happy. Being without conviction when it comes to religion and spirituality, I am confused by my purpose. I'm just rambling I guess. </p>
<p>I think always thinking of the big picture helps and reminding yourself that you seriously are in the same mystery as everyone else and no one is any better off when it comes down tjudging things (cause there is no better). </p>
<p>Some people seem to be happy people by nature. Some aren't. Some try and try to be happy and only reach a haphazard happiness, contentness in the sense that you wouldn't do anything different and yet your emotions perhaps are heavy. Guess it all depends.</p>
<p>I'd be alot happier if I could get this damn guitar part for Here Comes the Sun down, but in general yes.</p>
<p>It also bothers me when someone tries to tell me that I "should" be happy, or that I have no reason NOT to be. Its not like I make a conscious effort to not be happy, or ignore steps which may lead to my happiness. As someone said before about themself, looking back at my life I don't think I would have done anything different. </p>
<p>I would like to think that what I am going through now will maybe, in some sort of convoluted way, set up my happiness later in life. And, if you're curious, this has absolutely nothing to do with grades or SATs or anything like that. </p>
<p>While I certainly feel for those greatly affected by those facets of high school life, I am proud to say that I have been able to handle them in such a way that they have not ruled my life or determined by happiness.</p>
<p>"Tell me something, you ever dance with the devil by the pale moonlight?" Go out there and have some fun. Come on--happiness is contagious...You won't regret a thing...</p>
<p>To the person who asked for tips on being happy:
It is extremely hard to pull yourself out of a bad space--particularly if you've been there for so long that you barely remember what it feels like to be happy. However, what you CAN do is minimize the things in your life that make it harder to be happy. This involves:
1. making sure you get enough sleep, enough to eat (and HEALTHY food), enough water, enough exercise, enough vitamins and minerals, etc. They say there's a strong connection between the body and mind, and I believe it. I mean, for example, you know that if you're overtired you'll take bad things harder than you would normally, so if you're already struggling with unhappiness or depression or anything, why make it worse than it already is?
2. avoid situations or activities or people that tend to make you unhappy, where possible. For example, if you know that talking to friend X always leaves you feeling extremely unhappy, be ruthless and avoid friend X as much as possible until your mood has stabilized. Or if you know that staying up all night on the internet will make you feel empty and useless, refrain from doing it. Engaging in activities that make you upset is a luxury you can afford only when you have spare happiness to spend. That is, only when you're already feeling good about yourself can you afford to risk jeopardizing that.</p>
<p>Basically, it comes down to doing all the things you know for sure will make you feel better, and avoiding doing all the things you know for sure will make you feel worse. There are always unexpected things, of course, but if you get rid of the known problems, you'll at least have fewer bad things to deal with.</p>
<p>Then, once you've maximized the good things and minimized the bad things, you have to focus on all the things that make you happy even momentarily and really try to hang onto the feeling or keep doing them over and over again. For example, if you know you get a happiness high from doing the daily crossword--shut up, dudes, I'm a word nerd--then fill your life with as many crosswords as possible, so that the high doesn't have time to wear off.</p>
<p>These are all things that affect you mostly in the short term. That's the way to do it, I think. It's too big a task to try to make yourself happy overall; instead, just focus your energy on making sure you feel happy RIGHT NOW. And if you try to do this all the time, you're at least stable enough that you can get something out of life.</p>
<p>Leonesa: It's not selfish to ignore the bad stuff. If you are unhappy and full of despair, you can't contribute as productively to society as you normally could, since you are distracted by your depressive thoughts and general malaise/apathy/helplessness/etc. So it's actually better to do whatever it takes to make sure you stay happy, so long as it doesn't involve directly harming other people. Not to say that you should ALWAYS ignore what's bad--you can't and you shouldn't--but you shouldn't let it take over your life so much that you can't do anything else. So if you find you sometimes need to put bad thoughts aside until you're better able to deal with them, why feel guilty about it? Nobody can think about the great tragedies of life ALL the time and still function; and just as it behoves you to enrich your life by being aware of the bad things, doesn't it also behove you to enrich your life by letting yourself experience those rare and elusive happy feelings?</p>
<p>happiness is an ideal; it cannot actually be reached. you can, however, approach happiness.</p>
<p>About being happy: </p>
<p>You don't seek it. On the path to understanding yourself, you gradually realize that it's starting to follow you. When I found that when my body does not physically hurt (a special place beneath my breastbone) it makes bad things easier to slide. </p>
<p>And it's about finding contentment/joy/fulfillment in all the little things. When I watch a heart-breaking film, when I laugh, when I see the dusk falling as I run, when I finish a near-perfect cadenza on my violin--that makes me happy, and that happiness that I feel is not trivial, and certainly not any less worthwhile than if I ace a test. </p>
<p>Find yourself, understands what makes you tick, eat and be merry and forget a little about growing up and being responsible and industrious. Happiness will come if you don't take your gun and seek to capture it.</p>
<p>Good point tebro.</p>