Are you raising your sons to be competent ivy league applicants?

<p>missypie -- your inequity story reminds me of our own. My daughter in 7th grade needed to make some sort of pre-historic tool. We went outside and picked a suitable branch and stone, along with twine and wax, to make a spear. The first branch/stone didn't turn out right, so she discarded it and picked another.</p>

<p>Her neighbor/best friend shows up toward the end of this 45 minute excercise and says "hey, that's a GREAT idea. Can I use the stuff you didn't want? So she made a far inferior spear. They turned them on to the SAME teach, different periods. Neighbor got an A with a smiley face, my daughter got a B.</p>

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Yep. Yep. Naught from naught. Carry your chillun' along. Divide by pi. Yep. Looks like we got another one over to the other side. We are gaining on them now. </p>

<p>Good job, Pizzagirl.

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<p>Well, that's because I'm a top 20 grad, you know. How else would I be smart enough to figure out that the meaning of life isn't getting into the top 20? :-)</p>

<p>You may not know it, but you're one of the ones whose posts have influenced me the most, curmudgeon!</p>

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<p>We prepared our kids to be responsible, caring, helpful, and courteous students. We encouraged them to pursue things that were of interest to them and helped guide them if needed. We strongly supported their passions.</p>

<p>We did not prepare our kids to go to ANY specific college or group of colleges. And at the age of 11, to be honest, we weren't thinking about college at all.</p>

<p>"I see a huge difference between talking about doing well in school, valuing doing one's best academically, stretching and pushing yourself towards your best efforts, being a lifelong learner, and being well-rounded by engaging in other pastimes ... and talking about "how you'll get into the Ivy League." </p>

<p>For me, all of that comes along with my son getting into the best college for him. For you, once upon a time it was a Top 20 school. Apparently, for the OP it's getting her son into an Ivy League school. Nothing wrong with any one of our choices. I won't point my finger at the OP and say don't do that. She may not have gotten to the point where she has been on here long enough to become better educated.</p>

<p>OP is not a parent. OP posts sometimes as a parent (both on parents forum and students forum) and sometimes as a student.</p>

<p>No, I never said that my only goal in parenting was to get my kids into a Top 20 school., and I absolutely have never conveyed Ivy-or-bust to them. I said that when I came on here, my considered-set was more along the Top 20 and from listening to posters here, I've learned more about fabulous schools that I wouldn't have known much about, and learned more about the importance of fit.</p>

<p>I was going to take another look at the OP's post, but since Oldfort has stated that the OP is not a parent, and may be a student), it's all moot at this point.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl: I never said you only wanted your kids in a Top 20 either. I did say that I have desired that my son know his options, and I have been letting him know them for a longer time than 11.</p>

<p>Pizzagirl: Excuse me, I see you wrote Top 20 "focused." If my response to you seemed as if I meant that you only wanted Top 20, this is my apology for not quoting you correctly.</p>

<p>So my 6' 3-1/2", 245 lb. junior lineman has a chance, eh? Even if he doesn't play much? A better chance than the Intel finalist? I believe it. Too bad the lineman doesn't like Ivy. At this point our main parental concern for college is an all-you-can-eat meal plan! :)</p>

<p>I could see a bright 11 yo thinking about colleges -- and which ones are in the news for attracting smart kids? Yup. I remember thinking about college when I was a 6th grader. Didn't know about the Ivy League, but did know about big universities and what I wanted to study.</p>

<p>I've posted this before so it won't shock anybody but I'll remind y'all that the truly unique child who used to live with me started keeping an expando folder of college info in the seventh grade wholly on her own. She was one scary determined kid. Wired funny but dang - she gets it done. I jumped on board spring break of 10th grade and off we went. It was loads of fun. Don't forget to enjoy the ride. It was a very happy time for me. I loved playing Tonto to her Lone Ranger. Garfunkel to her Simon. Bush to her Cheney. ;)</p>

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Are you raising your sons to be competent ivy league applicants?

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<p>Why would anyone want to do something like that?</p>

<p>A former co-worker of mine had a bright, motivated 11 year old who was interested in science and "how things worked". He is now 15 and hired escorts are coming at 5am tomorrow to take him to an in-patient treatment center. He is into drugs, skipped school for the last couple of weeks and is stealing from his family. Things can change........</p>

<p>^^</p>

<p>Well, is he Ivy-bound?</p>

<p>"So my 6' 3-1/2", 245 lb. junior lineman has a chance, eh? Even if he doesn't play much? A better chance than the Intel finalist? I believe it."</p>

<p>He'll need to bulk up - another 35 lbs will do. It doesn't matter - for an Ivy - if he doesn't play much. They can whip him into shape - provided he's got the weight.</p>

<p>I will beat my sons if they don't get into Ivy.</p>

<p>"I think the real key was HS. Both went to very good HS's where Ivies were assumed to be at the top of the college heap."</p>

<p>Yep.</p>

<p>Everyday in my work I see the chasm between the students from even the wealthier public schools and the students from excellent privates. There is no comparison. Now, I don't know the locale of the OP, so perhaps in that region there is not such a vast difference, or any difference. It's just consistently true in my region: the factory approach vs. the tailored approach. An emphasis on thoroughness. A demand for excellent writing. Etc. Class offerings which often include non-standard high school choices & which require originality in the product. </p>

<p>It produces, potentially, several things: a student with excellent preparation (competent), a student with an outstanding transcript (competitive), a student from a recognizable school for the Ivy League (competitive), a college application which reflects that excellence (competent & competitive).</p>

<p>(Some posters are answering how to be competitive vs. how to be competent. Competitive can include athletic recruit or consistent donor, & in those cases the difference between the public & private label disappear. I am sticking to the competence of the academics; most applicants will have to focus on the academics as the baseline.)</p>

<p>However, I wouldn't be focusing on Ivy League per se, because not everybody will be happy there, and most unhappy students do not benefit fully from their environment, whatever it is. So unless that student will be doing a lot of hanging out with students who were admitted because of reasons other than academics, it's important to know that the peers on campus will be mostly also extremely well prepared. It is a very selective bunch. Some people cannot get enough of that, whereas others value a variety of competencies because they find that that promotes a more interesting & less intimidating social mix. (Again, how happy you are socially can affect the perceived value at the end of that 4 years, & during it.)</p>

<p>Just some thoughts.....</p>

<p>Caillebotte!
;)</p>

<p>OP; for answers to your questions, you should read some of your & your other son's earlier posts. Also, you seem to be reading a lot of students essays too!</p>