<p>Today's Washington Post has a feature by a mother regarding her conflicted views as to whether her son should continue the family legacy by only applying to elite schools. She seems to make a very convincing case that unless one attends HYPSC or the little ivies or the Seven Sisters, that life won't be worth living (or at least she was raised to believe that.) Then she finished by questioning whether the pursuit of admissions "success" is the beginning step on the status treadmill. She says after 40 years she has found peace with that question but I'm not sure what her personal peace is--the son is now happily enrolled at U of Chicago. Here's the link: <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A61894-2005Jan9.html%5B/url%5D">www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A61894-2005Jan9.html</a></p>
<p>What I find really amusing is that this article is on the same page with a feature about reading The Great Books of the Western World where another author's stereotypes are confounded when the maintenance man at his school's library critiques the list of what the Great Books supposedly are. The custodian who speaks broken English, commends several of the works that are included on the list but expresses dismay that Nietzsche and Schopenhauer are omitted. The author realizes that he has made some poor assumptions about opportunities and experiences. Wonder if the custodian might have gone to Swarthmore???</p>
<p>I thought "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" when I read the article. If a person (or his family) defines success as admission to social clubs and circles reserved for HYPSC graduates, then yes, getting admitted to one of the select schools is that necessary first step. There is more than one way to skin the "success" cat, however, which is great news for the 90% of the folks who don't get to attend one of the elites.</p>
<p>Regarding the maintenance man (esp. the "broken English"): After spending some time in Europe, I've concluded that Europeans have had much more exposure to classics and culture in their education than American students. Americans are so often considered clueless about these things. I wonder if that focus in Europe will continue with the current MTV generation.</p>
<p>As for the quest for success in college admissions, as soon as we went from limiting ourselves to the "name" schools, much of the tension went away. My son's friends cringe everytime an adult says "where are you going to college," because if the reaction is one they've never heard of (or the state university), there's a sense of letdown.</p>
<p>I did not read the article but my reaction to the post is that anyone who needs 40 years to make peace with the fact that her child is going to U Chicago instead of HYP needs a life. That child is in fact more likely to hear about Nietszche and Schopenhauer at Chicago than at HYP.</p>
<p>I think the author of that piece needs to support one of her own Washington Post colleagues and buy "Harvard Schmarvard" by Jay Mathews. The overall tone of the article is that she HASN'T made her peace with the issue yet.</p>
<p>I was recently introduced to a friend's mother who, soon after introductions mentioned that she went to one of "THOSE(emphisizing "those" in tone) schools, coincidentally being Smith College. I politely shifted the convo to subjects more apropos to the setting. I stealthly positioned myself to another convo she was beginning and out popped the same statement!!! Clearly this 65+ year old wanted everyone to know about her "pedigree".</p>
<p>I find her obsession both humorous and sad. She wasn't a career success but raised a wonderful daughter. Her husband, a retired mid-level management exec from Exxon was a delight. Yet 40 plus years later the highlight of her live wasn't merely those wonderful college years but the fact that she spent them at Smith College.A thin line exists between pride and an obsession.</p>
<p>Ms Symonds mentions all the doors a pedigree degree opens but the best she can specifically come up with is the Washington Ivy Singles Social Club. Few doubt that the origin of the degree will open some doors in that first entry level position. But after that its all about on the job performance.</p>
<p>Marite, I did read the article and the author was in fact quite pleased with her son's acceptance to his "first choice " school, Chicago. I found the article un-enlightening, to the extreme. Nothing new there at all. Just an over stressed parent bragging on her kid's acceptance to a fine school and her struggle to convince her son and herself that "failure" to get in to an elite school, like all others family members back to Charlemagne had done, wouldn't have been that bad . (But of course -he didn't fail. LOL.) I want my sixty seconds back I spent reading the article.</p>
<p>How pathetic! How bout her concluding paragraph: (She is talking about her own SON here, at U of Chicago)
[quote]
But I can't shake the disturbing thought that his admissions "success" is only the beginning of a long slog through life where degrees, job titles and name-brand professional institutions matter. Where does the quest end? When is enough enough, and where lies satisfaction?
<p>I disagree that the writer of the article made a convincing case about anything other than her own insecurities about "name brands" and "belonging". I think the article is a bunch of hogwash. Of course, parents want the most selective and coveted of anything and everything for their children. Nothing new or puzzling about that. I wonder how she would have felt about her child had he been a "B-C" student with SAT scores in the average range, no strong hooks, but a really nice kid, great person. There are many of such people in this country who are doing just fine, and are very happy with their lives. I guess it would hurt though to have a mother perpetually feeling that you are not good enough because of her eglatarian views.</p>
<p>As for the janitor spewing Schopenhauer, I see this all of the time. Does not necessarily have to be an immigrant either. There are many, many adults who took a few courses in college, read a few of the books, had the capacity to understand the material but for any number of reasons did not pursue that avenue in life whether by choice or not. My husband's cousin is a handyman, barely makes a living, but he went to a well regarded Catholic highschool that used the great books as their base. He has a better knowledge of many of those books than I have.</p>
<p>Gee, we are a tough crowd today, aren't we? I've gone back and re-read the article and I am still wondering how this self-congratulatory and simultaneously inane clap-trap made it past the editors. Let me me re-cap for those who haven't read the article (I took a small amount of "poetic license"): </p>
<p>"Little Johnny had soooo much pressure to get into God's Own Chosen Schools as , you know, we are descended from educational royalty. I was so frightened I began downplaying the horror of his potential rejections and the certain ruination that would follow. It caused me to think about all he would miss out on not having a 'ticket' to the best dances. I began to question it's importance so I could cope. But little Johnny came through ! Hurray! I've been so exhausted I dropped a singles match to Martha when I visited her at the prison . If any one needs to chat ,give me a ring at our beach cottage in the Hamptons."</p>
<p>Hooray for curmudgeon and thank God for my clear-eyed, level-headed son, who pops my bubble with a calm, "Mom, it's okay." any time I get the least bit over-anxious about his app process.</p>
<p>Curmudgeon,
You nailed perfectly what I read to be the author's subtext. What the editors really should have focused on (other than the general idiocy of the article) is what exactly did the author mean by: (Quote) "When is enough enough, and where lies satisfaction? It took me 40 years to find personal peace with that question. I wonder how long it will take our youth to find similar peace and what costs they will bear along the way."<br>
It's not clear to me what her personal peace is. She spends most of the article making the case for how important it is to have a degree from a prestigious institution so I assume her "peace" is that she did the right thing by guiding her child to that "proper" choice in selecting a college. Can anybody clue me in on what the author meant in that last paragraph???</p>
<p>Curmudgeon, I hope you are planning to submit that as a letter to the editor. It's perfect. </p>
<p>Did anyone else think that the piece (besides being whiny and annoying) was rather poorly written, considering the author's "pedigree" and all ?</p>
<p>Curmudgeon, do you write a humour column for a newspaper? I love the tidbits you throw our way on CC. Have you written any books or anything?</p>
<p>ctymomteacher -
"thank God for my clear-eyed, level-headed son, who pops my bubble with a calm, "Mom, it's okay." any time I get the least bit over-anxious about his app process."</p>
<p>I, thank heavens, have one of these, too. He sings me Monty Python songs when I get stressed out.</p>