<p>My son solved the IM problem to his satisfaction by setting up two AIM accounts. I knew his screen name for one but not the other. So if he wanted to be chatting without having me bug him, he'd log on to the one I didn't know. He could always leave the other one open with an away message that would let me & others know he was busy. Pretty soon we all had 2 AIM screen names, because I had the same problem of being annoyed by coworkers and casual acquaintances who wanted to chat at inconvenient times... it was just easier to have an open mode and a stealth mode.</p>
<p>In any case, we had a clear understanding that if I IM'd him and he replied "too busy".... I'd get the message and leave him alone. </p>
<p>I don't think I'll be IM'ing my daughter because we've fallen so much into the text messaging habit - and being able to catch her on the ever present cell phone is so much better than IM, which only works if she is actually on the computer. ;) But I'm not the stalker type of mom, and my daughter insists tht she doesn't mind getting text messages at any time of day or night. </p>
<p>The thing about our casual contact approach is that it is very possible for us to talk 3 or 4 times in one day, and then go a week without talking. I know I have fallen into this habit with my son -- every once in awhile I realize I haven't talked to him for a couple of weeks, and then I give him a call just to connect up. But its something I have to remind myself to do... certainly not an obsession.</p>