"As We See It" on Amazon Prime--let's discuss! (warning: may be spoilers)

“As We See It” has been talked about a bit on the Binge Watched TV Shows thread. I would love to read feedback from parents of young adult kids on the spectrum, like the three in the series, all of whom are also on the spectrum in real life.

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TV is always going to be tv - meaning not perfect, not always true to life, etc. As We See It is not a documentary where I would expect more adherence to “true to life”.

I do not have a child on the spectrum. I put more credence in this show because there was an effort to hire actors who are on the spectrum. I would think (hope) that to a degree it was important to them that much of what is taped is close to “true to life” or possible.

Group homes are of course a thing for all kinds and levels of disabilities. While I could see this option as being prohibitive for many/most? families I think it is not a bad idea for establishing independent living skills.

I am charmed by the fact that the writers chose to set the storyline that these 3 have been friends since preschool! That warms my heart every time.

Also of the 3 in terms of economics clearly Harrison’s family can afford the group home situation, maybe Jack’s dad and Violet is more of a reach.

I really, really loved the series.

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First, want to say how much I enjoyed the show and think it was relatively well done. Love the three kids and followed their struggles on the edge of my seat. Clearly it is an idealized situation with just three in the apartment and a dedicated caregiver.

I had some thoughts about the caregiver, Mandy. One of my kids worked at a center for autism for very low pay. Clearly the series has a sentimental bias toward Mandy “loving” these kids enough to give up a prestigious internship and medical school (both of which were her boyfriend’s idea, so working with the kids would also seem to represent autonomy and being her true self versus who her boyfriend wants her to be.) Another question, what if the caregiver was a male? Would the plotline also depend on a male staying out of love for the residents?

It is a heartwarming plot line, Mandy’s “love” and desire to stay in the job. But as a parent of a young person who works with autistic kids, I can only say to Mandy, good luck supporting yourself because this kind of work is among the lowest paid jobs in the country. Workers in this and similar fields deserve better pay!

The other comment is that these professions pose a real challenge in balancing professional boundaries with the “love” that can engender good care. The series really applauds Mandy for basically loving the three kids, and that tends toward the unprofessional at times, begins to cause problems for her, and ultimately does not serve anyone well. But yeah, makes for a good plot and engages us with her as well as the residents,

The reality of working in a center for autism involves constant physical injury. My kid has been kicked, punched, spat on, and during one severe beating had a concussion while her coworker had a brain bleed. Sorry, not heartwarming. She looooves the kid who beat her and suffered more for him. It was nice to see these relatively high functioning characters making it work, and I am really glad to hear that casting ensured that each of them is actually on the spectrum.

Mandy had a high degree of autonomy on the job. No supervisor? In real life that could be dangerous. I guess the deal is that she was hired privately by the families.

The kiss with the brother was obviously a mistake but popular shows like to have a romantic story line and we already know that Mandy’s boyfriend is probably not good for her, and the brother Van sees how special she is. So special that she can continue to work his his sister for $12/hour with no supervisory support and love the kids so much that she will eventually have to leave! (sorry, loved the show)

But for a first episode, it was certainly heartwarming and the characters were more than engaging. I think it may help raise awareness and engender more understanding. How many parents of kids with autism have had to suffer judgment at a restaurant for instance? I really hope that the series helps give people a glimmer of what life can be like for kids who are not neurotypical, and the apartment of three preschool friends is such a nice model however hard to achieve in real life.

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We don’t know how much Mandy is making as the trios caretaker. It may be a satisfactory salary. Also she is probably receiving the benefit of free housing, food and perhaps her car since she has to drive them a lot.

Mandy clearly is not sure what she wants for her future life both career wise and relationship wise. This job may be her constant now and she can cover her bills so maybe sit works out for now.

I know a few people on the spectrum quite well and they exhibit no violence. They are not at all physically combative.

Oh, and unless they hired her from an agency (which may be the case and we just don’t see a supervisor) I see the parents/guardians as her “supervisor” .

Here is a recent review of the show. One of the producers has a child on the spectrum.

One of the stories Of the show that was difficult for me was the nurse Jack got involved with. She seemed so much older than him! I liked her a lot but at times her relationship with him seemed a little inappropriate. As the article above says, her role was to help Jack grow - which did happen but it always just seemed a little odd to me.

I am a therapist at a community mental health clinic in Brooklyn, NY. I have several clients who have late teen/young adult kids with autism and they worry–A LOT!–about what will happen to their kids when they can no longer care for them. NYS’s Office for People with Developmental Disabilities has residences–basically group homes with staff on site at all times, 5-8 residents. From what I have heard, most of these these are caring homes for their residents and residents’ parents are greatly relieved to have such a place for their adult child. But it’s nothing whatsoever like the place where Mandy watches over three residents. My clients have nowhere near the resources of any of the parents/caretakers of the trio of 25-26-year-olds as shown. Sure, Violet’s brother works but I am pretty sure that as portrayed, the guys’ families pay the rent, pay for Mandy, pay for everything. The families I know about could not possibly contribute a significant amount and the residences available for their kids are supported by state subsidies and residents’ SSI checks, food stamps, and Medicaid, with staff that have no plan to go to medical school or do research on autism.

@MaineLonghorn, I wonder if you’ve watched this series.

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I’m sure you’re right re: the resources for most people! This situation is not the norm to be able to have the luxury of someone else to basically help your child gain independence 24/7.

But is that the show’s intent? To show the more typical situation - or to just draw light (and drama) on a possible scenario - and possible outcomes and challenges for 3 young adults on the spectrum??

I don’t know these answers but again, TV SHOW not documentary or a true biography.

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Oh, I totally get that, @abasket! I just wouldn’t want viewers to think this kind of support was available to the average family.

I see. I hope viewers OFTEN don’t take fiction tv for real life!!

There are many aspects of the show that are life like though for young adults on the spectrum? Just look at it terms of jobs….one working in IT (and being quite successful at it task wise), one working at Arbys and still struggling and one who can’t even barely leave the house and dealing with society to face getting a job.

I wasn’t clear on whether Mandy was living there because at times she seemed to be driving away at the end of the day.

Full disclosure: one of my kids is on the spectrum.

As for violence, there is a range and it is, well, a spectrum. Violet exhibits some violence. Talk to anyone who works in the field and violence and worker safety are huge issues: staff are taught restraints, there are panic buttons and workers wear protective equipment. My kid was beaten more than once. She also taught the aggressive kid how to dance and cared so much about him and especially what would happen to him in his life. As We See It is a wonderful show about some fairly high functioning kids. Of course if you go on campus at Harvard or MIT you will also find some incredibly bright high functioning students who are on the spectrum. (And not at all violent.)

ps By supervision I meant guidance, someone to supervise her strategies and keep her on track with boundaries, for instance. Since she is hired privately she does not have that benefit. If she had gone to school for social work or applied behavioral analysis or whatever, she would have had that training, but here she just uses natural ability.

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I do believe that a plotline involving a young female giving up opportunities for conventional success in favor of caregiving would not work with a young man in our culture. I would like to see that. I am doing an analysis here and enjoyed the show. But I did react to this issue while watching.

I will have to watch the series.

My son lives in a four-unit apartment building. He has a roommate with a similar serious mental illness. There is staff in an upstairs office 24-7. There is some turnover but some of the staff has been there for years. They’ve been very kind and are always available when my son needs help or just wants to hang out. He is on SSI and pays only $320/month in rent. I save about $400/month for him in an ABLE 529 account that doesn’t impact his SS eligibility. So he is in a good situation but it took me years to get him to that point. He would be on the streets without me.

I just finished Episode 6 and the point about supervision definitely hit home. Boundaries, Mandy!

I believe they explained that the situation is that really only the one wealthy family subsidizes most of what’s going on. The others pay some rent but Jack says to the other guy something like “ the only reason you’re here is because your parents pay for most of this”. And the idea I think is that the wealthy family offered this to the other 2 who their kid had known since preschool.

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Which would make total sense with the storyline. Harrison’s parents are buying him a new family - as part of their plan to move away and not have to be responsible in person.

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But when Jack asked for (demanded, lol) a raise, he mentioned a not-insignificant amount that he pays for rent.

Yes. He pays rent on a California apartment which could be pricy. But the idea is that Harrison’s parents are paying for what is really prohibitively expensive for most people. …a full time caregiver.

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That’s true but for a young adult (any!) who is paying rent for the first time doesn’t ANY amount of their income going towards it seem like too much!?

He was being faced with being totally dependent on himself which was clearly very scary but also he knew what he would have to manage - clearly down to the dollar.

Wow, this is tough to watch. I wondered, having read everyone’s posts, how I would feel. I don’t see the BF as pushing her, I see Mandy as afraid of change, sees herself as having failed at med school apps and that’s a time that is easy to fall back on something that makes her feel successful, the care giving, versus stretching and trying the internship. I would bet many of us have encouraged kids through times like that.

But mainly, my chest feels tight with frustration- frustration for Violet who wants, desperately to be normal yet never will be , frustration for her brother who is trying so hard to help her, but he is also hurting his real life!

Watching it all gives me an insight into some of the sibling issues I have friends dealing with. The siblings who need so much help are not on the spectrum, but they are just as stuck in their situation as these three people. And they likely cannot change any more than Harrison, Violet, and Jack and we really need to adjust our expectations of those siblings, even though it feels not fair or not right or not the way life should be.

I am amazed how tight my chest gets watching it and I don’t have a spectrum sibling, just a disabled one.

And so many little frustrating things, AJs Mom seems clueless, why doesn’t Violet’s brother tell Selena anything at all about his sister-how can Selena have a hope of helping if she doesn’t understand the situation.

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Is Harrison supposed to be on the autism spectrum? Jack made some comment that made me think he wasn’t. I thought maybe he has some sort of major anxiety disorder but not on the spectrum. Also, I find it difficult to believe that no one had made a comment to Jack about being on the spectrum before. It’s pretty clear that he is and Inwoukd be surprised if it wasn’t ever brought up by anyone. My cousin is on the spectrum and it would be brought up by HR or by fellow students not infrequently.