<p>I'm an Asian kid. Yep, you know the whole, two-bit stereotypical story. And it fits me to a T. Almost. You see, I'm here on a student visa (because my mom is going back to school to study nursing), which means I have no eligibility for financial aid. Period.</p>
<p>What's worse, I live in California, which means that even though I badly want to go to UCR (got the acceptance letter and a Chancellor's Scholarship to boot) I have to every year fork over $32,000 to the State. </p>
<p>But that's not my problem - merely the background. You see, I got in a fight about that with my mom, who thinks that despite having a 3.72 GPA, I'm just not "good enough". Sure, I could get a 4.0 - but that would require me to shut myself in a room until midnight, every night, doing nothing but study and eat. What's even worse is that she points to the example of a local girl who, despite being an illegal immigrant, got a full ride to MIT (it was on Balitang America, the local ethnic Filipino program). Yes, I made some poor decisions - bu what Western teenage kid hasn't? I grew up in Australia (we lived there for a hile,before pursuing the American Dream) and I have as much Asian culture as a broomstick in an ao-dai. I tell her that we're not in Asia anymore, and she just bursts into rage with "Asian parenting is ten times better than that of you stupid white friends! Putang ina, you damn ingrate!" Yeah, and I've got a bridge Libya I want to sell you - bamboo stick and slipper, anyone? Being thrown out of the house on occasion?</p>
<p>I just want to convine her to not be so narrowminded and overbearing, but my folks never listen - and when I tell them, they tell me to "mind your place, bunso" like I'm a bloody kindergartener. I'm not dumb, I'm in the top 10% of my class. I just don't want to be contantly needled on how I'm not the valedictorian, and I can never be like my ex-girlfriend, the valedictorian.</p>
<p>Hey, I hear that a lot too! Phrases like “ikaw ay tamad” and “walang kaukulan” are also thrown around every once in awhile…</p>
<p>Anyway, as far as what my parents have told me, life over hear is much easier than it is back home. My dad’s from Manila, and he’s always going on about how sheltered our lives in America are, and how he was always beaten for the smallest lapses of discipline, and how his tatay didn’t have enough money to send him to college cause his older brother splurged it on crap and how my siblings and I should be grateful that we don’t have to sell water bottles on the dusty, murderous streets of a third world country under martial law.</p>
<p>So I just do what I’m told and mind my own business.</p>
<p>That’s the problem. I (usually) do what I’m told. Yet they still blow their wad. Trust me, I know they have a point. I spent three months in Manila. I know it’s hard. For getting me out of that hell-hole, I am eternally grateful.</p>
<p>But I don’t live in the Philippines. I’m in most respects a Westernized Asian. My friends are white, Asian-American and African-American. I’ve dated a Native American and a Caucasian. I’m NOT THEM. I abide by the law, unlike my gang-affliliated younger cousin. I got a 2200 on the SAT. And yet they still think that unless I ge 4.2’s like my ex, I’m going to be washing dshes at the local Denny’s for a lifetime.</p>
<p>Not to sound like a dick but you are being a vag. Take your mom’s nagging like a man and with serious consideration. It might help you in the long run and it isnt even a big deal to just listen to it. Basically every asian kid goes through the exact same shat; even kids who work/ed much harder than you. And honestly if you can get a 4.0 by studying till midnight, why not do it? sounds like a scrub school to me.</p>
<p>-listen to your parents, and agree (u can pretend) to everything they say, why fight them? U know they’re already ****ed off, so it’s better just to say “Yes sir/Ma’am” then fight offf and cause some major lameness</p>
<p>-Follow your plan and learn how to talk to them, use techniques like “I understand your point of view, but I have my own life, etc”</p>
<p>-Show them u can succeed in what u desire.
F them, they probably think you can’t do anything without them, well show U CAN!</p>
<p>My family is white and I have a very liberal-minded mom. She doesn’t need me to go to Ivy’s or anything, and does not expect anything out of me that I do not want personally for myself (I am content with UC’s even moreso than ivy’s, so she accepts that and cheers me on). You are 100% in the right, and while I can’t give you advice, it sounds like a cultural thing. You’ll be gone in a year. Just make sure not to do the same to your own kids. Love your mom though, she only does it cause she cares. If there is no reasoning with her, whatever. You’re an adult and won’t be financially dependent on her soon enough.</p>
<p>After awhile (or maybe it was like that all along), you develop higher standards than those of your parents… Then again, my parents don’t seem to be as strict as yours (whether that’s correlated to the fact I generally do meet pretty high standards is unclear).</p>
<p>For example, I’d be upset if I got a certain grade on a test but if I call my mom and tell her she’d sound so proud and try to cheer me up.</p>
<p>im with ya
i never tell my parents what i get on test
i just say i forgot or make up a lame excuse
and they’ll be all happy if i get straight As
but i had 2 Bs in 8th grade…
they went nuts</p>
<p>@mcb52–Yeahhhhhh. It kinda sucks because YOU’re the one adding the pressure on yourself you know? IT doesnt really make sense to me because I feel like I’m just adding more stress. But I think it’s just because I know what I want and I’m determined to to try my best to achieve it.</p>
<p>I have Asian parents and even though they do want me to be successful, they’re not really that pushy. They just want me to be happy and healthy and just live up to my potential you know? But they’re pretty baffled by how late I stay up sometimes. Hahah they’re just like GO TO BED. You wont be able to keep your eyes open tomorrow! But I’m like…It’s 10pm? I have hw? I’m in high school? Haha but at least they care. They would really like me to go to sleep like that day…instead of the monring of the next day…hah.</p>
<p>@OP–Sorry about your situation. Maybe it’ll get better as they become more adjusted to this environment. We’ve been here quite a while and while I still enjoy my Asian background and culture, I don’t really connect with it was much. For me, THIS is my home. I’ve lived here most of my life. My parents were kind of like yours at first (mostly because they want us to try our best so we can lead a better life than them in the future) but they eventually accepted this new Western culture and are much more easygoing now. MUCH more.</p>
<p>my goal in life is to completely erase my asian background and become an arrogant, cold, self-centered, hot, rich, smart, preppy p-ton guy who likes to eat good food</p>
<p>Yup sounds a lot like my mother. She tells me on a day to day basis I’m worthless, I have no future, I’m going to a community college, and I’m destined to work at market basket for the remainder of my life after getting a 96 on a math exam. Are you Vietnamese? I figured with the whole ao-dai thing.</p>
