<p>I think I'd actually like my parents to be interested in my college process; they hardly pay attention. They're white Americans, of course. Oh well.</p>
<p>i<3YaoMing:
b3tt3Rt[-]4nU:</p>
<p>Not every immigrant is jumping off the boat with few or no $$ in pockets. Most of the skilled immigration of 1990's brought people who belongs to well to do families in their countries; had best of the education; doesn't solely rely on the US higher education to flourish in USA.</p>
<p>Parent who are involved with children education actually had the best of the education in their countries; went to the top of line schools there and would like to provide a similar environment to their children. It is not that they suffered but because they really value education and so they send their children to prep schools; provide all the facilities so that they can have a successful life.</p>
<p>^ My parents were actually quite wealthy when they came to the states, the only reason they say they came all the way here for me is because they could have had the best jobs overseas because not only did they have an American education they also went to one of the best engineering schools here.</p>
<p>Nobody implied that anyones parents "suffered", leaving your country to go somewhere new when you could remain home is a sacrifice, and like all parents they want a return on their investment. Nobody wants to spend time caring for a child and providing great oppurtunites to that child, and not have the child do anything productive with their lives.</p>
<p>"Nobody wants to spend time caring for a child and providing great oppurtunites to that child, and not have the child do anything productive with their lives."</p>
<p>I don't think you can control the end result. I don't think parent do things because they want something in return. I think only people that understand life and know that providing a healthy environment is a key to successful upbringing do a good job.</p>
<p>Anyone who do things because of an end result is making a mistake. You cannot control the end result.</p>
<p>Parent involvement is key to peaceful; flourishing city. Take an example of the following cities in San Jose bay area.
San Jose - 1Million pop. - around 30 homicides
San Francisco - 900K pop. - around 80 - 100 homicides
Oakland - 400K pop. - around 100 - 150 homicides
Concord - 60K pop. - around 40 - 50 homicides</p>
<p>If you look at the free children without any parent involvement. You will find concord has the maximum %. Freedom is not always the best things for teenage children.</p>
<p>"Freedom is not always the best things for teenage children."</p>
<p>I do agree with that statement because teenagers are still not mature enough to handle all aspects of their lives by themselves. Yet, that isn't the reason why all parents act like the OPs "asian parents" some just want their children to be successful because many people believe the level of success a child achieves reflects the parenting.</p>
<p>"some just want their children to be successful because many people believe the level of success a child achieves reflects the parenting."</p>
<p>...and some (too many) believe that 'being successful' is predicated upon attending particular few Universities and no others. This is not the way it works in the U.S.A, regardless of how it works in China, Japan, Korea. There are only a handful of careers for which attending particular institutions is a significant aid to becoming established in that career; most of those careers are ones in which these same students are not interested. This is why the whole unnatural focus is such a ridiculous waste of energy & angst. In fact, in many cases it may be a career boost or professional/grad school boost to attend lesser known colleges where the student will be a major star in research, etc.</p>
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…and some (too many) believe that 'being successful' is predicated upon attending particular few Universities and no others. This is not the way it works in the U.S.A, regardless of how it works in China, Japan, Korea.
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<p>“Particular few”?</p>
<p>That’s not how it works in the PRC, either.</p>
<p>To my knowledge, only two Chinese professors at my local university are alums of “Chinese Ivy Leagues.” The majority graduated from what we in the U.S. would call “state universities.”</p>
<p>My father, for example, graduated from a “state university.” In order to come to North America, he had to beat students from the “Chinese Ivy Leagues.”</p>
<p>I disagree with the notion held by some that the only way for “under-represented” minorities to succeed is to increase their enrollment at our best universities. Most of the immigrants who come here with developed human capital DID NOT earn their undergraduate degrees at their country’s “Ivy Leagues.” Yet, they seem to be doing fine. Why is that?</p>
<p>Let's not get this thread be another AA thread. Please start another thread if you must.</p>
<p>fabrizio, I appreciate what you say -- & believe you about the local profs --
but the parents doing the pushing are not necessarily aiming to have S's and D's work as academics in "local universities." In fact, mostly there is not the stated interest, at least in the short term, in seeing those S's and D's in academic jobs at all -- but in medical jobs, engineering jobs, other scientific jobs. Sometimes they (students or parents) state an interest in finance jobs, but not always i-banking or some other niche that draws heavily from N-Eastern college graduates or "Elite college" graduates. And at the least, "successful" is synonymous, to many people, with well-paying. There are many, many paths to such success in the U.S., even high-profile success, regardless of how it tends to work in any country in Asia (whether or not the prime spots or "fast-track" spots are mostly for those graduating from high-profile U's).</p>
<p>^^ That was my only point, and I raise it because it is a continual issue on these boards that does not go away, and continues to be reported as a dynamic in Asian families. (Pressure to attend "the best," out of fear that anything else will have a permanent economic effect on the student. I'm only reporting what the Asian students report, btw, not concluding something that is not there to conclude.)</p>
<p>Agh...Yea...I see that my Asian parents have affected my psychological development. Some adverse consequences will be fixed by my psychologist around the age of 30ish. (Most of the problems are in the self esteem area...Not something that's easily fixed.)</p>
<p>Thanks, epiphany.</p>
<p>At the moment, I am interested in pursuing a career as a professor at a top research university. My father has certainly pushed me in the last half decade or so. Sometimes, the pushing had a negative effect. For example, I used to play a stringed instrument, but I don’t anymore. Five years ago, I was having a difficult time reaching the “next level.” My dad kept pushing, and I ended up quitting because I couldn’t tolerate it. In other cases, the pushing had a positive effect. Two years ago, I was having serious doubts as to how well I would do on the AP Biology exam. I almost gave up mentally because my teacher had not covered an entire section of our textbook that would undoubtedly be on the exam. My father gave me the necessary push, and I self-studied the material. When I saw the last free response question on the exam, I knew that what I had done was correct.</p>
<p>My father is certainly not pushing me to work as an academic at a local university. In addition, that is not my goal.</p>
<p>Only recently did I express interest in pursuing an academic career. I used to be interested in medicine and engineering, but I lost interest after I realized that my “touch” was subpar at best.</p>
<p>To me, “success” is getting paid well to do what you want to do. Currently, the prospect of doing research and teaching is very appealing to me. That the field I’m interested in pays well is just a bonus.</p>
<p>Of course, I might be an anomaly in this regard. I don't believe any of the other children of Chinese faculty are interested in academic careers.</p>
<p>I'm both Asian AND the dreaded Chinese and neither of my parents (not born in American either) are like that at all. Granted, they don't know that much about college admissions, but neither do most American parents and they pretty left the whole issue up to me.</p>
<p>As a Chinese kid, yeah, I have to say my parents pushed me when I was younger. It didn't like it when I was little, but looking back now, I'm kinda glad my parents did what they did. Whenever I came home with B's, they'd say "you didn't try hard enough." As it turns out, they were right...everytime. :P It just made me try a lot harder in high school to get good grades. XD</p>
<p>my father compared going to a state college with losing an eye. It's clearly that horrifying.</p>
<p>i think because my parents made me do homework and study all the time and not let me hang out and stuff, i have become less social as a result and this has limited my ease and familiarity with teachers</p>
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i think because my parents made me do homework and study all the time and not let me hang out and stuff, i have become less social as a result and this has limited my ease and familiarity with teachers
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same.........</p>
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What countries are east asia ?
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<p>Find Asia on the map. (hint: it's the big one)</p>
<p>Now look at the countries on the east part of it.</p>
<p>Voila!!</p>
<p>Okay, okay, i keed....anyway east asian in this sense usually refers to nations with a heavily Confucian/sinitic influence: China, Korea, Japan, Taiwan. Singapore is geographically in South Asia but has heavy Chinese (and anglosphere) influences.</p>
<p>I'm from India...my parents are alright. I mean my stepdad gives me money when I got into top 10 rank in my high school (6th out of 670ish) and for National AP Scholar and stuff...and in general, both my parents aren't too bad compared to other Asian parents I know.</p>
<p>My Asian parents never pushed me that hard; they each went to community colleges in Asia, and came here for jobs instead of schools. They thought about convincing me to go to a community college to save money. </p>
<p>My mother didn't like giving me rides to places very much, so I was pressured out of doing some things that I would've liked to try, though. But I finally have an opportunity to get my driver's license this summer, of course, right before I go off to college...</p>
<p>Yeah, my parents are the same way. They don't like the fact I have an internship with a congressman. They rather have me stay home, study, take care of the kids(siblings) and clean. I need to build up my EC's and talk to friends. Of course we're going to have problems.</p>
<p>But its life and I'm better or worse for it. So i have to traverse the college process alone, at least there will be someone pushing me to finish it.</p>