<p>What do Asian parents do to their children if they do not get into top schools? I feel like Asians are afraid of being disowned (I actually do know some that have been for menial things like sneaking out)?</p>
<p>None of the Asians I know at UCI, UCSD, or community college have been disowned. I think it's just a matter of pride...you have to listen to people talking about X person who got into Y top school for a long long time, parents bragging, ppl congratulating...</p>
<p>There are two different types of asian parents. Laid-back and crazy. Depending on your luck, if you dont make it into a 'good' school nothing happens or you get torn a new one. This sometimes goes for everyone, not just the asian parent stereo, which sometimes is true.</p>
<p>Parents whose kids made it into a 'good' school brag, but how about the ones that don't? You don't hear of people saying their son or daughter went to a community college, only the people that got into selective colleges. It isn't that the people your parents know made it into the higher ranked colleges more, just that they are the only ones talking about it while the others keep their mouth shut.</p>
<p>LOL....<em>laughs</em> Oh Asian parents are strict and always WANT to be proud of how well their children did. so they try to push them and so on. But truly, in the end, if you get into college, they are ecstatic...regardless of where you actually go.</p>
<p>for menial things? It's about trust...sneaking out is BIG!!!</p>
<p>I agree with ebony tear... It's all about status. Always comparing their own child to other children. I'm Asian also. My parents always compare me with other kids .</p>
<p>I'm not sure its all about the parents...the kids must have some competitive edge to them too. My parents are pretty laid back, but since i have a pretty competitive nature I try my best</p>
<p>its not just asians, most people just make that mistake because perhaps asians care the most about their scholastic acheivement but its really any parent/family who has pushed their child and wants to try to give them the best oppurtunities to have the best future. </p>
<p>hardly anyone gets disowned... parents may have high expectations but they arent dicks or horrible people</p>
<p>Yeah, and if you have extremely strict parents with insane expectations, then you're a big shame to the family if you don't get into a top college (usually "Haaavaaddd"--Harvard), especially if multiple members of your family has. I know some other Asian friends whose parents are really tough with them on the issue.</p>
<p>Aside from college matters, some Asian parents will literally go crazy on their sons/daughters if they find out that their sons/daughters are clandestinely dating someone while still attending high school. </p>
<p>It really depends on what traditions the Asian parents adhere to--whether they stick to their old-fashioned traditions or somewhat make transitions into the new American culture.</p>
<p>I dunno. My parents are kind of chill. The only requirement is nothing lower than UCSD otherwise they won't pay.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Yeah, and if you have extremely strict parents with insane expectations, then you're a big shame to the family if you don't get into a top college (usually "Haaavaaddd"--Harvard),
[/quote]
That's my mother. </p>
<p>It's not just Asian parents independently coming up with these notions but a collective phenomenon. For example, my mom maintains an arsenal of biographical information about children of chinese coworkers which she brings up whenever she feels I am not fulfilling expectations. Where does this arsenal come from? Asian parties, where the parents talk about/brag about/insult their and other people's kids. At least, this is true where I live. </p>
<p>But honestly, my mom's rantings don't actually affect me most of the time. I do want to go to a good school but its much much more because of my goals and my interests than what my mom deems as good(makes a lot of money-doctor/lawyer, i don't want to be either).</p>
<p>What logiscus said. Basically big disappointment to my family when I was rejected from the more prestigious schools. Daily rants about how I was a failure and would work at McDonalds. Continuous reference to people who'd gotten into more prestigious schools than me. This started when college decisions came out and is STILL going on.</p>
<p>My parent never even finished high school, nor do they know what an "ACT" is. It's not I'm really poor, in fact, I have quite a great living. It's quite important to have parents to actually motivate you do do well in school, and have sis/brothers that tell you about college. I have none of that. I was born in Bosnia, grew up in Germany, and almost all of my family members have an high school eduation (max.).To tell you the truth, all information I found about scholarships, AP's, what to do in high, and everything that's mentioned on this website, I have found my accident.</p>
<p>My parent too, (-_-)...I'm a one Asian student who is trying to push myself hard because I don't want to hear their voice yelling at me..........--ll.....So they are really tough and ...lol...[smiles and looks back to her mom in the kitchen]...They do that with some reason...They love us...They want us to have a good future althought their way to push their own child is kinda ....well....say..it is really crazy.....Anyhow all they did is good for us...(^^).....</p>
<p>I've been a self-pushed over-the-limit type of guy my entire life, I'm a Mexican with a 4.0 and my parents never gave a $hit. They don't even know what classes I take. Weird.</p>
<p>Being Asian, and also being half-Japanese and Half-Chinese, I think that there is a difference in mentality not by race but also by origin.
Take this into consideration:</p>
<p>My father didnt' really do so hot in high school, played football, wrestled, got a 2.0 GPA, worked most of the time, and went into a community college. And ye He basically came from a humble background, (grandfather uneducated due to internment camps). and yet he is arguably more "successful" than many people we know that are graduates of "good" schools like UCB and Harvard. He doesn't really have a huge emphasis on education and prestige.</p>
<p>My mother on the other hand grew up in the Midwest, being the only Asian, she had to stick out, and also was the daughter of a doctor and nurse fleeing straight from China. The pressure to attain prestige and acceptance into a good college was enormous. She got into a respectable college, and definitely puts more emphasis on prestige. However, she is less traditional and doesnt think so blindly of college admissions as one's test of perfection as a human being.</p>
<p>Now I'm not trying to be racist or preferential towards either side, nor brag about anyone or anything, but I tend to notice that Japanese-Americans tend to have a good work ethic no doubt, but have less of an emphasis on prestige and education. Chinese-Americans, whose parents are more immigrants, have that "American dream" ambition.</p>
<p>Again I'm only a high school kid, and I dont know what kind of Asians there are at college, but to classify all asians as having the same work ethic... is based on truth, but there are certainly differences as well.</p>
<p>Dude, both my parents cannot speak a word of English. They originally came here illegally from Mexico. Neither of them even finished middle school.</p>
<p>It's not really "Asian" parents either. Usually the "Asian" phenom applies to Chinese-root origins (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, etc) and India. Most Southeast Asians and Middle Easterns don't really exhibit much "Asianness," and if they do, it's usually not as much as those other groups. Also, second-generation Asian-Americans have a lot less Asian-ness as well; again, usually.</p>
<p>This is why I think that affirmative action by really general ethnicity groups is a bad idea; its gross stereotypes aren't even correct!</p>
<p>I benefit from AA either way, suckers.</p>
<p>I go to a Jewish school and I think Jewish parents are the second biggest college-pushers after asians (this is based on stereotypes and experiences). I think Jews are actually even more over-represented in top schools than asians, but that is probably based on economic standings more than pushyness.
Personally, my parents wouldnt mind me geting all B's and going to a mediocre state school, so I am the only one who cares about getting into a top school. If i had been pushed more by my parents, I would probably have a 3.85 instead of a 3.7, but i might not be as happy.</p>
<p>My parents--Chinese immigrants who were a valedictorian and a student body president, or the Chinese equivalent, in high school-- are telling me to eschew the Ivies for a state school because of the cheaper tuition. They're encouraging me to apply to more prestigious schools, on the off chance that I get offered an independent merit scholarship, but I think they assume I'll end up at a state school even if I get into an Ivy.</p>
<p>I'm not sure how unusual a circumstance this is.</p>