Here’s the quote from the article:
This is derisive, all right, but the derision is directed at people who are whining about a “sex panic,” not at feminists. The people who bleat “sex hysteria” when women object to being harassed and assaulted are the same people who call feminists “prudes,” she is saying.
https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/01/the-humiliation-of-aziz-ansari/550541/
Shall we discuss?
@“Cardinal Fang” I’ll go back and re-read the article!
CF: I interpreted it as you did, and it made me think of the second link I posted:
Then, some folks in the comments don’t understand it’s satire, and I appreciate and sympathize with that because sometimes recently it is really difficult for me to tell the difference between serious sentiments and humour. It isn’t clear to me whether reading the comments is useful even if I want to do my best to understand different points of view.
The second Post article is satire. I am not so convinced about the first link.
The Atlantic article is spot on in my opinion. It is entirely sad to me, a woman probably the age of the writer.
In order to not understand the Petri article is satire, you have to be impenetrably stupid, or not have read it. I suspect for most commenters who didn’t understand, it’s the latter.
Exhibit A, from the article that some people think is not satire:
Well yes the writer had moments of satire in the first article but that entire editorial was not satire. The second Post article was satirical from beginning to end in my opinion.
This whole story is just over the top. Why you would come out publicly with something like this is beyond me.
I think because there are some very confused and nieve young women who just don’t get it and are heavily influenced to portray themselves as victims AND get revenge for their perceived hurts.
Unfortunately this little metoo moment I fear will back fire on her as she portrays herself as too dumb to leave the apartment and incapable of making up her mind. Two really unfortunate traits. If anyone outs her it will be a long long time before any guy will feel safe getting near her. Hint to this young women that guys really do like strong women who don’t play games. And to her and Aziz maybe on first dates you and your date need to keep your clothes on until you know each other alittle better.
At a party this weekend someone said, that when she was young, her mother told her not to go to a man’s apartment if she didn’t intend to have sex and that she agrees with that advice. This woman now has grown sons. That is probably still excellent real world advice. However, I wish we could live in a different world. The party goer seemed to be saying her sons didn’t agree with her about that advice. And she found their worldview dismaying.
Does she give that same advice to her sons? “Don’t go to a male friend’s apartment unless you want to have sex with him, so. Oh, you did, and your ‘friend’ raped you? Your bad. What were you wearing?”
Going to someone’s apartment means they get to rape you. But… not if you’re a guy? How does this work?
I have been to many peoples’ dorm rooms, apartments and homes and many have been to mine—none of them ever tried to rape me and we never had sex, from age 18 through today.
I don’t believe inviting someone to your home or being invited is asking for sex by either party.
I too have been to many male friends’ dorm rooms, apartments and houses. None of them have raped me. I get that women need to be careful for their safety, but women having to just skip a normal part of life, visiting friends without chaperonage, because men are too stupid or evil to not commit crimes? That is bizarre. I won’t live my life that way.
My kids and their buddies visit friends at various homes and apartments and to my knowledge none have ever been raped. Blaming the victim is wrong—visiting is NOT saying “Yes, I want sex!”
Oh good grief. Sorry, but that’s just ridiculous.
Not ridiculous…and not totally bad advice. Go get a cup of coffee. Make plans to visit each other’s apartments on a second or third date. This girl was all-in but it just didn’t work out the way perhaps she hoped. Her first clue that it wasn’t a match made in heaven was white wine with seafood when she prefers red. And yes I am being facetious…sorta. She would have saved herself a life lesson and some grief if she would have gone and gotten coffee and then went home.
What if she doesn’t want to have sex with the guy after the second or third meeting? Or ever? What if she wants to be friends with him? Is she never to go to his house? I go to male friends’ houses all the time, and I never want to have sex with them.
YES, it actually is completely ridiculous. I think of all the times I went to men’s homes when I was single to watch a football game, grab a pizza, rent a DVD, enjoy a friendship or even perhaps get to know if the man and I were compatible to a degree that I would want to begin a romantic relationship. Never was it a given that I was there for sex . No man or woman should ever make the leap that someone accepting an invitation to set food in their abode is the equivalent of consenting for sex.
The advice quoted said nothing about not going to a person’s apartment only on the first date…the advice given seems to imply that a woman who goes to a man’s apartment EVER is insinuating that she wants sex, or even further, that she can’t complain if a man attempts to force it on her. The old “what did you expect” baloney.
SMH…
Pretty sure that pretty sound advice was for someone who had no prior relationship with their date and was just getting to know them. In which case, going back to someone’s apartment after a date means different things to different people, and avoiding that situation makes sense if you do not know someone well. By second or third date you should have a better feel for what kind of person someone is and what to expect.