Assistance needed in convincing parent

<p>Having been through this sort of thing myself, with my own Mom, I disagree with the compromise approach of taking some pre-med courses.</p>

<p>Seeming to leave the door open to medicine gives Mom the opportunity to cling to hope, to continue to raise the issue, to seize upon good grades in science as evidence, etc. The wound/issue festers.</p>

<p>And, making a compromise with Mom on such a personal issue runs contrary to the overarching goal of becoming one's own person while still maintaining appropriate and amicable relations with Mom. The OP is going to bitterly regret any unwelcome compromise every time she sits through or studies for her pre-med classes, and that will tend to poison her relationship with her Mom. The OP is already frustrated and upset; imagine how she will be after several more years of pleading for approval to make her own career choice.</p>

<p>No, IMO the OP should live her own life, while making it her business to keep Mom informed and also on warm, loving terms.</p>

<p>Isn't Mom paying for school, or helping to pay for school? If so, she should probably have some say in what goes on. There are parents who threaten to stop paying if the kids don't have certain majors or career paths. If Mom says, "No college money unless you are on a pre-med path," then, IMO, the best thing to do is compromise. </p>

<p>I'm in a very similar situation. My parents (well, some of them - both parents remarried) really disapproved of changing from engineering to law. The thing that finally convinced one of them that it was a good choice was when I said that, after five years of working in engineering (at a great company with phenomenally interesting projects), I didn't want to do it for the rest of my life. The fact that I had worked so much and gotten my degree actually helped my case. I just said that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life finding an engineering firm which would be a little bit better for me. There was nothing stopping me from continuing to be a successful engineer, except for the fact that I liked it but didn't love it. The legal questions surrounding my projects were more exciting than the projects themselves. My parents get this. They understand that this is a good career move for me and is exactly what I want to do with my life. Had I said that at age 18, we would have the exact problems that the OP has.</p>

<p>It's not a battle to be fought now. The OP will change over the next few years, and his relationship with his mother will change on its own. Going to college will, by itself, change their relationship. The first year is hard for the parents, but they learn to let go. Unless the mother really has a disorder, the OP doesn't need to push her away to make a point. </p>

<p>She may very well still love law at age 22 and be bored by science, and, if that happens, her mom will understand that. I don't see the mother like you do - like the parents of Terri Schiavo who cling to any hope in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary - but as one who is expressing some pretty valid concerns about the practice of law. At age 22, the OP can have the following conversation: "Mom, I just didn't like my pre-med courses. My classmates are all so passionate about medicine, and I just don't get it. I still love law and my best experiences over the past four years were in mock trial and working at that law firm. I really want to go to law school." Her mom will understand. Been there, done that.</p>

<p>Lol. I am a male. Regardless, you both--ADad and ariesathena--make valid points that I will seriously consider over the coming days. I honestly do not want to compromise, but I do not want to jeapordize the relationship with my mother. My passion for science is long dead;I honestly am not even sure if I ever had a passion for science. </p>

<p>I can relate to what ADad is saying, because I have started to resent my mother for the lack of support she is providing and for her futile persistence. Can't really blame her--she is a mother. I can relate to what ariesathena is saying, because I think I will be more informed to explain to my mother my disinterest in the sciences having taken actual college courses. However, if I take pre-med courses, will that not jeapordize my GPA, if I have no interest in actually putting forth a 100% effort?</p>

<p>Hmm...more to think about in the coming days. Honestly, I appreciate everything you all have posted. It has really helped me out in this uncomfortable time...</p>

<p>One of the problems on this board or any other is that everyone tends to "universalize" his or her own experience. </p>

<p>If the OP doesn't like science, it's not likely he is going to get good grades in it--especially at a school like Duke which has a gazillion enthusiastic premeds. Take science courses to please mom, get mediocre grades in them, and the OP will have hurt his chances of getting into a top law school.</p>

<p>But aren't the pre-med courses (at least for the first semester) helping to fulfill distribution requirements anyways?</p>

<p>Eric,</p>

<p>If the OP really dislikes science he may be better off taking nutrition, astronomy, and some other science for non-majors instead of struggling through the bio/chem/physics/Ochem series, to please her mom. </p>

<p>I have to go with Jonri here. Unless the OP feels up to tackling some tough science courses for 'As', I firmly believe he'll be better off staying away from these; especially at Duke. However, if mom is paying part of the bill, and the OP is up for those courses, the premed sciences with 'As' will look really good when he applies to LS.</p>

<p>W&M;)</p>