<p>As the parent of a D1 athlete, I agree that the process can be confusing. I would be much better if I had to do it again. I hate to be too cynical, but the one thing you need to remember is that you are there to protect your child's interests and be the bad guy. Your kid is the happy, good cop and you are the bad cop. That means your child should be telling the coach how much he likes the school, their program, and would commit right now if only his parents would sign off, and the parent should be asking the coach the hard questions like, "Are you offering my child, when does your current contract expire, etc" And it you aren't asking, then look it up online. Almost every school has an online forum for their sports teams. I know in football and BB, it is Scout.com or Rivals.com. Become a member and start reading what the fans are saying. Take all of the negativity, subtract half and you will get a feel for what is going on. Non-revenue sports may be a little harder to find, but boards do exist. Look up ex-players and call their parents. I did this through a connection I found and got an earful about one coach from three sets of parents. No one currently connected with the school will ever tell you the truth. Current athletes and their families have a vested interest in being extremely loyal to the coach, even if they hate him. </p>
<p>CHOOSE THE SCHOOL, NOT THE COACH. Yes, make sure the coach is someone your child wants to work with, but they leave, die, get fired, etc. The recruiting relationship is akin to a courtship/honeymoon phase. Once the athlete is on campus, the relationship is more likely to be that of a powerful employer who's chief concern is productivity. I do not know about D2 or D3 sports, but if you are thinking a college coach will be a parental substitute in any way, I personally have not found that to be the case. Their interest in your child is similar to your boss' interest in how you can help him meet his numbers that quarter.
Do not forget that kids get injured all of the time. D1 sports are grueling and not every athlete can play all four years. Make darn sure they are at a school they would choose even if they never play a minute of their sport. Finding the right school should be the top priority. Unless your child is an olympic athlete or a future first round pick professionally, then they need to pick a school they like without the sport.</p>
<p>One HUGE mistake I made was to view the schools through the eyes of the athletic department on official and unofficial visits we made. In retrospect, I wish I had taken the time to attend information sessions meant for the general public. I had the luxury of time since I knew my son would be offered at certain schools and I wasted it. I now know that, even though my son loves his current school, there was a better school for him and his eventual area of study that we wrote off after a visit with the coaches and cheerleaders where we only talked of the sport and athlete perks like tutoring, etc. If I had taken the time to attend a general info session, I would have learned a lot more about the school's academics and alumni connections.
One more thing to remember, recruiting is a very different game for each athlete depending on how hot a commodity he is. If he is a top 10 in the nation, "program-changing" athlete, and colleges are knocking down his door, then he holds a lot of power during the recruiting process. He can make coaches wait for his decision, forget to return their calls, and generally handle things however he likes. A lower ranked athlete needs to recognize their station and act appropriately. No matter what coach tells you, they are recruiting lots of kids at your child's position. It is okay to ask how many. They will lie, but at least they know you are paying attention. Your athlete MAY be their number one choice, but they will take number two if they can get a commitment. Look up the team roster and see where your athlete will be on the depth chart. If the crew team has four sophomores ahead of your son at the same position, that will likely affect his minutes. Do they have a zillion walk-ons? One big sports school I know had 47(!) kids on their water polo team. That is like seven full teams. The kids would be rotated in and out of these levels and many would not travel or attend competitions.
I could go on and on. We should have a sports board so different topics could be addressed. Good luck with your son. If you can afford to visit on your own, there is no shame in scheduling an unofficial. Your son can get to know the coaches and they him without the pressure of them waiting until they know for sure he is the ONE they want to offer. If there is a school your son likes and fits in with crew-wise (i.e. similar times, similar physical attributes, etc), then visit early and often and try to get an offer. Although my son had an offer when he took an unofficial to the school he ended up at, his declared love of the school and obvious fit academically led the coaches to wait for him to commit, even when a higher ranked athlete expressed interest in the program.</p>