Baltimore Sun: Hovering Parents Bully High School Teachers

Parent Cafe
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<p>....makes sense that college is not the only environment where insertive parents speak their mind....</p>

<p>Hovering</a> parents bully teachers -- baltimoresun.com</p>

<p>Intro

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Carroll County school officials told a grandmother to stop coming to her grandchild's class after she spent two weeks studying the teacher. A Baltimore County teacher recalls being threatened physically by a parent who happened to be a boxer.</p>

<p>And in Howard County, overbearing parents are becoming such a concern that more than half the teachers surveyed say they have experienced "harassing behavior."</p>

<p>For the past two years, 60 percent of the teachers responding to a job satisfaction survey conducted by the Howard County Education Association reported that they have been subjected to harassment. Last year's survey specifically identified parents as the offenders in 60 percent of the cases.

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<p>More....

[quote]
But many educators say they are seeing a rise in such behavior, due in part to the growing use of technology such as e-mail and online progress reports. And DeLacy and others in the profession say that the demands placed on teachers have hurt retention, particularly among special education instructors.</p>

<p>"Teachers are leaving teaching because of parents," DeLacy said. "The turnover is incredible. I have teachers who refuse to teach special education."</p>

<p>Affluent areas such as Howard County are fertile ground for demanding parents, said Helen E. Johnson, an author and consultant to colleges on parental involvement. Parents typically have time and resources, and are motivated by social status to have their children reflect positively on them, she said.

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<p>After my daughter had been in high school for over two years, I was speaking with the parents of two of her classmates, who were describing all their daily contact with their kids’ teachers…they email almost daily to find out about progress, plus they know the kids exact grades and test scores on everything so they can argue about the final grade plus they review every paper and test and quiz the kid gets back and call the teacher to complain. And apparently this unrelenting attention motivates the teacher to change the grade so the parent will go away (for a while)…I’m pretty sure some of my daughter’s lower class rank is due to the fact that neither she nor I ever challenge anything. </p>

<p>On the positive side, when I have met her teachers, they always say what a great kid she is. Perhaps because we don’t complain. I hope that shows up in recommendations…</p>

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<p>Parents wonder why there are entrance requirements for Honors and AP classes- this is why. Teachers and admins know that parents of students who would benefit from the challenge, but will probably be lucky to get out with a B in the class, are going to be a thorn in their sides. Our high school established rules according to 10th grade standardized tests- basically only the tip top students are allowed to take AP courses. Parents don’t want Sally to get anything less than A’s, so the teacher’s reaction- just don’t let Sally in the class.</p>

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<p>Doubleplay - that’s a very, very sad comment. There is just so much wrong going on these days.</p>

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<p>btw, the article mentions the Howard Co schools implementing a civility policy in response…in fact the entire county is on a civility campaign, inspired in part by the work of PM Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins who studies and speaks on civility (a wonderful speaker I might add).</p>

<p>some related web sites:
Howard Co’s campaign: [Choose</a> Civility - Home](<a href=“http://www.choosecivility.org/]Choose”>http://www.choosecivility.org/)
Dr Forni’s Civility web site: [JHU</a> Dr. Forni’s Civility Website](<a href=“http://web.jhu.edu/civility]JHU”>http://web.jhu.edu/civility)</p>

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<p>Here’s a problem.

And here is the driver.

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<p>Our school has kids’ grades for assignments and tests online. We do check it on a weekly basis, but if something is incorrect, it is up to the kids to discuss with the teacher. I have e-mailed a couple of my son’s teachers this school year (only once!), with specific concerns about how he is doing and asking for suggestions for him to improve his performance. I see a wide range of parents, from those who don’t care much about their children’s grades to those who are constantly in contact with teachers, I feel like I am in the acceptable middle ground.</p>

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<p>Or you could go to a school where the admin bully the parents. Flash back to a group of people talking about some issues they had had with the school. </p>

<p>question ‘who have you had dealings with’
chorus of answers ‘Dr x’
response ‘yes he’s really mean’</p>

<p>Sadly this was parents talking - not students.</p>

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<p>My home school district had a similar sort of policy as well. However, often parents could still bully teachers and administrators into letting their kids take the advanced classes. Often times it would result in the kid doing poorly (most students scoring over an 80 on an exam, said students falling closer to 40%) and getting much less out of the class than they would if they had taken an honors or standard class. I think the policy was actually abolished recently, as the super-intendant’s kid just got to be high school age and they’re also special education, but since he wants them to be able to take those classes, he lead a campaign to remove the restrictions.</p>

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<p>heh. I check my son’s online grades almost daily. I rarely email a teacher, though all of them have encouraged me to email them with any concerns.</p>

<p>The online system is great; my only complaint about it is that I would like to know of upcoming assignments/exams. Information is usually put in after the fact. My son is still learning how to deal with homework (this is the first year he’s had real homework on a regular basis), and needs some prodding in the organizational skills area (as in, he has none, and we’re trying to teach him some). Knowing what’s coming up would be helpful.</p>

<p>Regarding helicoptering, I’m sure some parents do this. (Of course, I’m perfect and would never be accused of such a thing.) I suspect, however, that part of this is simply the change in society from when many of the parents went to school. They may feel their parents (read: mothers) were more in touch with what was going on with them and their schoolwork. It’s sometimes hard to get information about a class, what the kid is supposed to be working on, how we as parents can help the school in its mission and support the learning that goes on (we hope) in school. </p>

<p>And sometimes (oh, I’m going to get flamed for this, I’d bet…), a teacher or adminstrator simply does dumb things. Some teachers are, alas, not very bright. (I hasten to add I know this is true for all professions, that some practitioners are at the bottom of the bell curve for that profession; I’m not picking on teachers.) And, and this is important, teachers are human. (I KNOW! What a revelation!) They have their likes and dislikes. My S had one teacher who didn’t like math; she liked reading and literature. Nothing wrong with that, except the class ended up with something like fifteen periods of reading a week, and three of math, and during one of the three math periods/week, the class animal’s cage was cleaned.</p>

<p>My ex and I apparently were the only parents who noticed and asked about the schedule. And the homework (when there was any). And the curriculum (never got answers on that one). And after more than a year (yeah, my son had her for two years, for 5th and 6th grade) of trying to get decent math instruction for our kid, we got the principal and head of curriculum involved. Eventually, we had our son take math online, with the school’s blessing, because they knew it was going to happen regardless.</p>

<p>I’m sure that teacher felt harassed.</p>

<p>RacinReaver, my son is a special ed student. 1480 on the CR/M SAT, in 8th grade. He’s signed up for two AP courses next year; he’s currently a freshman. Apparently he met the school’s criteria (yes, the school does have some) for taking them.</p>

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<p>I hate to see this happenning, being such a booster of my kids’ teachers. Their job is tough enough without having to deal with a bunch of pushy parents. I hear about parents all the time saying, “they didn’t want DD in honors algebra but I insisted” etc. Then the next year I hear how the kids are barely slogging along with lots of tutoring. Our son didn’t make it into AP Euro History for next year even though he’s got a A in the class, so I POLITELY asked why in an e-mail and got a reasonable, acceptable answer. (other kids did better on the qualifying test. That’s fine with me.) Why don’t we leave teaching to the teachers?</p>

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<p>I have a different view. We also have an on-line system. I never check. they are my kids’ grades–not mine.</p>

<p>We did intervene once. After S1 graduated and was off for a PG year, it was clear that one of his final grades had been figured wrong according to the formula. Since he was away and it could have affected his college admission, we dealt with it.</p>

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<p>EMM,</p>

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<p>I hope to get to that point!</p>

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<p>I have no problem with special education students taking advanced classes so long as they won’t be detrimental to the rest of the students. My dad teaches an engineering course at a local school that’s the equivalent on an AP course and he’s had his share of special ed students which have been a pleasure. On the other hand, he’s also had students (of special education and otherwise) that are a complete handful and disrupted class every day, but he had no way to remove them due to overly involved parents pretty much forcing their will on him.</p>

<p>My comment about the superintendant’s kid was that they have a reputation for not being able to quite keep up with the normal coursework, so it’s questionable if what he’s doing is actually in the best interests of the student, or something to try and make himself look better.</p>

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<p>As a student whose parents would never bully a teacher into raising a grade (one being a teacher herself, and both saying that grades are my responsibility, which I agree with), I hate nothing more than when my friends tell me “oh, I was getting a C+, but my mom threw a s***fit and the teacher gave me a B-.” I have a C+ on my transcript (79.2… oh, how angry I was…), and I accept that. I probably could have gotten the teacher to raise it (I think he knows I love the subject; I’m just lazy), but I didn’t. It’s my fault, my responsibility, and it’s detrimental to maturing into a healthy adult to go to running for help from Mommy every time I fail in anything.</p>

<p>I have no respect for anyone, student or parent, who do this sort of thing. (Admittedly, though, I’m a little more sympathetic to the student who talks to the teacher. Having a parent do it is cowardly.)</p>

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<p>Zamzam–you will flourish with that attitude. It also goes for parental interference with the HS’ punishment for bad behavior. The student “stepped in it” not the parent and the student should have to deal with the outcome. Yes, even if the outcome is very harsh. </p>

<p>Parents will not always be there to rescue their child.</p>

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<p>RacinReaver,</p>

<p>My point was that “special ed” doesn’t necessarily mean “can’t keep up,” which seemed to be how you were using it. I don’t blame you for using it that way; a lot of people do! I’m trying to let you (and others) know that special ed covers a lot of territory, including very bright but anxious, deaf, on the autistic spectrum (which covers a wide range in and of itself, in impairment and in gifts), in a wheelchair, blind, etc. Many people don’t consider the wide range of possibilities that come with the label “special ed.” If you mean “can’t keep up,” I think it’s okay to say that!</p>

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<p>Again, this is all so disturbing. I must be having a bad day. I guess to some extent it’s the inevitable outcome of the “me” generation raising kids. Sad thing is it’s really everyone’s problem, the buttinski parents, teachers that sway instead of being firm because they fear the repercussions… all impact everyone’s kids, I’m sure it happens in all schools. Frankly I think the world will be a better place when a C is a C and is the class average and gosh darn if some kid wants to tackle a harder class I say let 'em, just don’t grade on a curve. The real “exceptional” children are few and far between and more common the “exceptional” children are merely exceptional in their parents eyes. And yes, there is a clinical title and probably a drug for every behavior that doesn’t fit some prescriptive vision of the “perfect student”. Not to mention an anti-bacterial for every crevice of our lives so that kids can get the “never missed a day of school award”…one of my personal all time favorites. My advice to parents micromanaging their families into perceived perfection, is to pick your battles, because you just might win the battle and lose the war. The whole topic is just sad, all too sad.</p>

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<p>owlice, sorry if it came across that way. I think my in my former district they considered people that couldn’t keep up with the normal classes “special education.” There was a deaf kid that was left in whichever classes he wanted to go to, and he did perfectly fine. The Special Education classroom was next to my locker and most of the kids in there were either severely troubled or had a significant learning disorder such that they were taking mostly all remedial classes. =/</p>

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<p>As a parent who never met any of my kid’s high school teachers, with the exception of the ones who nominated them for NHS, I am appalled by the hovering of some of the parents. How do you expect your kids to ever become independant students capable of doing their own work and being responsible if you don’t give them any credibility ?
Really, give them some breathing room. Unless your kids have legit troubles, let them grow up and prepare.</p>