I think only one poster thinks random assignment sororities are a good idea as far as I can tell.
I have mixed feelings about my time in this thread. On one hand it has added to my growing middle aged cynicism about human nature. On the other hand, since my own college experience was as a commuter student at a school where most students were also, I have very little first hand knowledge about this aspect of college life. This has added something to my understanding and my ability to help my own kids through the process.
It is extremely important to me that I raise the kind of kids with the courage to speak up like Melanie Gotz at U of A did. http://www.marieclaire.com/culture/news/a10379/revolution-on-sorority-row-september-2014/
I consider myself largely a failure if that is not who they are.
I hate affirmative action and quotas based upon principle. For the first time I may be willing to concede it is the only way certain things will ever change.
How much does all of this even matter in the case of a voluntary social organization? I am still thinking about that too.
âWe tend to seek out people who are like us, but we think it is wrong for our kids to do that.â
Not all of us seek out those like us. The best living situation I ever had was 2 years in an international students dorm where there were 120 of us from 30+ countries. We were ages 18 to 60, a huge variety of races, religions, languages and personal experiences. Very few of us started out âalike,â but incredible friendships were formed that have lasted in spite of huge distances, international conflicts, and varying political views. There are International Houses in Philadelphia, New York, Washington DC, London, and in many other cities throughout the US and the world. They are a great option for students who arenât looking to live with people just like they are.
Both of my kids studied abroad. I made a point of having them live with the locals instead of with international students.
Friendship is usually based on some sort of commonality.
âLol sororities are more than dorms.â
Depends on how it is done.
At ND, you live in the same single sex dorm for four years. Kids play on intra-mural sports teams formed by the dorm. They do fund-raiser type events run by the dorm. They have dorm social events and dorm traditions. The kids attend Mass in the dorm chapel. ND alums always ask each other which house they lived in.
Their system is intentionally designed to be greek-lite. You get some of the social unit benefits but without rush, hazing, etc.
Residential colleges are another variation on the same theme.
I consider attending the same university a commonality.
It is logical to me that international students would form friendships, as they have something big in common that is different from the rest of the student body, regardless of where they are from. Isnât it typical for expats from all over to hang out in foreign countries?
@bay About half of our 120 were from the local country. But they were a wide variety of people as well, from different states, urban and rural communities, etc. One of my best friends had been a doctor in Antarctica. Quite a bit different from my own experience.
For my circle of close fiends: 3 Hispanics, 2 AA, 2 Polynesian, 2 Causcausn, best friend Asian. So, I think I run with a rather diverse and balanced circle of friends. Known all of them 25plus years. Common denominator among the groupâadvanced degrees. Several attorneys, a couple MDs, a couple PhDs, and a few MBAsâŠ
@MommaJ - DD is not in a sorority (nor does she plan to ever join one), is not an ounce overweight (because sheâs an athlete), and has long hair (cause thatâs what she prefers). She is in the top 1% academically (by any measure you want to apply). She chose to go to UA turning down more âhighlyâ ranked colleges with even better scholarship offers. Why - one reason was to get away from the phony purveyors of womenâs rights who are just fine with a women doing well, just as long as theyâre not prettier or smarter or of a higher social standing than themselves. Those sentiments came through loud and clear when touring or communicating with East/West coast and Northeast colleges. These kids are very perceptive in ways that adults are not. What makes a college âgoodâ in an adultâs mind is very different that what makes a college âgoodâ in a studentâs mind.
If you look at their common data set, youâll see that UA already has a lot of âtalentedâ students, not just of the football variety.
âthe phony purveyors of womenâs rights who are just fine with a women doing well, just as long as theyâre not prettier or smarter or of a higher social standing than themselves.â
Sorry @menefrega, but fewer and fewer people are buying this sad, tired line with each passing day.
âFor my circle of close fiends: 3 Hispanics, 2 AA, 2 Polynesian, 2 Causcausn, best friend Asian. So, I think I run with a rather diverse and balanced circle of friends. Known all of them 25plus years. Common denominator among the groupâadvanced degrees. Several attorneys, a couple MDs, a couple PhDs, and a few MBAsâŠâ
So they are all highly educated and presumably high SES as a result.
Why is it ok for you and me to hang around predominantly high SES friends, but not so for college students?
Just think about how we socialize, do we go out to eat, have each other over for dinner, or travel together sometimes. If your friendâs casual night out is $500+ and your idea of a good time is $50, how often are you going to get together?
BoolaHi - your friends maybe racially diverse, but they are from the same SES.
OF, I belong to a group of hobbyists who meet once a month in each otherâs homes. Some homes are modest, others are very large and expensive. One person has a very small apartment and arranges for us to meet at the local library. SES is across the board, but we are all very enthusiastic about our hobby. And these friendships carry over outside the group, as well.
Nope, four of us grew up in public housing. We might be in a different economic brackets now, but that was certainly not the case for most of my crew. Other prominent feature, five of us grew in single parent homes run by woman.
I sense an assumption that SES is always tied to educational levelâŠ
^^My point is that we can either make excuses for staying in our SES/racial/religious/cultural silos, or we step out of them and see who else is out there. A book group started eight years ago at my Dâs school by parents has Muslim, Christian and Jewish members, and remains hugely popular. Itâs not hard. Opportunities are out there.
Re #434
Educational attainment is typically considered part (not all) of SES or correlated with it. Looks like your circle had diverse SES origins, though eventual high educational attainment has narrowed the range as adults.
Sometimes, sometimes not.
I think itâs interesting though that it is really important for rich/white/preppy/blondes from Alabama to welcome all comers, when it seems apparent that not everyone else would welcome rich/white/preppy/blondes from Alabama. (And I kind of include myself in that, to be honest. I could get along with the Alpha Phis at Alabama and appreciate certain things about them, but I donât know that theyâd be my very first choice in Girls Iâd Hang Out With.)
âWhen I read that some sociopath from an elite private boarding school was admitted to Harvard to study theology of all thingsâ
Itâs tangential to the thread, but this meme in the press has to be wrong â there is no undergrad program in theology at Harvard. There is a major in comparative study of religion, but that isnât theology. It makes me wonder what other errors in that story are being repeated from one article to the next.
What is interesting about our group, many finitiated in our early 20s, is only two of the group came from families with previous college degrees or any money to speak of ( and I mean living in the middle class. So, there was no positioning to be a part of another income class. We all had no idea where we end up, and so that is both the bonding and great delight of this 4 decade relationship.