Sorry, I’m confused (ex-sorority girl here, bear with me). It’s nice that boolaHI and Midwestdad have friends they like from diverse backgrounds but do these friendships result from some effort to assemble a group (ie, we already have 2 asians but we are accepting applications from native americans over 45), or do they evolve naturally through common interests? Are people from different racial/cultural backgrounds better friends as a result?
Somehow, I’m sensing some “I’m superior because of my ethnically diverse friend circle” here from both of you. Do you really think your friendships are superior to those of us whose friends come from similar backgrounds to our own?
"^^My point is that we can either make excuses for staying in our SES/racial/religious/cultural silos, or we step out of them and see who else is out there. A book group started eight years ago at my D's school by parents has Muslim, Christian and Jewish members, and remains hugely popular. It's not hard. Opportunities are out there."
And this is what we’re going to have to do to become positive examples for kids, so that a lasting lesson we leave them is this: you hang out with people because of who they are, not based on their color. And if you don’t have adequate experience with people who are different from you, get to know them first before you judge them.
Things are a lot better than they were in the (for instance) '60s, but we still deal with racial bigotry and discrimination. So – is it wrong, per se, for these ladies to not try to target more minority members? No. First Amendment and all. But it would surely be helpful to race relations in general if they’d try a bit harder to step outside their comfort zone.
That does not mean that minorities will join in droves, at least initially… but efforts to recruit them certainly couldn’t hurt. The simple act of offering companionship/sisterhood would go a long way toward ending any possible feelings of exclusion/alienation.
If I had to say, outside of Portland, OR, I have lived in the 3 most diverse cities in the U.S.: LA, San Francisco and NYC. And all of that, living in the city, not a suburb.
@Hanna, if the press is getting it wrong, it’s likely because Owen Lavrie himself stated it to be so. And also that he was accepted to Harvard with a “full scholarship,” which I assume to mean that his family’s EFC was 0 and that he was offered full FA to attend the school. (I personally wondered if that was true, but I suppose it’s possible. How much money can a family make and still be entitled to a free $240,000 education for their kid? And contrast Lavrie’s FA to that of Ronald Nelson, the kid who was accepted to every Ivy and chose Bama’s elite University Fellows program instead because it would have been a stretch for his parents to pay his EFC at those very generous Ivies, including Harvard.)
Look, Harvard accepted this kid (regrettably, I’m sure). It seems to me the onus is on them to help correct “this meme.” Their media relations office should contact the reporters covering this story and set the record straight.
Part of that mentality is because being rich/white/preppy/blondes means one is accepted into the social and economic power structures of Alabama, US/Western society, and areas of the world heavily influenced by US/Western norms.
Same reason why there were many calls for formerly all-male elite colleges like Harvard, Yale, Columbia, etc or military academies like West Point to include women whereas there’s not the same level of calls for Women’s Colleges like Wellesley to go Co-ed.
It’s also similar reasoning why making jokes about marginalized folks such as the homeless is increasingly becoming less acceptable and regarded by serious comedians as “not real satire/bad comedy” whereas making fun of the political/social/economic elites is. Good comedy/satire is supposed to be social commentary which “punches up” at the privileged and powerful…not used as a cudgel to bully those who are not powerful or worse, who are already down and struggling.
I don’t agree with “punching up” anyone because of their race or SES status; there is nothing to be admired about doing that. Certainly these beautiful blond women may have serious personal problems of their own, just like anyone of any color. It could turn out that being invited to join this house is the best that happens to them in their lifestimes. But now this has been destroyed by anonymous internet posters who label them things like, “vapid Barbie bimbos” and “bubble-headed ninnies” as was done on this thread. Nice job punching them into their place.
You’re forgetting that the girls in this video made an affirmative choice to join an organization which has had a long history of being part of the establishment power structure…especially in the south. They’ve also have had serious issues with social exclusionary practices on the basis of not only SES and regional/family connections, but also racial issues per the 2013 scandal on that very campus.
If one chooses to join an organization with such a history, one is also implicitly accepting the reputation which comes with it…both the positives and negatives.
You never explicitly said so, but I assume you had some point in reciting the racial/ethnic origins of all your friends. If it wasn’t that it’s better to have a racially/ethnically a group of friends then what was your point in mentioning it? Actually, it was more Midwestdad who seemed to be feeling very superior about his gang because of their physical/economic diversity so my query was more directed at him.
Sometimes it happens that we make close friends from many different backgrounds organically but to make a point of acquiring a Benneton ad-type social group to show how broadminded we are seems odd to me.
http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-most-diverse-cities-are-often-the-most-segregated/ discusses diversity and integration/segregation level in various cities. New York is the fourth most diverse large city in the US by the measure that they use (Jersey City, Oakland, and Sacramento are more diverse), but Los Angeles and San Francisco are not in the top ten (Chicago is #7 and San Jose is #10).
Both New York and Los Angeles are below the trendline in the graph of neighborhood diversity relative to citywide diversity, though not as far below as Chicago, Baltimore, and St. Louis. Sacramento is highly diverse at both the city and neighborhood level and is above the trendline.
I found the video quite boring, actually. What’s interesting is how it’s become the trigger for such misogyny, regional prejudice, and class envy or resentment. If you don’t respect these girls and don’t want to be a part of their group, what do you care what they do or how they market themselves to potential members? It’s not as if one has to pledge Alpha Phi at the University of Alabama in order to have a decent life. If that were the case, I’d feel differently, but it isn’t.
Everyone has some point of personal pride (“I’m skinny and pretty,” “I have high SATS,” “I have the correct opinions about [fill in the blank],” “I hang out with the right people [however defined].” These are just college kids and they aren’t doing anything illegal. I don’t get the condemnation.
I dunno about this whole Bennetton example, first their clothes don’t fit me, (not a lot of places have 34 waist, inseam 38). My point being, if you came up in Monterry Park, the Inner Richmond, East Oakland or Morningside Heights/central Harlem, (all places I have lived and owned homes) well, by almost default most of your friends will be color. While their might be a conscription of interests, it’s not like one is trying to compose an orchestra of color…it just is.
Like, I have repeatedly said, while I don’t care or have any affection for Kale (despite my spouses great overtures) if you say their is historical and documented systemic discrimination perpetuated by the group, well, I’m not going to stand idly by like a wallflower. Especially at a place like Alabama which is replete with horrific conduct towards its AA population, and especially applied to its institutions of higher learning.
People tend to hang out with others like themselves. Sociologists who studied the Greek system back in the 1960s found that the groups that were least diverse provided the greatest satisfaction to the members.
Different groups attract different types of kids. On most campuses people can describe a stereotypical member of a number of fraternities and sororities. The reason they can do this is because there is a lot of truth behind the stereotype.
My point is that all but three of the AA women who wanted to pledge at Alabama did. What else can they do? You can demand they do some type of outreach to AA women, I suppose. You can demand they offer free dues to entice them to join?