I wonder how tolerant Barnard students are of socially conservative religious students, who dress modestly and believe sex is for marriage.
Assume the student is comfortable with different views and religions, doesn’t go around spouting hate, doesn’t freeze up when finding out someone is gay. Yet firmly believes their way is the right way, and does NOT believe “all religions and beliefs are equally good as long as you are sincere”. (Which I think IS hate according to many people today.)
I don’t really understand the part about hate in your last sentence, but there are 2,500+ students at Barnard, and they are not homogenous. You will get a pretty big range of attitudes. Most will be live and let live / not particularly interested much less invested in the choices you make for yourself. Lots will happily engage in serious discussion of the relative merits of their world view v your world view, and many of those will be just as certain as you are that their way is the only right way. Some will generally agree with your views. And there will probably be at least a few who will be in your (and everybody else’s) face about their way being the best way. The great thing is that you get to decide what your boundaries are: what you share, who you discuss your views with, who you tell to please respect your boundaries.
For many students it will be their first time encountering people with very different viewpoints; for others it will be the first time that they are in a minority, and for some it will be their first time in a majority. A lot of students will be doing a lot of adjusting.
But one of the things that Barnard explicitly selects for is students who are going somewhere: students who have serious goals and ambitions and the smarts and self-discipline to get there. And while all of them-including you-are doing the hard work of morphing into adults, the larger focus is where they are going. Your views on how to dress and how to handle personal relationships are not really relevant when working with classmates on passing the OChem final, writing internship applications, achieving a team goal or even a late night conversation imagining how an ambition can be achieved.
tl;dr- learning your own boundaries, where/how to draw them and knowing when they are relevant is part of life in any non-homogenous society.
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There is a lot of diversity at Barnard. The student will find his/her place. My question for you is why the student wants to go there? Sounds like you are questioning fit for the student. Is this student, in fact, looking to be more open minded? What is the draw? There are many more conservative institutions with good academics.
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Barnard is the " school of choice" for many conservative/religious young women whose families would have had them live at home and commute to a local college had they not gotten in to Barnard. The dorms are single sex, there are clusters of Muslim, Orthodox Jewish women, etc. students who dress modestly and don’t engage in sex before marriage. In some instances, they are the first women in their families to attend a residential college but Barnard is able to provide what their parents are looking for.
Specifically- what is the concern?
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We live in a world today where we watch/listen to/socialize in our own channels/groups that reinforce our own views (and sometimes prejudices). We become more close-minded even as the world become more connected. Do we really want colleges to become another place where like-minded people congregate, instead of a place to learn and examine new ideas?
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You are right, but the question itself gives me pause. Sadly, some students want more people like themselves.
Thank you for your comments. (I’m a parent) They are helpful to me. A variety of beliefs is good–but I am scared by the amount of hate directed at conservatives and Christians in, say, the comments to articles in the NY Times. Hopefully that is people being worse online than they are in person. (I know there is tons of hate produced on the right too. Not from me) Some people with strong personalities can shrug it off. I’m quiet and not so strong, I think my daughter is also. I don’t know if I could handle it.
I think you are saying I don’t have to worry about it.
@LAReader, imo, all comments sections are best avoided! Mostly anger & vitriol, rarely thoughtful, constructive responses.
Two things, one external and one internal:
Externally, Barnard works pretty hard in the application process to select young women who they believe will thrive in their school. It’s the piece in the ‘why did student A get in but student B who looks stronger on paper not get in’ that people underestimate. The Barnard admissions team knows the school, they see who thrives there and they look for those characteristics in the students they admit. Obviously they don’t always get it right! But it has a super-high retention rate (students who stay on for 2nd year), which says they mostly do. So, in a sense Barnard will be watching out for your daughter: they won’t admit a student that they aren’t convinced will thrive in their environment.
Internally, well, it’s your daughter, your girl, your baby standing on the edge of the high diving board and there is simply no way not to be a little anxious as she jumps- even though you have seen her practice, working her way up as she navigates primary and secondary school (middle too, if you are in a school system that does that). I am a huge believer in Maria Montessori’s axiom to “follow the child”: if your daughter is offered a place and is excited to go, trust her, and be happy for her. Come share your worries in the parent café here on CC- a great place to get info and support as you and she go through this process of starting to fly the nest!
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Barnard students come from a very broad mix and WIDE range of backgrounds, cultures, religions, orientations, convictions – or lack thereof. You’ll have conservative Jews with kosher desk lamps sharing a room with agnostic socialists. Remember, the young women there are high achievers and they typically are more focused on their goals and classes than trying to search conflicts where there are none.
Yes, some people will be “activists” for whichever cause, and if your daughter feels she needs to take a a public stand on her conservatism, or religion, and preach it to others - then she shall have the debate that she apparently is seeking, just like any other person.
On the other hand, if she just want to be left in peace with whatever her choices are, there’ll be many hundreds of others who will prefer the same - even if their individual choices are different.
As far as “dress modestly” and “sex is for marriage” – you may think that these are earth-shattering concepts, but in reality, she’s neither the only person, nor the first person to feel that way, so why would anyone care? This is not a little-town high school where hormones are running high and “popular girls” calls the shots.
This is an elite college where people come to study and advance themselves - one step from being professionals. People can dress as they like and whatever their parents can afford - or according to their limited finances. Yes, you’ll see your fair share of “Canada Goose” jackets and fashionable outfits, you’ll see some people dressing very casually - and some people making the point of NOT wanting to advertise their privilege.
My daughter happens to like the retro-look and gets a kick from shopping at Thrift stores and trading outfits with fellow students for added variety. She intentionally has NOT gotten the latest electronic gimmick that was in vogue, just because she did not want to be part of any herd.
Again - being in NYC, the “rules” of small-town colleges out in the country simply don’t apply. She’ll be living in a great international Metropolis, quite literally the Capital of the World (U.N. Headquarters), and just happens to go to college there. She won’t stand out one bit among the other 20 Million people there.
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Simply put, if your daughter’s views don’t involve interfering with other’s lifestyles/beliefs, she should be fine. Barnard women are a diverse bunch and all are united by mutual respect. She will find religious and conservative students alongside very liberal ones. How she lives her life is entirely her choice and I doubt anyone would come at her for that. As long as she doesn’t criticise others for, say, wearing revealing clothing, participating in socialist politics or kissing people of the same gender, she shouldn’t expect to be treated with any less respect.
Barnard, and New York overall, is a beautifully diverse place- I have no doubt your daughter can find her place within it.
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Why not go to a conservative college if you’re so scared about it? Who cares what people think? It’s not high school. Not unique and definitely not the only one there like that.