Basing my personal statement of this poem I wrote

Applying to College
1

<p>When I shut off all emotion, I can not recall.
When I put on the mask, I can not remember.
But what I do know is that I did both for a purpose;
To keep me strong, to keep me sane,
To ensure that I have another life
To which I can laugh,
Have joy, and experience happiness.
One may never even question my state of mental health.
I get the grades,
I receive academic awards frequently,
And yes, I am a teacher’s pet.
But my timid aura is not just coincidental by birth,
It has been enforced upon me
By constant sadness, depression, and reoccurring, problematic circumstances.
It makes me feel pleasure to have the highest marks,
To have one call me “smart”, “nice”, or “sweet”,
Because no one gives me these traits.
I feel the reason
I so strongly express them to others
Is because I do not want to trouble anyone
Like I have been troubled;
Harmed like I have been harmed,
Or even frightened as I have so often been frightened.
I will not take off the mask, at least not for now;
It is all I have left.</p>

<p>Different poem:</p>

<p>I hate the T.V.,
I hate the engine-roaring computer,
I hate the way my brother can simply escape this madness;
This false-lived life of unhappiness.
I hate how I can not speak,
Express what I feel,
And be casually excepting, by throwing away my open mind.
I hate how I must cover up who I really am
and what I so called “believe”.
I hate how I am secluded and left out, and cast aside as a sinner from this world.
I hate how they ignore my emotional state, my need, my thirst for help;
For now crying is my therapist, my emotional cure,
Because I have nothing else.</p>

<p>What do you think?- i am trying to get ready to write my personal statement, but my emotions and thoughts are so confused?
any advice to have a more structured idea of who I am and what my life story is?...how can someone view them-self as someone else does? Don't you hate it how someone else can describe you or help you write something better then you can sometimes?</p>

2

<p>You want colleges to WANT you. If you talk about how you are plagued beneath the surface by emotional problems, it’s not going to do you any favors!</p>

3

<p>Bad idea. This doesn’t tell anything colleges they want to know about you.</p>

4

<p>Whenever you writing a personal statement, keep in mind the purpose of it. The purpose, as was noted above, is to make you come across as an interesting and compelling candidate. As such, if anything that you include does not answer affirmatively the question, “does this make me a more compelling candidate,” then you probably shouldn’t use it.</p>

<p>The best approach for personal statements is to tell a compelling story about yourself that fits in with the general theme that you want your application to convey and that casts you in a positive light. This does not really do that, and as such I would avoid this approach.</p>

<p>If you would like to bounce essay topics off of me, feel free to message me.</p>