I’ve been lurking for a while and finding these discussions very useful. I have a sixth grade daughter who is looking to apply to a day school in the Boston area, primarily for hockey. We are looking at Nobles, BB&N and Rivers. I am curious about any current takes on the student culture at these schools, especially BB&N. I have read here, and heard anecdotally, that there is a pretty toxic materialist culture there–kids ostracized for not having the right clothes/vacations/etc. I realize that all of these schools have wealthy kids, but have heard enough of these stories about BB&N to be wary. My daughter really wants to apply so we are going ahead but I’m looking for more information.
I grew up in the Boston area and went to Milton back in the day, so am familiar with the schools reputations back then (Nobles not as good academically but similar to Milton, BBN similar to Milton, Rivers one or two tiers down academically). I know things have changed, though, so looking for current takes. Thanks!
My 2 students are recent Choate alumni, but we looked at day schools in the area including Winsor for girls. We couldn’t look at Belmont or Roxbury Latin. But we have friends whose kids went to all the above. In my experience, Winsor, Roxbury Latin, BBN and Milton are feeder schools to Harvard and other elites. Nobles grads do pretty well matriculation wise, though not as well as the aforementioned, similar to Belmont. Rivers as you state less prestigious, but every now and again, they surprise you. My kids both went to Rivers Music School which has an outstanding reputation. There’s also Faye (right?) that goes through 9th? and a couple other private day schools. I looked up Chauncy Hall and it was ranked something like second to the last in Massachusetts.
Don’t be too influenced by how many kids from these schools end up at Harvard or MIT. Many are the children of alumni or faculty and have a better-than-usual chance for admission regardless of which school they attend.
Honestly, I would not view BB&N kids as materialist. Especially in school, clothes, phones, etc. do not matter as much as it might seem. The kids are generally kind inside or outside of class, although, like all schools, things do occasionally happen outside of school. I do not attend the high school yet, but the culture there seems like a good one, and many of my fellow middle schoolers are looking forward to attending. One thing I have noticed, as the grade gets bigger and bigger, there is a group of friends for everyone, and that is the real gem of BB&N culture in my opinion.
If you are looking for a materialist though, just google “Casey Neistat.” These days, all he does is reviews of expensive products and expensive first-class plane rides.
EDIT: You are very correct about some kids being quite wealthy. However, there are plenty of popular kids who don’t have a mansion in Cape Cod (sort of, but not really exaggerating about wealth).
there’s also Brimmer and May, Fay not Faye, and Lawrence Academy in Groton, MA. Everyone knows Groton, but few know Lawrence Academy in Groton which I think is under valued. Over half of the 400 students it cites on its website are day students. To me, I think it may be worth zipping out route 2 if I lived in the Boston area to get a student either to Groton or Lawrence.
My son’s school is a feeder to Lawrence. I will tell you that many of those day students either live in or very close to Groton. Students that live closer to Boston tend to end up boarding by their junior year. One of the reasons we decided to look at boarding schools throughout NE was that if my son was going to end up boarding, we might as well let him go a bit further if he found a better fit and just start boarding as a freshman.
If you’re thinking of the commute, it’s against traffic in the morning so you get a break there, but Groton isn’t right off of the highway. It’s about 15 minutes west on RT119 from 495. Once you have to turn back, you’ll be sitting in a lot of traffic as there’s only one way out of Groton and everyone is traveling in the same directions. Then you also get to sit in traffic on Rt 2 heading east.
It’s a great school and my son’s classmates that end up there all seem to really love it.
@skawjw , I think – being at the other end of this process – that @vwlizard raises an interesting point. You may find a great day school option within a reasonable commute. But if you find yourself looking at more than 45 minutes each way to get more of what you want, you may very quickly be wishing you had considered boarding, which would open up a lot more options. As a Milton alum, you know enough about the BS world to understand the trade-offs. (And if your D is playing elite hockey and plans to continue, a day school may be your best/only option, so this advice may not be helpful at all!. )
I know lots of parents who felt really burnt out from the driving and kids who were exhausted by the time in the car. You are smart to be starting now, and remember that boarding may feel more viable in 2 years when your D is older too.
I would strongly recommend going to the schools ’ websites and seeing when they have home games, plays, etc. that you can attend. These are often a great way to see the culture of the school, particularly in a way that isn’t curated by the admissions office.
We also had DS attend summer camps at some of the local options we were considering just to see how the commute felt for a few weeks.
Interesting point about considering boarding. As of now, boarding is not on the table; neither my daughter nor we are interested in sending her away before college, though I know the commute is definitley an issue. Rivers has a bus both ways and Nobles has a morning bus that would work for us, so I think we can probably hack it. Both are about 30 mins from us, which is about the limit we could deal with for a commute. BBN is quite convenient (hence why I am torn about what I have heard about the culture!)
Good idea about attending games, etc!
Thanks for all the input; I’d still love to hear any stories, good or bad, about the student culture at any of these schools. Thanks!
They are all good. Good points raised about the commute. Lawrence Academy was an option for us because it was closer to where I worked, so go against traffic for drop off, then head to work versus driving home. I only mention it because LA is often overlooked, and definitely one to consider if it can work for you.
Have to admit I know nothing about the “cultures” at the day schools.
Our daughter attends Rivers, and it has turned out to be a perfect fit for her and our family. We also looked at Nobles and Winsor. We did not consider BB&N due to location.
At the start of the process, I thought Winsor was my first choice, based on reputation, college placement and my daughter’s ISEE scores and grades. However, when we actually visited the schools and attended parent receptions, it became clear that Rivers was the right fit. Winsor is an outstanding school academically, and the college placement is phenomenal. However, we thought the environment was too intense for adolescence, at least for my daughter. However, I know other girls who are thriving there. It really depends on your daughter’s personality. Nobles is also very impressive, but we did not feel that it was the best fit for us in terms of school culture.
Rivers offers outstanding academics in a healthy community. While the student body as a whole is probably not as academically strong as Winsor, the faculty does a fantastic job of meeting each student’s individual needs and will make sure your child is challenged. There is an amazing advisory program. Your child will be assigned to a small advisory group of about six students, and they will meet as group with one faculty member three times per week. That faculty member gets to know your child very well and will be your first point of contact for any issues or concerns about your child, whether academic or social. We are very pleased with my daughter’s academic experience. For what it’s worth, I also suspect Rivers’ academic reputation has lagged behind the reality of what the school is today. I have heard it said that people never pick school X or Y over Rivers – well, we did!
Rivers has a genuine commitment to character development, and that comes through in the school’s culture. There are are certainly very wealthy students there. However, the kids mostly dress very casually, and my daughter has not felt uncomfortable at all (she did NOT come from a fancy school).
Best of luck with your decision. Many schools offer receptions at the homes of current students. We found those receptions very helpful in terms of getting a feel for the schools’ cultures.
Interesting. This is really in the eye of the beholder. I have heard great things about Rivers. For our kiddo it was not a good fit however. We have heard that they have beefed up both the academics and the athletics. Don’t know much as it was crossed off early. Do know that it is good for music and did hear from a single source that it was none too friendly ( though I would discount this type of info as it is one person’s opinion only). BB&N: Used to be extremely prestigious ( back in the day was a real feeder to Harvard many decades ago) From our observations and some communication with an admin we know and other data points, it seems to no longer have the Wow factor. There is also talk about kids who started at an early age and all that entails. I have no idea how one could check on subjective factors for every grade. Again, check the things which are important to you. Seems to be moving in the wrong direction. Data was going down not up. Maybe it was the data points we chose as important. Nobles was impressive. Seem to be more in the category of growing stronger all the time. They have excellent matriculation. Get the sense that academics and athletics are equally strong. All of these schools have very wealthy students. All believe in character development. All believe in academic challenge. It’s really just about finding the right fit. I think visiting multiple times is the only way to get good data. That and speaking to current and former ( recent) students. Just remember people like to think that the item they “bought” is the best product. And all of these students have pockets of kids going to the best colleges and doing the most amazing things.
Hi. My son just went through middle school private school admission process. He was accepted to Belmont Hill, Nobles and Rivers. He is going to attend Rivers. He/we liked all of the schools for different reasons but he continually reported that he preferred the vibe of Rivers. When he sat in on classes he was disappointed when they ended. Teachers are excellent, encouraging, challenging, and apply their subjects to real life. Our son is an athlete – football and baseball AND loves science and math. We were hesistant about Rivers as their “brick and mortar” science facilities didn’t seem to match those of other schools but they are now constructing a state of the art science and visual art center. In the end, we were struggling between Nobles and Rivers. Our ego was leaning towards Nobles as it has such cache and historical reputation. And, it also is a wonderful school…the head of their middle school is incredibly impressivel. In the end, we tracked down 3 families who had children at Rivers and Nobles for various reasons. They ALL pointed us to Rivers…better teachers, better community, better school spirit, academically on par with Nobles but with more support. One mom told me her son plays hockey for Nobles where they had a home game against Rivers. Rivers sent a bus over to cheer on their team and hardly anyone was watching from Nobles. We are happy and excited for our son!
@Beluga20 Funny how every kid and family figures out what works for them. We didn’t choose Nobles either though it was in the top 3. Just seemed like the community didn’t have the closeness that others did. We also heard from multiple parties that sports were equal to academics in terms of interest. Nobles has one of the best matriculation lists ( much better than most) but you have to know what’s important. For us, it was the combination of academics, then community then sports and arts. Nobles seemed to be much stronger than most in STEM. (classes, programs and even opportunities). I have heard good things about Belmont Hill academically.