For those parents who have already sent a child away to boarding school - If you could go back in time what would you do during the spring and summer before the send-off in August/September? I can only imagine the many things that a rookie parent might not know about from practical things like getting immunization records to less obvious things like activities to fortify a bond with the child before they leave.
Speaking as a parent going through this for the first time, any advice is appreciated.
If I could go back in time…I’d still have my arms around him and never let him go. Of course, he’d still be rolling his eyes…
Three bits of advice - the first is from the school; make kiddo use alarm clock themselves and do not provide “back up” for getting up in the morning starting as soon as they are accepted.
Second bit of advice (from me) is do not buy clothes yet. We bought the “slacks, skirts” suggested in policy book. Big waste of money. Kids all wear shorts, jeans and flip flops (boys with shirt and tie at Ds school). Even for “sit down formal dinners”, kids shared everything (make sure it is all labelled) and you actually need very little of your own stuff in the beginning. By parent’s weekend kids will have a sense of what they really need/want and can use your help to fill in wardrobe gaps in the style they choose. But it is better to get there with minimal stuff and scope out the styles they like before getting a new wardrobe.
Third bit of advice - check out the “what to take to boarding school” lists on these threads. Mattress toppers are very much appreciated, my kids liked two, the memory foam plus the fluffy one. The dorm plastic mattresses are flat and hard.
@2prepMom Do both the memory foam topper and the feather bed stay put on the mattress? Once we visited my nephew, he was sleeping in a what to call… a tangled up mess?.. of… comforter, sheets, memory foam, and a laptop (!)… on the mattress. I don’t know if we could add one more ingredient, feather topper, to the mixture.
@payn4ward I was just thinking when we visited the BS kid is praying to get into the dorm he would be in was such a complete disaster area I almost didn’t want to touch anything. Multiple beds had no sheets, stuff thrown all over the floor. He loved it, and I thought to myself “Ah these are his people, he can live in squalor with his kind without his mother yelling at I’m every day to pick up after himself.” I think the permission to be your messy teenage self might have been the turning point for him in deciding he wanted to go to BS
At my son’s school, they have to keep their rooms relatively neat and clean. If they fail three inspections, they have to do a “super clean.” This keeps squalor in check. Of course, it doesn’t affect neatness at home. 
Squalor. That about covers it.
It is possible for the memory foam and feather toppers to remain neatly and firmly in place, but not in boyland. I believe testosterone is a form of supplemental gravity that causes all things to slouch toward and adhere to the floor in piles, impossible to pick up until June. It also seems to interfere with the arrangement of items on the desk, in backpacks, and closets. It is a powerful substance that counteracts all attempts at order. Probably best to just shut the door and back off. There is no antidote.
@choatiemom I don’t think it is limited to testosterone-laden individuals, if my daughter is anything to go by. Fortunately (for the school) there are daily room inspections with a more extensive one on Sundays…
yes, we were there on a Saturday and apparently several hours before the mandatory clean up before inspection. I suspect it might have looked SLIGHTLY better on a different day of the week
Inspections?!!! You don’t say! Which schools are these? I believe Choate inspects rooms once before move-in and perhaps the day after move-out, right before calling the exterminators.
My own advice from having lived through two “last summers at home”: Do not send them to camp if you don’t have to (for athletic/musical/other special interest reason), do not send their siblings to camp…to maximize the family time you have in those few months.
If you can afford to, definitely go on a family vacation. Maybe visit a place the BS kid has always wanted to go to. Or at the very least do some long weekends locally. Again, to “max out” the family time.
I differ from 2prepmom on the clothing thing. We definitely wanted our kid to be kitted out (she was coming from a uniform school so really the only clothes she had that were in dress code are what she interviewed in) and hit the outlets and other stores pretty hard in August. One suggestion that I have is to invest in a few classics (Hunters, Bean Boots, a nice blazer from J. Crew, etc.) and fill the rest of the stuff in with Target or Gap stuff because the kids are hard on clothes/they get lost.
Also, if you plan to get a fan, DO NOT wait and try to buy one locally (near the BS). We found that the stores are mostly sold out of the typical box-type fans by that point, and the rest are swallowed up by BS parents who made it to Walmart before you.
Here is my advice: the second you decide on a school, order your Bean boots. 
They are famously back-ordered and both boys and girls will want them (even if they say they don’t).
One more note on slobby boys in dorms: one boy was ostracized because he was not only a slob, but he would NOT stop keeping open food in his room-- so his dorm floor was infested with many many mice. Even those messy boys got mad at him. Don’t send the kids in with a lot of food that will stay around open and, if you send treats, maybe send a tin to keep them in-- unless they will all be consumed in one night, of course.
london203 speaks the truth. I went to our local Bean outpost two falls ago expecting to walk out with a pair for 7D2 and they sort of laughed at me. I bought them online in the Spring (after they’ve recovered from the college/prep school demand).
@daykidmom thanks for that visual…
I never thought learning that plague might be spread by giant gerbils not by rats or mice would give comfort - they are safe as long as there are no giant gerbils…
Re mattress toppers, both my squiggly girls liked 1 inch foam (which has a fleece like zip cover), over that a thick fluffy fiberfill pad (BB and beyond). Both have straps to go around corners of mattress, which got tangled nicely in bed springs so it didn’t fall off….then an XL twin mattress pad and fitted XL twin sheet which went way around the whole deal and kind of wrapped it all together. The rest of the blanket/comforter stuff was mostly a mess but the toppers stayed on great.
Agree on bean boots. Order early or if a new england school is in your sights, go to the LL Bean factory outlet or large store. Warm, comfy, practical, stylish now, and indestructible. A website that sold used LLBean boots would be an interesting start-up……
I picked my daughter up after her last final exam this morning … And the thing that gave her the most joy upon arriving home? Finding her new Bean Boots had been delivered yesterday. Note: I ordered them in October. They were meant to be a Christmas gift!
OK, so what are these LL Bean Boots of which you speak? Specific product number? I get that they are like duck boots, but probably lined and higher-up. Probably totally obvo if you live in the snow belt. I haven’t a clue…
Are they these: Item #:TA175064
Is there a certain color, thinsulate vs. Shearling? Leather vs. synthetic? 8" vs. 10"? Do girls order the men’s version? Low rise/moc? What is de rigeur?
Enquiring minds want to know!
I’m an advocate of Timberlands boots over the Bean boots…