<p>So, I have a really smart, interesting TA and I would like to be friends with him after the semester comes to a close. He helped me out with a paper once and we actually ended up talking for 3 hours (nothing related to my paper, just about random things). The only thing is that I'm a girl and since he's a guy I don't want him to think that I am trying to be anything more than his friend (especially since he has a gf who is living in another country). He's just really cool and I know this is his first year in my city so I know he doesn't have many friends. How can I go about this? I'm a semester away from graduation and possibly about to start grad school myself. I would love to stay in touch with him but I guess I don't know how to approach this. Help?</p>
<p>Just ask him for his email. Be like “hey i really appreciated your help as my TA. I was wondering if I could have your email in case I ever have any more questions>”</p>
<p>TA’s are told not to get involved personally with students. Even if your intent is not romantic, this could be misconstrued and he could be penalized for this. You are correct that he could indeed be lonely and wish for friends- and this could be a vulnerable situation for him. If he is a grad student- he will have many opportunities to make friends within his peer group. If you care about him as a friend, you should not cross the line from professional to friendship as it could backfire on him and you.</p>
<p>You already have his e mail- TA’s give them out, as well as their office hours for help. And his contact info should only be used for academic purposes.</p>
<p>Your professional future is also at risk- TA’s know other TA’s and they talk. Do you want to be misunderstood and perceived as the girl who “hit” on the TA- even if it was not your intent?
Teachers and students have to maintain a professional relationship. Sorry, but that is the way it is. Now, you are only a semester away from graduation. Once you have graduated and are no longer a student at the university he teaches at, you are free to pursue a friendship.</p>
<p>You’d be fine chatting him up even as soon as the term’s over. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve TAed that will just “drop by my office to chat” during the semester, then as soon as the term’s over they magically never drop by again. I’m sure nobody’s fishing for favoritism in grading. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>Yeah, I don’t see how she can be penalized for this if the term is over. The TAs are not sworn to never befriending the students for as long as they’re in college. I know people who became friends with a TA after the class concluded, and it’s no big deal. </p>
<p>Soontobegrad, do you both have Facebook? Adding him as a friend might be a good way to keep in touch without coming on too strong or giving him the wrong idea.</p>
<p>Well since you said you guys have talked for hours about other things, I would think it’s fine to “proceed with caution” maybe find something funny or whatever that you talked about to email him about and possibly start a conversation. (“Remember that movie we were making fun of? I went and saw it. Sooo much worse than we could have imagined!”)</p>
<p>However, my TA fall semester and I got along well, but as soon as the semester was over he added me on Facebook and asked to “hang out” all the time. I thought it was a little creepy because we had never talked about anything other than chemistry and I never thought of him as anything more than my TA. It made me uncomfortable and after a whole semester of him sending me these messages (into the summer!) I had to tell him I was seeing another guy. If this might fit your situation more (which I hope it doesn’t!) save yourself and him to embarrassment and uncomfortableness. Every time I saw him on campus is was the most awkward thing. Thank God he’s going to dental school this year hours away.</p>