Berkeley Essays

College Essays
1

<p>Hi, I'm applying to UC Berkeley soon, and I was wondering if I wrote about a good topic for one of my essays. The first one is about how I overcame bullying on my tennis team. However, with the second one, I don't know if I should write about how dealing with homophobia has inspired me to want to help gay youth, or if I should right something about my major (Geography). Here's the essay I originally planned to include:</p>

<pre><code>I have lived in San Clemente for most of my life. It is a beautiful town and a wonderful environment to grow up in. Unfortunately, I have witnessed a great deal of homophobia throughout most of my time here. I am gay myself, so this has played a large role in my life.
Homophobia is especially rampant in our schools. The openly gay kids are always bullied and deal with constant verbal abuse. Cruel words like “fag” are thrown around without any apprehension. Gay students often have to deal with criticism from their peers, whether it’s said to their faces or behind their backs. Overall, there is just an overly excessive amount of hate directed towards gays here. Sometimes, I even hear stories of children being thrown out of their homes after they come out to their parents. It has hurt me deeply to see others receive such harsh treatment just for openly being who they are. When I struggled with being gay in the past, I often felt like there was no one there for me in this community. I was afraid to come out because of this.
</code></pre>

<p>The things I have witnessed and my own personal experiences have made me realize that I want to help with gay youth in my future. Whether it’s volunteering with groups that help gay teens, or even starting my own group or project to help with gay youth activism, I aspire to get involved with this issue.
I have witnessed a fairly large amount of homophobia at school, and there doesn’t appear to be much support for those suffering from it. Therefore, my dream is to support gay children and teens in any way I possibly can. Whether it’s through fighting homophobia or directly providing support, I aspire to somehow get involved in making this world a better place for gay teens.</p>

<p>So, should I include this essay, or should I do something on how my parents introduced me to geography and cartography at a young age, and how i've grown to have a passion for geography, cartography, and our planet that I would love to explore with my major?</p>

2

<p>First of all, you should never post your essay on an online forum. Ask people if they’re interested in looking over it, and then message it to them privately.</p>

3

<p>Don’t write 2 essays on bullying (i wouldn’t even write one, likely).</p>

<p>Also, isn’t the first prompt to talk about your background, not to talk about a recent specific issue? And isn’t the 2nd one to talk about something you are proud of, like a trait or an accomplishment?</p>

4

<p>BrownParent is right. This essay would not fit into either of the 2 UC personal statement prompts.</p>

<p>Here is what Berkeley is looking for, directly from their website:
[The</a> Personal Statement | UC Berkeley Office of Undergraduate Admissions](<a href=“http://admissions.berkeley.edu/personalstatement]The”>http://admissions.berkeley.edu/personalstatement)</p>

5

<p>I think, depending on the story, bullying can be a great topic (bullying itself is terrible) but if you can come across as a good, righteous person, then go for it! ANd while it’s great that you feel for the gay people being persecuted, college counselors are going to think “why didn’t scderek4 speak up then?” your words seem empty without action, unless of course you are active in your gay straight alliance club. Also, more concrete details! Give a specific incident so people can visualize. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true, show don’t tell. Get some college essay books from the library, and perhaps you can start from there.</p>