<p>Once you have identified your “top 10”, I think the first thing you should consider is the size of a school. Most of these big to mid sized schools are usually competitive and students need to know their goals, be self-disciplined and work hard and agressively to thrive. In smaller schools it can be easier to be on the top, and you don’t feel lost in a small community. </p>
<p>Specifically, I think what you get about Exeter is about right (and almost all “bad” things you generalized about other schools are pretty much wrong though). Another well known “mini college” is Andover. I consider education at these schools really an early college experience. They are like top tier liberal arts colleges + a dorm/supervision system more suitable for younger students. Kids need to be mature to do well there, but they really learn, grow stronger and be prepared. The mid sized ones - SPS, Deerfield and Hotchkiss etc - are smaller but operate pretty much the same way (size does matter though, so they may feel somewhat different). </p>
<p>There are a few “experts” on small schools on this board. They can tell you more about small schools.</p>
<p>One thing I would add on the Deerfield front is that it has a reputation for being on the preppy and conservative side. Of course there are exceptions to every rule. However, since you are inquiring about “fit” and your children have had a broadly international experience I thought it would be worth mentioning.</p>
<p>Lots of generally positive impressions of Andover, but does anyone have a more specific impression of Andover. For example does it offer more free time for individual projects than Exeter?, is it less conservative than Deerfield?, what are its science facilities like in comparison to other schools? I must admit this is the only school for which I have a pre-existing impression based on film adaptations of George W. Bush’s misspent youth. My other impression of boarding school comes from the movie “The Emperors Club.” Something tells me that was based on SPS?</p>
<p>The reason most frequently cited for not pursuing Thacher is distance. The center of gravity for top boarding schools in the U.S. is unquestionably New England and the Mid-Atlantic. Since most parents prefer locations closer to home, there is less East Coast demand for going West, although that’s what we did (from DC).</p>
<p>On “prestige,” you’d be hard-pressed to get a Thacher student or alumnus to use that word to describe the school. Partly, this is the western/California culture, which doesn’t value that kind of talk and partly it’s the School’s culture, which encourages “doing” and modesty, over “talking about doing” and labels. Surprisingly, we found the honor code at nonsectarian Thacher - “honor, fairness, kindness and truth” was more visible and governing than at any of the traditional Church schools we visited! It was refreshing. To the best of my knowledge, there were also no disciplinary actions taken for bullying, hazing or drug use during the four years my son attended (’08 grad).</p>
<p>You will definitely find more courses and more advanced topics of study at the larger New England boarding schools. Actually, you will find more of almost everything – courses, sports, extracurricular activities etc; it’s impressive as hell. But, DAndrew and dodgersmom are right to emphasize the differences between the larger and smaller schools without qualifying one or the other as better. It’s entirely a personal decision.</p>
<p>Everyone going into this process prioritizes what they value and then looks for the closest match. We were looking for: academic rigor & great peers, a four year path that would maximize personal well-roundedness, a balance of indoor and outdoor life, being known by the whole faculty and community (no possibility of slipping through cracks) and the reinforcement of a value system that was unselfish and honest. That meant a small school <300 and, among that group, it meant Thacher. We felt that there would be plenty of time in college to pursue even the most specialized disciplines, but that high school was more about getting the basic plumbing right….is how we saw it.</p>
<p>Facility wise, all these top schools are on par. That should be the last thing you need to worry about. Andover has one of the most diversified, dynamic and sophiscated student body (check out their student run newspaper: phillipian.net). However, the teachers can be quite hands-off there. There are mandatory study hours, learning centers, check-in times etc., but students do have a lot of freedom and independence, which can work for or against an individual depending on who he/she is. You’d think freedom/independence gives one more time to work on “individual projects”, but that’s not true. With rigorous academics and huge workload (including classes, required sports and other extracurricular activities), it would not be easy to find time and energy to do more. If by “individual project”, you mean an independent project students can choose to work under the supervision of a faculty members, there are such opportunities, but in schools such as Andover, like almost everything else, the process is competitive. You need to “fight” for it and there’s no garantee you’ll get it.</p>
<p>Please remember to do your own research, and not believe everything you read on the internet.</p>
<p>Deerfield is NOT known as a “party school,” at all. It’s just not. I can’t believe I’m sitting on an internet chat board defending Deerfield, but there you have it LOL.</p>
<p>Choate has PLENTY of accomplished alumni, here’s a partial list. " Among Choate Rosemary Hall’s most notable alumni: President John F. Kennedy '35; Nobel Laureate Douglass C. North '38; Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright, Edward Albee '46; actors Michael Douglas '63, Glenn Close '65, Jamie Lee Curtis '76 and Paul Giamatti '85;" I would include Adlai Stevenson and Paul Mellon iin that category. I’m sure you all can come up with more, including quite a few CEOs and captains of industry.</p>
<p>I can’t believe there are people on this planet that think that Deerfield is a party school. The closest thing to partying we have is having fresh wood-pressed apple juice after academic decathlons, quiz bowls, math quests, and debate forums.</p>
<p>The lore of Deerfield may predate. When we took a campus tour two years ago, the tour guide tried to defend the notoriety that accompanied, “There’s a lot of gazing up into the snow covered hills,” i.e. drug use, that goes on in bleak winter months. That and squash.</p>
<p>First time I’ve ever heard of Deerfield reputation as a party school. </p>
<p>Some other considerations for an expat parent:<br>
Logistics<br>
There are many New England schools within reasonable reach of int’l gateway airports (e.g., JFK, BOS). Many of the schools organize transport to these airports during breaks. </p>
<p>Are you being posted to Europe/Asia/Africa? Where is your extended family in the U.S.? That may drive your decision to look East Coast or West Coast school. </p>
<p>%Boarding
I personally prefer a school w a low %day students. Kids with cars can introduce problems.</p>
<p>As we are abroad, we would like to know that son is in a place where everyone (adults, especially) knows him and would NOTICE and CARE if he was triumphing or struggling in any way (academically, socially, emotionally). </p>
<p>We are big on “sit-down” meals at boarding school, and believe sit-down meals with students & faculty are important for instilling a sense of family and community. Additionally, sit-down meals w faculty help students to develop a sense of confidence in communicating for figures in authority. </p>
<p>Another important thing for a long-distance parent is communication w school/faculty. We were put off by how all correspondence from one big-name school (to which S was admitted) was addressed or emailed ONLY to him, and not the parents-- not a good thing to be left out of the loop if you are 1000’s of miles away. Yes, it is nice that the school treats the student so repectfully, but let’s not forget that they are minors and ultimately it’s the parents who are responsible for their well-being.</p>
<p>If I were in your shoes and not constrained by geography, I would look hard at the West Coast schools, Cate and Thacher. I think that they offer the same outstanding education as the East Coast schools, but with much less of the cutthroat competition and social pecking order of the East Coast boarding options (of which I was a product).</p>
<p>With respect, you should not be soliciting opinions about schools on CC. At the very least, you should take all comments with a grain of salt. (Even mine!) Many of the commenters are in middle school, and lack an adult’s frame of reference. Some schools put a great deal of effort into cultivating a positive online image. </p>
<p>The search function on this site is very helpful. Do note the date on which a comment is posted–the internet is forever. When I was researching schools for my children, it became apparent that there was a Terrible Story for every. single. school. Sometimes the Terrible Stories appear in the papers. Sometimes they don’t. (There are probably Terrible Stories for public high schools, too, but they aren’t as interesting to newspaper publishers.) There are often details left out of the popular press which would cast the stories in a different light. On the other hand, every. single. school. will have parents who rave about it. </p>
<p>I do not think it is a good idea to exclude Episcopalian or Quaker boarding schools from consideration. As far as I know, the required Chapel are fairly ecumenical, more likely to be a few hymns and a “chapel talk” from a student or faculty member than a Mass. Many of these schools have significant numbers of students from different faiths. </p>
<p>In your position, I would prefer schools with a high proportion of boarding students. The higher the percentage of day students, the more likely it is a school will be run for the convenience of the day students. This is a fair and just move for the school community as a whole. For example, a boarding school with few day students can offer activities throughout the day, into the evening. A day school will try to not exclude day students by curtailing the time available for clubs to meet. One boarding/day school does not allow boarding students to return to their dorms during the day. The lower the percentage of day students, or “local boarders,” the less likely it is a campus will empty out on weekends.</p>
<p>The “top schools” are often known as academic pressure-cookers. Once your sons have taken the SSAT exam, you will know which schools are realistic matches for them. I think children of diplomats do have a “hook” in the admissions process. Admissions to respected boarding schools have grown very, very competitive. It is wise for every family to expand the search beyond the schools with the lowest admission rates.</p>
<p>You must visit the schools. Many schools may look wonderful on paper, but not appeal to your family.</p>
<p>Miquel,
Your comments keep referring to having time for S to do his own projects. To be honest, this will be very tough for most BS students. The BS environment is pretty time consuming (ask students when you visit about how much “free time” they have) with classes, school work, and athletics/other ECs. My D has tried for 3 years to initiate a charitable activity outside of the school without much success (in her case, needed faculty support; someone to drive; and the time). It’s very very difficult to do something outside the bubble, if you will, no matter how seemingly supportive on the surface every schools suggests (of course, one can do other projects in the summer). Just setting expectations on that one . . .</p>
<p>Okay, since I was the one who first used the word “project” in this thread, I feel as if I should respond to the comments of erlanger and others regarding the OP’s use of the term.</p>
<p>Having looked at a lot of schools last year for a student interested in participating in competitive engineering and robotics programs, I found many more opportunities elsewhere than at Exeter and Andover. Many, many schools have competitive robotics programs. Other schools participate in a variety of engineering and design programs. So perhaps the problem is with the word “individual.” If you want to do an individual project, there are limited options. Choate’s science research program comes to mind. But a student can be part of an engineering or robotics team at many of the schools commonly discussed on this board . . . as well as at many others not so often mentioned.</p>
<p>That’s what is so wonderful about boarding school - there are all sorts of opportunities one might not find at ones local school. But, not every school is strong in everything. For math team, Eexeter would be one of my top choices. For engineering and design projects, probably not. It’s not that it can’t be done or hasn’t been done; it’s just that you can’t count on always being able to find a group of students willing to put in the time needed for certain kinds of projects.</p>
<p>Your lodestone consideration should be what your children want. Let them own the application process. Encourage them to research primary sources. Take them to visit a wide-range of “fit,” “reach,” and “safety” schools. And remember that your children will ultimately choose only from the schools that choose them.</p>