<p>Would parents like it better if their child stays closer to them or farther away? I am not saying that you want to get rid of your obnoxious teen but I want to know what most parents would want their child to do. If your child got accepted into a good college far away and a decent college close by, where would you ask him/her to go?</p>
<p>“Far away” and “abroad” are not the same thing to me. I doubt any parents want their kids to go far away because they are obnoxious… once the kid goes to school, they are not at home much either way.</p>
<p>Strangers on the internet cannot possibly answer this question for you and your family. You will find many viewpoints out here. My oldest went far away, and just moved to a far away city to start her first job. I cried when I dropped her off at college, and again when she left home for her move a few weeks ago. I miss her, but understand that she has been pointed on a career path that brought her to this point from a very young age. And I want her to be happy. </p>
<p>D2 is looking at colleges near and far. I admit, I love the idea of having her near, but will NOT hold her back if her preference is “far” and I think the school is a good fit for her.</p>
<p>Many other families prefer that their kids stay close for various reasons. Especially true of first generation immigrants or families where kids are first gen to college, I suspect. If there is an illness in the family, or someone needs extra support that the student can help provide, that can be a contributing factor. Some students stay close to save money (live at home and commute to college). Travel is an added expense to colleges farther away for families strapped for cash. And some students prefer to be close to home.</p>
<p>It really depends. If my kid got into Cornell and LSE in London, I wouldn’t necessary want my kid to go to LSE. If my kid got into a second or third tier school in the states and LSE (not very likely), then yes, I would want her to go to LSE. It would be the same between Cornell and Berkeley - I would tell her to go to Cornell. If it is between Cornell and Stanford, and she wants to be in CA, I would say go. Yes, for me there is a difference between Stanford and Berkeley.</p>
<p>There are many benefits to be close to home first few years in college, like when you get sick or when there is a performance/event at school. We have been to many D1’s dance performance at school. </p>
<p>This is my opinion, what I would be willing to pay for my kids, which I feel I have the right to do, but I am sure other parents may feel differently.</p>
<p>depends a lot on on the parent and the kid as well. My wife is amazed at how many of her acquaintances can’t wait until their kids leave in the fall. My wife is dreading the day. Some relationships are obviously stronger than others and some are more motherly than others even though they know they have to let go. My S did end up choosing a school close to home so it will lesson the blow…I hope…</p>
<p>My son is going away to college in the United Kingdom</p>
<p>He could have gone to the University of Florida, which is only 90 minutes from my home.</p>
<p>Yes, I would prefer it if he lived close by, but I want him to pursue his dreams.</p>
<p>I want him to have the opportunities I did not have.</p>
<p>Knowing he will be going to places like London, Copenhagen and Paris makes the sacrifice worthwhile.</p>
<p>And in any case, nowadays, with the internet, you can much more easily stay in touch.</p>
<p>When I went to college, no one had the money to make long distance phone calls, so you would quickly lose touch with your high school friends, and even your parents. Now, you are just an email away.</p>
<p>depends on the parent really. any opinion you can think of, there will be a parent who has it.</p>
<p>I wanted my kids to go far enough away that they weren’t tempted to spend weekends at home with us. To me college is an ideal time to get to know a new region of the country and stretch your wings a bit. Both my kids applied to at least one college that required getting on a plane, and the closest college either of them applied to was about 1.5 hours away. One ended up a 6.5 hour drive away (and is now working on the other coast), the other chose a college about a 3.5 hour drive away and will be spending his junior year abroad in Jordan.</p>
<p>I wanted my kids to experience a different part of the country. S wound up 45 minutes from home. But he’s spread his wings regardless. Aside from one nearby family function that he attended (a cousin’s First Communion), he came home only at TG, Xmas and spring break, just like his sister 1000 miles away. I would not have wanted him to come home for weekends except under unusual circumstances; that defeats the purpose of going away to college IMO.</p>
<p>In the Pleistocene Era, my parents essentially forbade me to apply to Stanford or Berkeley, saying there was nothing I could get there that I couldn’t get closer to home that they were willing to pay for. (There wasn’t any question, however, that I would be going to college at least several hundred miles from home. I wasn’t going to be permitted to stay near home, either, and I had no interest in staying close.) Two years later, however, my parents not only let my sister apply to Stanford, they let her choose to go there over a second choice that was closer and (at the time) arguably better. There WAS something she could get at Stanford that she couldn’t get back East: 3,000 miles from my mother, something everyone agreed would be good for her.</p>
<p>In other words, it depends on the kid.</p>
<p>Other stuff depends on the kid, too. Back 65 years ago, my mother defied her family by turning down the family school and getting herself a merit full ride to a LAC in California. But she settled in her hometown – when I was born, the house I came home to was the same house she had come home to when she was born – and after she was 26 she never lived more than half a mile from her mother. My sister who went to Stanford has lived in the Bay Area since she was 17, except for a 20-month stint in London 20+ years ago. But my other sister, who went to the University of Arizona, even farther from where she grew up than Stanford, both in terms of distance and in terms of culture, has lived with or within blocks of our parents for most of the past 20 years.</p>
<p>Other things being equal, we would prefer DD to stay close for practical reasons (easier move in, cheaper, etc.)</p>
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<p>Like it better? Farther away. Nice break for everyone.</p>
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<p>I would stay out of it.</p>
<p>JHS: “My parents essentially forbade me to apply to Stanford or Berkeley, saying there was nothing I could get there that I couldn’t get closer to home that they were willing to pay for. (snip) Two years later, however, my parents not only let my sister apply to Stanford, they let her choose to go there over a second choice that was closer and (at the time) arguably better.”</p>
<p>It’s the older-child syndrome, isn’t it? My parents forbade me to go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and then by the time my sister came along, they actually took her themselves, LOL.</p>
<p>We were all set for for D to go to St.Andrews,but she got into a dream school here . We didn’t get in the way when our 4 kids chose schools !</p>
<p>This is the perfect time to stop thinking it is your decision. Be very very clear on what you can contribute, encourage whatever choice they have, and let them make the decision. It is NOT your decision. Our DD chose the other coast, and it has been a fantastic opportunity for her to spread her wings. If she had wanted to stay close, we would have adopted the attitude of the above poster - coming home for weekends is discouraged. You need to stay at school to settle in, make new friends, and develop a community. The only one of DD’s friends who is struggling with adjustment is the one that lives the closest to the college. DD and her friends all believe it is because she didn’t prepare for the move as effectively in her head, and goes home way too casually.</p>
<p>Distance was just one of the many factors in our kids decisions. All 3 of my kids went to colleges 7 - 16 hours away, but they also looked at and applied to colleges within an hour away.</p>
<p>Our “rule” for the kids was that they needed to be at least 2 hours away. Most of that came from when we lived in another town that had a university in town and we did not want them going to college down the street. They agree. DD is only looking at one in-state school, DS none. Our older 2 went to in state schools about 4 hours away. We also told them we would prefer that they are either under 4 hours or more than 6 because round trip driving 4 hours each way is about max I like to do and over 6 hours we can justify flying to/from school :D.</p>
<p>We insisted our kids attend college OOS. We didn’t want them thinking that the insular nature of “the nation’s richest state” was normal.</p>
<p>Again, this should be students choice as long as finances are available, which, for many, makes it a decision that needs to be made as a family. When looking at a school, factor in an extra trip for summer orientation/scheduling, first Thanksgiving, Winter Break, then travel home with all the stuff or summer storage prices. When deciding on schools, it was a real eye-opener to DS to factor in those costs. Luckily he is at his 1st choice school, and it is 2 1/2 hours away, so good for travel but far enough away that we won’t be dropping by.</p>
<p>no difference between 1 hour and 10 hours if the kid doesn’t come home on weekends…</p>
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<p>if the parents are paying, they ARE part of the decision process…IMO
…or do you hand your S or D a blank check and have them do what they want?</p>