We went to a Pakistani wedding last year also. I have to say, the traditional clothing worn by the vast majority of guests was gorgeous. I wore the nicest dress in my closet…but realized after I got there, that I easily could have worn the gown I wore to our daughter’s wedding as MOB. It never dawned on me how gorgeous these traditional clothes would be.
The MOB for that wedding typically wears something made for her to holiday parties. Sh says…if I give her my measurements she will send them to her family and have something made. I’ve eyed the long tunic and wide pants outfits…all silk with tasteful beading. But really…since I have no place to wear this, I have passed on the offer!
According to what I’ve read, Indian women are happy to help Western women with clothing and do not consider it cultural appropriation. Same with men. It actually sounds kind of sweet to me that the bride’s family is trying to include your friend in helping her get a dress(not costume) for the reception. Including her, welcoming her into their culture. Your friend may have grandchildren some day that are part of that culture!
This is stunning and perfect for a wedding. If it makes you feel any better, I wore something similar to my friend’s wedding, and he is white and married to a woman who is Indian-American. No one batted an eye. The groom did the clothing change thing, but that’s different- it was his wedding.
Absolutely, the issues with immediate family are different than the average wedding guest. @Hoggirl ,Both dresses you have in mind are lovely! Most eyes will be on the family and bridal party anyway!
In @Hoggirl case I think it’s cultural not for social media. We went to a wedding where groom was Indian and bride Jewish. They had a morning Indian wedding ceremony and lunch. All the grooms guests wore Indian attire as did the bride, her mom and sister and some of the guests. The saris were amazing and the music great. That event went till about 1:30. At 4:30 pm they had another wedding ceremony this event was a more traditional wedding under the chuppah. Both the bride and groom wore what we would consider traditional attire, long wedding gown and a suit for the groom. The Indian guests all changed. I live local so we went home in between, I can’t remember if I changed. My friend did the hair for the women and she said that was tough. Early morning for the Indian ceremony and an afternoon crunch for the late afternoon ceremony.
What we learned from the people we spoke with was that in their family everyone travels to a wedding even if it’s halfway across the globe. We also learned that this generation was having more “love” marriages which was a change in their family.
And the bride is getting married in the groom’s town, the town of your friend. It is probably very different for her family in general, and they would like to add their own touches to the events. I think it sounds wonderful and the Indian clothing will probably be very beautiful. Have fun!
And this may be a reason she is intent on keeping some of the traditions for her parents, grandparents, other relatives even if she is not having an Indian ceremony. She may be trying to show them she still respects her culture and family but that it is okay to have a non-traditional wedding.
I worked with two Indian women in LA. One traveled to India for weddings for her family members and thought nothing of spending thousands for travel and dress. The other attended (to me, anyway) a ton of weddings in LA with her family that were huge (sometimes 500 guests) with elephants and white horses that were just part of her weekend. She didn’t buy special clothing but already owned it all. I’m sure all 500 people weren’t dressed in Indian attire but that many were.
I’d say go with what makes you happy. My daughter will do her best to honor the request of the bride/groom to wear the colors requested for the 4 days she will be at this wedding even though she is not in the bridal party or a family member for pictures. She’ll feel more comfortable not standing out in pictures or having to move out of the way. She’ll not be offended having to shop for another dress or two - she’s already spending many thousands of dollars to go to this wedding, so what’s another dress- Or four! My daughter would look really good in a sari (she’s Chinese), but she’ll not do that. She could get a qipoa, but she won’t do that either. For her, it is very important to blend in. If a yellow dress helps her to do that and makes the bride happy, that’s a win in my book.
Pretty much anything goes at an Indian wedding. I agree with the suggestions to stay away from white, black and red though. Not all Indian brides wear red, but a lot of them do.
D is going with several high school friends to an Indian friends’ wedding next month. She’s in charge of lining up Indian outfits for the girls to wear (she’s borrowing clothes from several Indian friends). The girls are all excited and looking forward to dressing up!
We were at a friends’ son’ wedding a couple of years ago. They had a “by the beach” ceremony one day and also an Indian wedding the following day. Between the Indian wedding and the reception, we only had a couple of hours. But several folks changed (including the MOG and SOG) and several others stayed in the same outfits.
At the wedding we went to where the bride was Indian…they did have two ceremonies…but one was in the morning the following day so that they could stream it to their relatives in India who were unable to attend as well as those here who were unable to attend. I think it was at about 11. Followed by a great luncheon of traditional Indian food that was absolutely delicious.
So…yes, we did change clothes…but it was for the next day!
