@MTmom2017 My S released his spot at TXST last night. It was really hard to let that program go. My S and I visited about a month ago. The program is fantastic, the campus is beautiful, the facility is beyond words, they are a family, the students are fantastic and on and on. Only positive. My S said the class with Lauren Lane was just about the strongest of all the classes he sampled at all the schools he looked at. It is an amazing opportunity. My S decided to stay in CA and had many schools to chose from. It came down to TXST and the school here in CA.
Honestly, I have been feeling a bit sad all day that he is not going there, but reading your post makes me really happy for your D!! I would suggest going for it!!
Woo-hoo @MTmom2017 - thatās fantastic!
@MTmom2017 YAYAYAY!! This is WONDERFUL news, whatever you and your lovely daughter decide. This made my night!! Heart happy for you!
Congratulations, @MTMom2017! Texas State is awesome! If she didnāt like her other acceptances and was looking at a gap year, Iād say thatās a āyes,ā personally! Wonderful news!
Wow @MTmom2017 that is fantastic news! What a super program and the tuition is nice too! Congrats!!! Your D must be over the moon!
Texas State is AWESOME! Congrats!!!
@MTmom2017 - congratulations on Texas State! I only hear wonderful things about that program plus itās incredubly good value. It sounds like an amazing opportunity.
So, just to finish the Pace situation: D had called back asking to sit in on a class. The guy (named Matt, head of FTVC program) apologetically said that the deadline to decide was midnight that night (decision day) and it was university policy - he had no power to extend it. He apologized for the late notice, too, saying that a lot of accepted students waited til the last day to decline this year.
It was very frustrating, since she had previously emailed Wayne Pietro (the admissions guy whose name was on her alternate letter) asking if she could sit in on a class, but he had never responded. Now it was too late.
D was texting me about it from school. I said, āIf you canāt sit in on a class, itās a hard no.ā It seemed ridiculous to me to consider a program without sitting in on a class, especially when it was SO different from the other programs sheād auditioned for. But she got mad at me and said it was her decision, so I said fine, think about it.
She asked two of her acting teachers at school who both immediately said Hartt was the better choice for her because sheās such a āclassicā actress, loving Shakespeare etc.
But she also knows a boy in the FTVC program who graduated from her high school last year, and the FTVC head suggested she talk to him to get info, since there was no time for a class. So she contacted the boy on Facebook.
She showed me their FB conversation when she got home, and I could see why she was torn: the way this boy described what they were learning in acting class sounded amazing and really resonated with D. So it made it a tough decision for her.
It also meant a lot to her that the head of the program called her personally and knew who she was and said āweād be honored to work with you.ā None of the other schools were that personal - when we went to visit and she asked questions, she could see they didnāt remember her, even though sheād been accepted.
So she was really, really torn. But ultimately she reluctantly agreed that it was too big a risk to commit for four years to a program without sitting in on a class, especially since it meant giving up all the other things sheād wanted in a program (Shakespeare study in London etc.)
So she turned it down, but it was very hard for her and caused her a lot of anxiety and second-guessing. I just wish they could have given her a few days to decide and let her sit in on a class so she could really get a feel for the program and make an informed snd confident decision.
I feel so bad for her: every time we seem settled with the decision, something happens to make her question it or worry.
I just REALLY hope sheāll be happy at Hartt. Iām glad she has a place and the decision is made, and it DOES offer the kind of program she wants and seems really good on paper. And everyone weāve contacted who goes there loves it.
But for D, it wasnāt that feeling so many people describe of āI walked on campus and immediately KNEW this was the place for me!ā (That was Rutgers.) With Hartt, it was more a matter of looking at her acceptances and picking the one that checked off the most boxes on her āwish list,ā, and also seeing a play there and being impressed by the talent. It was an intellectual decision, rather than an emotional āgut feelingā.
But the decision is made, so now I just hope for the best. Hartt is a very small program, and everyone says that the theater kids get very close and are like a family, and the teachers know them well and are great mentors, so hopefully sheāll āfeel the loveā once sheās there.
@actorparent1 Thatās a super stressful way to have to decide and I feel for you and your girl. From the outsideā¦out here in cc land it sounds like you made the wise choice. Hartt is wonderful and in the long run has much more of what she wants to study.
The gut feeling when they walk on campus. My daughter had that at Purchase but is going elsewhere and though that feeling is something to note and has some value itās kind of magical thinking. Many people get that feeling and also end up transferring out the next year. Itās an all things considered and level headed decision in the end because there are many programs in which our kids could flourish. Iām kind of a hypocrite because Iāve always told my girl to pay attention to that āfeelingā- she told me to just stop. She processes things her own way. Oh boyā¦Iām rambling- of course the feeling a school gives you is important but sometimes that magical āthereās no place likeā¦ā leads us astray.
Wise wonderful choice and I too am haunted by second guessing. I think itās part of all this.
Congratulations ā¦super happy for you both!!
@actorparent1 I completely agree with @laylamom. I LOVED Hartt. Alan Rust has a great perspective about actor training and the kids there are working. I follow a few on IG and they are doing great things. And in the long run you want to know that you looked at a program analytically by checking all the boxes and ākicking the tiresā. Feelings are good but can be deceiving. Think about how every program seems ideal on Open House days - they put out all the shiny, pretty things and youāre like - wow! This place has it all. But the deep dive into the program may reveal more.
As a member of your CC family - I super support your decision. <3 
Congratulations!
@actorparent1 just from the fact that they made your D decide by midnight would have made it a NO. And that they are so stingy about watching a class. Warning flags would have appeared in my mind. Hartt sounds like an overall amazing program. Lots of acting styles and a āfamilyā atmosphere. My S loves BU but he never had a āfeelingā when he was there. He actually felt good at all the schools he auditioned for, except for CMU. The next 4 years has to be more of a head decision and not 100% a heart decision. Her heart is already in the craft. We are all second guessing it all now that time is up. Be happy. She will be great!
Thanks SO much, @laylamom, @HopeinMT and @ginaf1102! I really needed to hear that. The anxiety and āwhat if?ā feeling is awful! Reading your reassurances that we made a good choice makes me feel a lot better!
I donāt know what I would do without this forum! You have all saved my sanity so many times on this journey! ::: hugs CC family :::
There is something all of the kids with multiple acceptances (and their parents) should know ā buyerās remorse is real and it extends into the school year! I heard it from not only my kids but many of their friends. They spent at least some time second-guessing their decision. It seemed to hit about 6 weeks after the start of freshman year. I donāt know what is special about that time - maybe the work load and homesickness kick in - maybe they realize they are back to the bottom of the pecking order - who knows? It seems to recede by the end of the first semester but it was really hard for me to hear ādid I make a mistake? Should I transfer?ā Ugh! Hang in there, all!
Thanks for the warning, @artskids! The stress of this process is truly never-ending, isnāt it? LOL
@actorparent1 never. Next thing you know, theyāll be graduating, showcasing and looking for work 
Thanks for that dose of reality! @artskids! My son is deferring a year and even last night I was firing āsecond guessingā type questions (about the program not his choice to defer) at him and he fired back asking āwhy are you doing this, I love this place?!ā I guess Iāll remind him of his confidence in fall of 2019 when/if he has some second thoughts! Be confident in the process and do the best research you can and GO! With the end comes relief but also some sadness that we are on the other side!
Thanks to everyone! Iām more of a lurker but truly found this board full of valuable information and support!
@actorparent1 - honestly, you made the only choice you could have made. You canāt second-guess that - the school put you in an untenable position. If you had zero other options and someone walked up, put the theoretical gun to your head and said āgive me your money and your kid for 4 years, sheāll love itā - well, you have no other options. But you have a great option, one your D loved and one youāve already given money to and committed to. Pace can go jump in a lake.
In some ways I am DEEPLY grateful that my kid only got into one of her top choices and none of her second-choices. We may deal with ups and downs next year and she may or may not love the program as much as we think she will but at least I wonāt be dealing with second guessing her final decision!!! #silverlinings
@actorparent1 I think you are making the right choice. Funny, my S came off the WL at Arizona on Monday. Had just put in deposits at CalArts the day before. If the offer had come last week, my S may have decided to go there. It may not be a tippy top tier program, but he really liked it. He thought about it. I reached out to a friend. She told me of her Dās story and how she dropped one program for another at the last minute. It was a reach school. In the end, she left that program after Sophomore year and has always regretted giving up the school she initially committed to. It may have been the perfect match after all. Oh, this processā¦
I am in need of some serious CC family help.
I thought all the craziness was over - and then D gets an email today saying sheās still a viable candidate for CMU acting program and she will find out on Friday. Did other acting kids get that email? CMU has an amazing reputation and a huge percent of alumni work. CMU is the dream for lots of MT/Acting kids - for so many reasons - but that dream almost becomes unattainable through this process (can you say brutal) and they fall in love with a second school. This has happened to my D. She is in LOVE with BU. She loves her classmates, the faculty, the facilities and is figuring out roommates already. Plus BU is only 2 hours away.
Do I push the CMU possibility with her tonight? I would need more financial aid and they only give you a few days to decide. Or do I let this go? Friday will be interesting.
UGH. What a wonderful problem to have.