<p>You've gotten some great advice, bookmom. One point I would add is that if your daughter is gifted and in the top 10% of her class in high school (and I'm assuming she's been since kindergarten), then she has been experiencing being the big smart fish for 12 years and is thriving. Not much difference being in the top 10% compared to top 5%. But there could be a BIG difference being below the top quartile or top half for a student like this, depending on the personality. (Is she a perfectionist? Does she find a lot of esteem in grades or being the best?) </p>
<p>As a kid who doesn't like stress, as you mentioned in your OP, maybe your D likes that comfort zone and would continue to thrive. (On the other hand, it's unrealistic to think that she would be in the top 5-10% at what she does for the rest of her life, so learning to adapt to such challenges might be a wonderful growth experience, too, though difficult.)</p>
<p>EDIT: I guess my point is that if she's thrived so far as the big fish it would not be the end of the world to continue to be one in college.</p>
<p>My DS could be in this situation, or even more so. If he attends big Flagship U or less known state U, he will be well over the 75% in test scores. I don't think it matters! With huge schools, there are huge numbers of kids of all different levels of drive, passion, book-smarts, and, yes, test scores. He will find plenty of kids "smarter" than him, and plenty of kids to befriend (without regards to how booksmart they are!).<br>
Momof2inca makes a great point above. Those of us whose kids have attended big public HS's, have seen what our kids have accomplished at schools with learners of different achievement levels. My kids have done just fine - and even the bottom-ranked college on my DS's list will be a more academically challenging place than his high school.</p>
<p>I view the pond vs. proximity issues as two things that should be separated. </p>
<p>I had been concerned that my D, who was towards the top of the admitted class at her college, might be insufficiently challenged. I needen't have worried.</p>
<p>Otoh, choosing a college because of proximity to a bf/gf is one of the dumbest things in the world but I haven't a clue as to how to successfully convey that notion to a 17/18-year-old.</p>