<p>Note: See next post for the plain question minus the story. </p>
<p>Hello, all. I come to you today because Im facing quite the dilemma. Ill try to keep this practical instead of letting it slip into the dark chasm of superfluous melodrama. Im a black student that grew up in a poor area in rural Mississippi that really didnt provide me with much of an intellectual background growing up. However, near the end of my high school career, I seem to have boomed intellectual and developed quite the interest in literature. I would spend days at a time reading about literary history on the internet and buying the books and digesting them all myself. However, I really didnt have anyone around to discuss said novels with. Near the end of my high school career, I was almost completely uninterested in what most of my peers, no matter their background, were into. I figured the solution to this would be to get out into the world and see what college had to offer! </p>
<p>However, this turned out to be quite difficult for me due to the fact that my old high school counselors were more concerned with convincing students to go to a.) the local state schools b.) community college c.) trade school. Obviously, complete with flimsy notions of grandeur, I told myself that Id go against the grain all by myself and make something of myself. Thats where you guys come in. I used to frequent these boards two years ago (granted, I was more of a lurker) and can say without vain that I absorbed WAY too much knowledge about colleges in the United States. However, this knowledge didnt do me much good since I realized just how poor of a student I was. </p>
<p>You see, I grew up in a single household with a mom that pretty much worked all day and thus I really couldnt get to my school to participate in many extracurricular activities. Even then, the extracurriculars werent all that great in the first place. As a result, I just kind of sat in my room and read/gathered knowledge about the world via the internet. Also, Im pretty cognitively inept in the first place but Im guessing that the instruction in the math and sciences at my school werent that great to begin with. While I did well enough in the classes, I did horrible in those sections of the ACT. I remember much about my individual scores overall but I got a 24 composite on the test. My reading and grammar scores were above average but the other two just sort of killed me. </p>
<p>So, when lurking these sites, I realized just how inadequate of a student I am and decided not to shoot my sights TOO high. I mean, these people would just laugh at my application. (And, seriously, Im nowhere near as smart as I thought I was back then.) Long story short, I wound up at a small Midwestern liberal arts college who loved my application to death. </p>
<p>A lot of things have happened but ultimately, Im beginning to feel very lonely and depressed in this atmosphere. There are many dimensions to this. One is the fact that there simply arent many minority students here and I feel that, as a whole, Im not growing as a black person at all. (Hahaha so that strikes Macalester off of your guess list) I know lots of people that are happy here and thus I dont want to undermine the school itself. Granted, most of the happier people here fall into your middle/upper-middle class, politically correct, indie rock-listening hipster paradigm. I have nothing against this. Hell, I like indie rock and suchwhat a lot. (Radiohead is awesome.) Though, I dont really feel like I fit in entirely because Ive found people that like the kind of things I like but there arent many people that can relate to my background/upbringing. </p>
<p>Another thing that bugs me is the fact that I was kind of expecting to be challenged more by my peers. I hate to sound crude but some of these people were born with so much and have had such expensive educations and they really cant seem to take care of themselves academically or otherwise. I mean, not to toot my own horn here but professors generally have nothing but praise for my work and one of the admissions counselors has come up to me and told me that I wrote her favorite admissions essay of all time. I appreciate this. Honestly, the academics are the only thing that keeps me here. My teachers are very invigorating and awesome. Ive also become something of a public figure on campus due to my opinions of racial issues happening on and off campus. However, the only thing I really learn from many of my peers involve that dreaded Pitchfork Music website and cigarettes. Again, Im sorry if this sounds critical. Theyre all genuinely happy with each other and who am I to attack them? </p>
<p>And finally, this place is just small. There is nothing to do. I want to be able to go to concerts and meet a variety of people. </p>
<p>Now, I want to transfer to another school. I kind of think I sold myself short and am developing an inferiority complex from perpetually being the outsider while all of my friends are living normal college lives. However, my high school record hasnt changed. Though, Ive been doing well enough I college: Ive taken a full year of Sanskrit and now were (slowly) translating stuff, I did a summer of intensive Japanese and am still working with that and Im taking Ancient Greek for ****s and giggle. In my paper-based classes, Ive gotten nothing but good comments for my clarity when it comes to things I care about. Im even involved in a few clubs and a frat! I think I can try again and ultimately go to a place that a.) is more vibrant b.) more diverse c.) is larger. Also, my family is in Mississippi and Ohio and money is scarce. Itd be great if I could visit them sometimes. Also, I dont want to buy into the whole prestige doesnt matter crap. Id love to have peers that are more proud of themselves! Im sick of having friends saying theyre only here because they couldnt get into a more well-known school. </p>
<p>The biggest problem, however, is money. Im being given A LOT of money to come here by the school and it seems practical that I should stay here and reap the benefits. However, I was beginning to wonder if my happiness was worth it. This may be the biggest obstacle I face. </p>
<p>Sadly, Ive forgotten most of what Ive researched in the past and now I come to you for help.</p>