Boarding School Cultures

Prep School Admissions
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I think we can assume that most boarding schools have strong academics, engaged faculty, hand-picked students, and lovely campuses. I’m interested in people’s impressions of school cultures.

What does the school community feel like to kids? How deliberate is the administration in creating or nurturing a particular culture? What kinds of kids does the school attract and how does that shape the culture?

Here’s what I’ve surmised so far as a long-time lurker and occasional poster. Chime in to correct any misperceptions, add your own first-hand observations, and comment about schools I may have missed.

Exeter: A place where even the very brightest kids can find equally intelligent peers to challenge and compete with them intellectually. Culture of excellence and specialization. Kids work very hard to prove they are worthy of a legacy of drawing the best of the best.

Saint Andrews: Deliberate effort to fight culture of appearances and materialism in favor of authenticity. Small school in which kids are encouraged to go out of their comfort zone and try new things, knowing they might not excel at first (or ever.) Preppy despite being 40% kids of color.

Mercersburg: Very conscious of building a sense of family among students and faculty. Late start to classes based on research on adolescents and sleep. One of the less racially diverse schools. Diversity comes from wide range of countries represented by int’l students.

Emma Willard: Proud of its legacy as a pioneer in girl’s education and its roots of always teaching girls the same rigorous curriculum as boys when peer schools we’re still considered finishing schools preparing wives for the elite.

Putney: Hippie farm school attracting bright, independent kids who are driven to carve out their own path and go wherever their curiosity and creativity might lead.

What did I miss or get wrong? How would you describe the cultures at other schools you are familiar with?

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Cali, I think that you will find when visiting that geographical location is important to “culture”, as I’ve written about often over the years. Sure, the student populations are selected for diversity, so you might see 20-40 states represented, and international students making up 10-25% of the population.

But BS, like colleges, tend to draw 40-60% from the immediate region. (And there are the ubiquitous sending states of: New York and California, tops, then New Jersey, Texas, Florida, Illinois, Massachusetts, and a couple others, from their affluent communities and schools.) That, plus the physical environment of the particular location, goes a long way toward the “feel” of the school and the behaviors of its denizens. You do have NE urban, suburban and rural, and the same for the Mid-Atlantic and the South. Some prospective families and enrolled students will sense and appreciate these differences more than others will. Same goes for a relatively modest international presence versus the high end of about a quarter of the students. (And are the vast majority form China and South Korea, or is there more of a mix?)

All of these schools, from Exeter to Putney, will have a “bottom half of the class”. Consider that your child, whatever their middle school situation, may end up in this half. What does the school culture do for these students and how do they experience it, as opposed to the hot shot academics? I am raising an issue that may be hard to get “answers” for, but I do think there are important, or at least interesting, questions to be had.

One could also consider the “divides” that some school cultures accentuate (and this may be more from the students themselves than institutionally): jocks and non-jocks, females and males, minorities and majority white, etc. Reading threads here and BS’ own student newspapers, over the years, you will find clues and statements that strip away the slick marketing to get at the underlying culture.

There are “sub-cultures” at many BS that exist quite independently yet meaningfully within the larger context. You can go very “deep” with this subject! Stay calm and carry on, as they say.

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This is a great thread. I’ve been wanting to ask the same. I would love to hear both positive and negative aspects of the cultures. Better to know now. Thanks for posting.

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@Charger78 You bring up some very interesting points! I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of your post. I’m really enjoying this thread already and look forward to hearing more perspectives!

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@Charger78 If I were to go to a school such as Andover, Choate, or Hotchkiss, what do you think the experience would be like, as someone coming from a state such as Colorado? Colorado is very different from NE; the kids are different, social dynamics are different, and it is WAY more relaxed. Do you think that I would have a difficult time fitting in, or are the schools so diverse that they don’t even have a “NE vibe”?

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^^^ Don’t know you, but suspect that you would find ways to “fit in”, given your perceptiveness, already, about the differences. BTW, those resonate with me, as somebody who started high school in Baltimore and ended in New Mexico (and I made a decent transition, back in the day). I have not spent time on the campuses of those three schools so take my comments with a grain of salt. However, I do argue that there is a NE vibe at most of these schools, and that the “diversity” doesn’t really override the local environment, it only makes a richer experience possible. I wouldn’t underestimate the possibility that you, as a Coloradan, would notice a social stratification that might or might not present challenges.

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Nico, I have been attending a Prep school in the NE since 6th Grade with kids mostly from the NE and some from other parts of the USA or International (mostly Asia). I can say it is easier for the NE kids for the obvious reasons (closer to home, see your parents more, more in common with the other students, etc) but that the non-NE kids mostly get along quite well. The best trait to have as a boarding kid is to not try too hard to be social, do not show off or be annoying (we all see each other way too much to be annoying). Over the last 3 years there have been a number of kids that went home and did not make it because they found the whole experience too overwhelming for them. I say, and I think this applies to BS too, just be yourself and don’t be neurotic as you will make everyone around you feel crazy too. Remember boarding is not just about school it is also about being a kid, engaging with other kids and teachers and learning to grow up. If you stress too much you will be unhappy and you will also make everyone else around you unhappy too.
As they say, it is all good, just chill.

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@ Nico: My friends kids went to Holderness-- they have a big ski culture at that school- went there to compete - they went there from Colorado. Check out the posts because those schools get ski competitors from the Rockies and you can read about their impressions of moving out East. They liked it – they stayed East for college.

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Who can chime in on the culture at the schools below? What makes them different? What does it feel like to be a student there? What kind of kids fits in best?

@stargirl3, @cameo43 , @cababe97 , @gardenstategal

GROTON:

BERKSHIRE: (Weigh in, @cababe97 )

WESTOVER:

GEORGE SCHOOL:

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Berkshire: I am a current student there now. Berkshire is a very supportive and diverse community. 38 countries are represented and there are 40% students of color. I have found people and students at the school to be very kind and welcoming and I adjusted as a new student very easily. Berkshire students are very considerate and accepting of each other’s backgrounds and religions and we all look out for each other. It’s a very close knit community being that there are only 400 students, which I love. Berkshire is probably best known for its Math and Science program and Boys Varsity soccer team, but the school has loads more to offer:) Berkshire has a very developed math and science department and they have a unique program called AMSR (advanced math Schoenberg research program) that students can apply to do where they work on graduate level concepts and the submit their work to academic journals and competitions like INTEL. Berkshire is also well known for the boys varsity soccer program. They have been the New England Class A champions 4 years in a row. Berkshire has many newly renovated buildings including the Bellas Dixon Math and Science Center, the Geir Library, the brand new (opened in November) Soffer Athletic Center and Squash Wing, the Allen Theater, and the new art wing (all of which were renovated in the past 6 years). A kid that would be best fitted for Berkshire is somebody who is accepting of others, open minded, wants a smaller school, and wants a well rounded program. Many schools have a large emphasis on athletics, academics, or the arts and that was something I didn’t want in a boarding school. I have found that at Berkshire, you can try anything you want. Soccer players also paint and act and dancers play basketball :slight_smile: Everybody tries different things and it is a very well rounded program. If any body is thinking of applying to Berkshire or already did and wants to know more, feel free to pm me and I would be more than happy to answer any questions. Best of luck to everybody!!!

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@Nico.campbell… We are from Colorado and my daughter has been at Loomis since sophomore year. Feel free to PM me on questions regarding culture. She loves it there. Congrats on your acceptances!

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George: Very diverse (in every way), upbeat, friendly, open, casual, and inclusive student body where everyone works to be his/her best self rather than to out-do others. Very collaborative and supportive. Lots of emphasis on community and on one’s role in that. Very down to earth, genuine, caring (and funny!) kids and faculty. Not a pretentious place! Terrific service learning program. While the academics are great and students are extremely well prepared for college, I think George does an even better job of preparing kids for life.

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Does anyone know what Deerfield or Groton are like?? thanks.

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Not from a student perspective but I’m happy to have my daughter contact you in a PM regarding Deerfield. She’s a first year student.

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What about some hidden gems? Like Kimball Union, Cheshire, Lake Forest, or Cranbrook?

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Since it seems that I will not be able to attend re-visists (or in my case my first visits)… I would love to hear a parent or student’s perspective of MX…

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My kids were very fortunate. They went to JBS and through family, school, sports and other activities had access to many ( if not all SSs- it feels like ) at some point . They also stayed in close contact with JBS friends who graduated before them and had many older cousins who were able to answer questions and weigh in about things like culture. I also talked with a few former JBS parents and picked some sibling/ in law brains, but at the end of the day ( God, I hate it when people say that ), it was all very subjective and ultimately we relied on our gut- even with all this "insider access ".

But I will say this, too- my kids had very definite ideas about where to apply based on their interactions with SS kids/coaches through sports. They also had a lot of exposure to kids from different schools at their boathouse during the summer. Based on their interaction and experiences with older SS rowers ( and coaches ) - they did eliminate schools out of the gate- and refused to even visit. Which oddly, I pushed back on sometimes…

I still remember suggesting a really wonderful school I thought would be perfect for K2. He didn’t agree with me at all :

There’s just too many jerks on that team for it to be a coincidence, Mom. Obviously, he didn’t apply to that particular school… ( which was a great school and I was really disappointed!! ) , but later the following year, I saw firsthand what he was talking about on the shoreline at a regatta. Tent placement was key and I was able to interact with parents and rowers from this school, too.

I thought to myself, Oh… I get it now. Yeah- good call! And, no- I’m not outing the school because that was just our personal/ snapshot opinion and it wouldn’t be fair. It’s still a very fine BS. Again, culture is very, very subjective and some critical observations a few years ago may or may not be relevant today. Anyway-

The point ( and sorry it took me this long to get to it ) is : Always pay attention to your gut and really open your eyes and ears on Revisit Days. Take off the rose colored glasses and don’t ignore any red flags that may pop up.

If you’re a parent and your kid raises a concern on the way home, or feels a bad vibe- don’t dismiss it or ignore it - even if it completely ruins your school buzz. They’re very smart and they may be on to something! Definitely- hear them out.

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Too many folks choose the brochure and the stats over the culture and the gut. This choice is as much about WHO your child will become after four years as it is about the grades and college admission. Everything is getting wired and habits are getting set. Traits like “team player, helping the other guy, doing the right thing when no one is looking, being accepting of others, taking care of the natural world…these are culture results.” Choose the school that gets these right and happiness will follow, along with that great education.

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You know I have to add more on the Mercersburg culture: Thoughtful, welcoming, notices and values all kinds of achievements (small and personal to worthy of wide attention) yet consciously values and models humility. Strong emphasis on hard work and perseverance. Generally happy students, most of whom genuinely enjoy learning. Yes, less “diverse” than some other schools, not from want of trying but due to its location.

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^ Man, this stuff is so good, it should be put together in a book form.

Pearls of Wisdom: Insider’s Guide to Boarding School Success. (Sorry, I’m the queen of cheesy…) but seriously, it would be great to have it all easily accessible to people as they mull over those issues.