@booksandfries I’m a current fifth former (11th grader) at Groton. Definitely PM me with specific questions, but here’s what I have to say for our culture.
The dining hall staff know me (and my dietary restrictions) by name. They’ll leave a cupcake without frosting for me and the other vegan.
I know all the teachers. They all know me. The teachers meet at the end of every term to discuss every student.
When I go upstairs to the dining hall, I’m not worried about whether my friends are there; I’m happy to sit with new people.
The headmaster is very much a part of student life with Parlor and roll call announcements.
@HMom16 finally some truth in this thread! Thank you for taking the first brick out of this dam! And I am glad to hear that, despite some bumps in the road, your daughter came through it OK.
Talking about the “dark side” of boarding schools in general terms, i.e. not name the names, has been done, thoroughly. I think there was a whole thread devoted to it. When it comes to specific schools, however, posters associated with them are mostly “raving”, which is understandable - well for many reasons.
True/ classic Photodad story: At a Parents Weekend not so very long ago… my husband and I arrived late ( as always ) and the parking situation was akin to Woodstock . We did several loops ( nixing possible harmless but ultimately obnoxious parking scenarios ) when we happened upon a beautiful brand new Range Rover taking up several prime parking spaces. Photodad stops the car.
My husband: Find me a pen.
Me: Why???
My husband: Never mind- I have one.
Me: What are you going to do?
The next thing I know he’s scribbling something on the back of his business card and then throws the car into park and hops out. I see him placing the card underneath the Range Rover front wiper so it can’t be missed.
Me: OMG. What did you write on your business card??
My husband: It’s all about you.
I don’t know why but I felt like sharing that story on this thread today. Forgive me… it still makes me laugh.
@PhotographerMom not to say it isn’t in poor taste, but if you have ever come back to your beautiful, brand new 100K or 75K or 50K or however-many-K-makes-it-important-to-you beautiful, brand new vehicle and found a door ding courtesy of some schlep who has no respect for other people’s property, you would know why people do things like this. I keep a pad and pen in my car for situations like this.
Who cares how much either car actually cost? You can’t tell from looking at a car how much the owner had to sacrifice to get it. The car that cost the equivalent of a rounding error on one person’s bank account may have represented going without meals (or rent) to another.
The cost of the car has absolutely nothing to do with it- although it was very pretty. Common courtesy, however, is the point . Plus, one would think that parking at a boarding school would be less risky than say… parking a really nice car in a packed Costco parking lot during the the holiday season.
Agreed! We live in a parking-starved city. My husband is an extraordinarily calm and mellow man, unless we are looking for parking and someone is hogging two spots!!!
But I am not encouraging posters to “name the name” however. Occasionally there can be a poster who criticizes the school their kids or they attended/are attending. Typically Such a poster would develop a following of people who are not associated with the said school and at the same time they upset people who are associated with it. Strange as it sounds, that kind of criticism almost always resonates with the crowd that has no experience with that school, and it also reasonably displeases others who do because people have different experience, perceptions with the same school, and frankly different outlooks (for example, “half full” or “half empty” approach). Those posters and posts may turn out most controversial. What I am saying is that it’s not surprising that rarely posters would post negative comments about their own school by name, and “by name” seems to be the game of this thread. @Korab1
@panpacific thanks for your experience with this. I get what you are saying. But if people are afraid to be honest, and every school as painted as a utopian paradise, then what is the utility of a thread like this? People come here looking for affirmation of their choices, and that’s all they find.
I have posted several YYMV comments about Choate over the years. My take-away from this board is that for every positive comment about a school in these forums there is ALWAYS someone who will post the exact opposite, so what’s the point? The bottom line is that no school is perfect, and only you and your child can make these decisions based on what’s important to you and your gut feel from your own experiences with the admit schools, scant as those experiences may be before A10. NOTHING an Internet stranger has to say should be worth more than a quick read.
If you have choices, remember, those schools chose you/your child on the first pass. They saw something compelling in your student, and the offer of admission indicates they know that your child can benefit from their programs and will contribute to their communities. You cannot go wrong with any choice you have. These threads about school A vs. school B and tell-me-about-the-culture are just ways to split almost invisible hairs.
You all have fine choices. Don’t stress about them. Pick the one you like the best and enjoy the ride.
@CaliMex: I’ve been playing this game on this board for the past six years. But, for the newbies:
Note that Choate was our son’s choice. Both DH and I would have chosen NMH, so I preferred a remote location, the block schedule, the working farm, and the food. Those are the things I wish were different about Choate, but Choate is a different animal so not fair comparisons.
As far as standouts, the campus is gorgeous, the facilities are outstanding, and one of the in-town pubs serves the best bar nachos in the world along with a mean martini.
Both schools would have served our son equally well. He just “liked” Choate better.
. Plus, one would think that parking at a boarding school would be less risky than say… parking a really nice car in a packed Costco parking lot during the the holiday season.