Boarding school mental health crisis

This conversation seems to be going sideways….no one reported a sexual assault incident. There was not a sexual assault incident. There was a rumor started (and I have no idea if the student who was expelled started that rumor or perpetuated it ) about Jack raping another student. A rumor. Not a report.

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Ah, that is important. The school was unable to identify the source of the rumor or did not try to do so?

Im not sure how the school dealt with that aspect……but having attended high school myself many many many years ago, I imagine it would be quite difficult to find the source of most rumors circulating around any high school campus.

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I really don’t know how schools should address vile rumors-discussing it can highlight the issue; I wonder if the victim would have agreed to a public discussion. Which rumors would one discuss, given the number of them? Does the administration not discussing some rumors lead to the inference that those must be true, if others are denied? Did the other party to the relationship deny the rumors, at least, and help Jack, or stay silent? What a mess.

In our day school, a rumor was started that another middle school student was pregnant. She was not, but the parents were very clear that they did not want the school or the teachers publicly saying “Sue is not pregnant” as they thought that would just fuel the rumor. Some general school comments about being kind to others and not believing rumors were ineffective. It eventually died down; I remain unsure how schools should address this since obviously the perpetrator always denies being the one to start it.

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I think what I’m understanding from your posts is that a formal report was not filed. However, the school did an investigation. This investigation was specifically mentioned by George Stephanopoulos in the ABC interview. It’s a very important point. It appears that the school handled it as they would handle a formal report. Another poster cited universities that have the same reporting policy and described it in detail.

Schools certainly don’t need to enter the fray of student gossip, but when they do investigations, a statement should be issued at the conclusion of the investigation. And if students persist in spreading rumors online or otherwise, the school should intervene with those students. Students who are dismissed should not be permitted to return to campus dorms. It is unrealistic for a student to be investigated, knowingly or unknowningly, based on a rumor and for that student to simply be expected to handle all of that pressure while attending school as Jack was.

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Did Jack or his parents consent to a disclosure of the results of the investigation? Did the girl who had the consenual act? I am not sure if the school even offered to do so, and it should have, but I think one would need a lot of consent before doing so.

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Look at the statements that law enforcement releases to the media in similar circumstances. They are bound by the same privacy considerations and probably more than private institutions, which are far less regulated.

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What is so concerning in this specific case is that the boy and his parents were all in communication with the school as soon as the events began unfolding. According to NYT, both the parents and the school attempted (unsuccessfully) to have false allegations/rumors taken down from the social app that is mentioned. At that point, L’Ville must have realized that they were in a deep moral crevasse.
The part that sticks with me - and which rings many bells from me own time in BS - is when the expelled student was given the opportunity for what sounds like a “victory lap” around the school. Hugs, photos, long drawn-out goodbyes. That is precisely the “old boys” culture (I realize it’s an imperfect moniker) that is both dangerous and difficult to pin down.
I am certain that many adults at L’Ville are distraught about their roles in allowing the events of that particular evening to unspool as they did. Those who permitted the expelled student to remain on campus for his farewell ceremony should be fired. Those who failed to realize how harmful it would have been for Jack to see that should be fired. Those who perpetuate a school culture where a vulnerable person, one whose own school has confirmed him to have been a victim of bullying, is disregarded in this scenario, should be fired.
The false gentility that these schools hide behind, the “good manners” etc, are a smoke screen. Students and parents will only get a strong message that change is afoot if they see people Lose. Their. Jobs. There may be a two-strike rule at most of these schools for the students, but for adults it must be one strike and out. (Although, going by my experience, the fired admins will probably all land at other slightly lower tier schools, right?)

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Or perhaps a better solution would be disciplining all of the students themselves who actually caused the bullying, and who likely do not care about the teachers/ administrators fates either. Expel 10 kids, and the younger classes will notice. Fire some teachers? The kids who do the bullying do not care and will continue to bully.

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Yes, there was an investigation. Where the conversation went sideways was when there was chatter about disciplinary action for a student who makes a false SA claim. No such claim was reported.

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I think both need to happen. But at the end of the day, it is the adults in the room that had the duty of care. Adults decide whether and where to send their kids to BS. Adults write the checks.

The students in this case were pretty darn close to being adults, are old enough to be charged as adults in most states, and are accountable for their behavior. They chose to be mean.
It is likely the staff were negligent but not that they decided to be cruel. The students decided to be cruel.

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The articles point out a specific error on the part of the school in not communicating the results of their investigation to the parents nor to the student body. Would Jack and his parents need to have given consent to receive that information or for that I formation to have been shared ? That’s unclear to me. What is clear is that the school was trying to minimize any collateral damage from the whole terrible situation, and in doing so they clearly failed in their duty of care to this one particular student. Their admission of guilt on this is pretty clearly stated from what I have read.
Where is the board of L’Ville on all of this? They must realize how tarnished the school’s reputation is at this moment - something which will negatively impact all of the students who are currently there (who have already undoubtedly suffered because of this event and the prior suicidal last year).
The “normal” parents, the ones who are grateful to have their kids in a prestigious BS and don’t want to compromise that, and who weren’t to the manor born, will not have the power to effect much change here (checkbooks not hefty enough) nor will they have the appetite as they are outside the power system.
Let’s hope there are some heavy hitters with deep pockets on their board who are furious about what happened here.

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Or perhaps the problematic students, who are graduating seniors now, might have to inform their colleges of their roles?

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Yes I’d say it goes without saying that any students involved in bullying in this case should be expelled and that would indeed be the best way to send a message to other students. That doesn’t take the ultimate responsibility away from the admin, though. Whether intentionally cruel or not, the decisions made by adults in this scenario are - by the school’s own admission - at least partially responsible for what happened to Jack.

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While I agree, it seems all the adults, including his own parents, seriously underestimated the distress he was in as a result of all this. That goes back, alas, to my first point-schools will not want to underestimate the distress and chance of suicide again, even if assured by parents/therapists to the contrary.

I found this statement from Mr Reid interesting
“One of the things we’ve learned is that in many states, there are established anti-bullying rules. They don’t usually govern private institutions, charter schools, parochial schools. That’s something we’d like to change across the board,”
I am curious if these “anti-bullying rules” have been effective and if so, what can be done to make them universal to all public, private, etc. schools.

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The report indicates that the events on the night that the expelled boy ran around saying goodbye were a major factor in triggering Jack’s decision.
In a case like this of course everyone will look back and say “we didn’t know how bad it was” but the explicit admission of culpability and the detailing of events - specifically on the night in question - in this case is extraordinary.
Eta: also, we do not know what was in the contents of the Google doc that Jack left for his parents but something tells me there were plenty of “receipts” in there that must have played a role in how this case and ensuing settlement has played out.

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Tragically, there was another Lawrenceville student who committed suicide off campus just a few months ago.