This is all so heartbreaking. I would encourage parents to add the 988 crisis number (works for both call/text) to all phones in the family.
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Thank you for clarifying. This is not directly any business of mine, but as a parent with a child in prep school and another heading off to college next year, I am deeply concerned about the policies that are in place regarding these sorts of incidents. Jack’s family’s pain is all of our pain.
I know that some private schools (boarding and colleges) have internal investigation policies that are based on nothing more than a rumor, but I had no knowledge until today that students could make up rumors accusing anyone of a crime and that such rumors could trigger an internal investigation that could enflame rivalries amongst students to this degree.
In my personal opinion, if a rumor becomes the basis for an internal investigation, it becomes a claim. The claim/rumor that was outlined in the news report referred to SA allegations. I appreciate the information that the source of the rumor never filed an actual formal complaint.
We should all tell our kids that when they feel despondent, don’t go online. Text/call the 988 number and call/text your family. Do both.
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I can speak to them in public schools as I used to teach in public school.
They have been very effective where strong administrators set a tone of accountability that is upheld by the faculty. In the school where I saw this work best, we had a strong gang presence in our school’s neighborhood. It was a middle school and some of our students were in gangs or related to active gang members. We needed these policies to keep our students from killing each other and harming us. It wasn’t perfect but it worked far better than the policies I have heard about in this story.
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Expect very different responses in college. The students are adults; the standards are different; and students can avail themselves of the legal process to get temporary restraining orders when warranted.
Fortunately, most students have matured by that point.
What I cannot get over is, “Where were the house parents of Dickinson house” in all this?!? It sounds like Jack was allowed to be bullied by his housemates with impunity. This is boarding school so he was bullied with no escape: So toxic and he had to live there. Lawrenceville couldn’t move the bullies elsewhere?!?
Unbelievable that the bully who was expelled for another violation had what amounted to a “going away party” in Dickinson house the day Jack died. Where were the house parents? The school allowed this…
Jack’s adviser, the deans …. Lawrenceville ALL failed him.
We are looking at senior boarding schools coming from a junior boarding school for 10th grade. Lawrenceville won’t be on our list.
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OR… because there is a spotlight on them, Lawrenceville is the one school that has it together? I might not dismiss it out of hand just yet.
We went back for a revisit day in March and I personally was blown away… totally different than the other schools we saw. VERY hands on… so much so that DS thought it felt like it would be too much. Obviously, all the adult attention stemmed from the recent tragedy. They are trying to fix it and it is evident. With that said, DS did not choose L’ville.
It might be interesting to apply, and hear their pitch alongside other school’s pitches, just to see what the differences might be. Just a thought… Good luck!
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All 8 of the high schools in our public school district had at least one suicide last year. Sadly, it is not that rare.
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We agree - We feel like/and hope that this will only make lville stronger - impressed with things they have put in place this year - with all eyes on them they have a chance to be a leader in the space and make some good come from this tragedy.
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Personnel trumps policy. Unless Lawrenceville makes major administrative changes and expels (or doesn’t allow back after this year) the kids who were involved (for example, the “secret Santa” who gave the deceased a rape whistle for Christmas), then it isn’t taking this tragedy seriously enough.
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@DrPrimo, which BS did your DS choose in the end?
Choate!
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The secondary school adviser released the list of schools we should consider for our son and of course Lawrenceville is on the list.
Lawrenceville wasn’t on our list bc I think it will be a poor fit. Dulcejr was bullied at his junior boarding school this year but as soon as he reported it by writing a letter to the Dean of Students describing the incidents, the bullying stopped that day…. Which is how I would expect bullying to be handled: Immediately and permanently. Dulcejr and the bully were permanently separated never to have any interaction again. This is easier since they are in different grades.
Dulcejr had previously attended a very large public charter for elementary school and never been bullied so we were very pleasantly surprised at how our current junior boarding school handled bullying.
Not sure if we will consider Lawrenceville. It’s 15k+ more tuition wise than comparable schools too nevermind their bullying policy and how they dealt with bullying in this instance is egregious and incompetent. If this was any other school/business, people would be fired and replaced instead of just creating more positions and committees.
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Not boarding school but another tragedy: another Harvard Westlake student committed suicide a few days ago by jumping off an overpass on the I5. A rising junior. That makes 4 since February. A sophomore girl, a senior in late April, the girl’s dad, and now this. I’m so glad DS pulled his app from there… it’s just so tragic.