<p>There is a whole thread on Parents Cafe on this book.</p>
<p>I learned enuff to stay away from that turf thou wanna know what my enemy (the certain tiger mother no doubt ) has to say… maybe go peek sneak but bears’ muzzle tight so no more timeout…</p>
<p>I have to read that book, I head a lot people talk about it though.
redbug: Can you post the thread here? it will be interesting to read.</p>
<p>loveblue is clearly not the Tiger Mother, since she is the one always cautioning us to be nicer to our children. That Amy Chau sounds like a piece of work.</p>
<p>Zip it shut, Bears, lol. We don’t want to lose you for another month! Yes, Loveblue doesn’t seem like a dragon-mom to me. I’m always feeling like I’m on the verge of wringing one kid or another’s neck. Aspie girl says I grumble like a grizzly bear, lol.</p>
<p>G(rizzly) mom
then you are my BFF until we shall meet by the stream full of salmon with our cub (your cubs) in tow.</p>
<p>Search online about this book and also some Chinese forum… Kind of know what tiger mom is. Maybe we all are a kind of “tiger” mom.
I asked D what does she think of me? reply: Yes, you are a tiger mom :–) Sad
She mention I did force her to practice piano or violin half hour a day which is true, but that did help her a lot to appreciate music. </p>
<p>I am not very strict, she can sleep in her friends home, shopping/watch movie with them… D is shy and I can not be too strict on a shy, weak girl. </p>
<p>Feel like each one of us know we want our child happy and this is the bottom line. Help them build confident, find their strength and weakness … Sorry all the stuff is boring and we all know and use our wisdom to raise our child.</p>
<p>I feel that the book, and/or it’s promotion, and/or it’s excerpts in the Wall Street Journal, are sensationalized deliberately to increase sales more than anything else. If the WSJ drums up the drama and gets shocked “American” parents to read and comment on the article, good for their sales. If the poor author has been taken out of context and misrepresented, well, it happens to the best of us and she gets increased exposure and sales too, so how can she complain?</p>
<p>It reminds me of cheap media tricks to incite war between stay-at-home moms and working moms, between Palinistas and Obamaites, New York vs. California, etc., etc. Will all this chatter actually illuminate the issues or just turn us all into a bunch of hens squawking our outrage until no one can hear anything? I think the latter. I’ll not read the book or spend many minutes thinking about it either. I’ll wait until one of the daughters writes a sequel… maybe… </p>
<p>“use our wisdom”, as loveblue said - that is the better and quieter approach.</p>
<p>oh yes mommy wars.
today, promotion continued at WNYC, the book was sited or the author talked in three defefrent shows.
one of them there were debate afterward with the guest:writer of the “mommy war” she said " I don’t want to be her daughter, I don’t want to be her (the author) you should ask, do I want to be my daughter? "
hummm… I want to be my son (which I got) but I don’t wan to be my daughter. I am an awful role model. what is this make me as a parent?
anyhow, I am gonna read the book when I get to it, and I think I can fill the void, for I bet I know her biggest secret… no telling.
she sounded OK at radio. upbeat, making it fun, no biggie
I hope her kids are comply- ing willingly, not forcibly. maybe already adults? then they might have made deal to split the profit pot. </p>
<p>Ok back to the bear skins… unwillingly but forcibly.</p>
<p>there she is again, as I type, NPR take away show.
keep announcing Amy Chua will be in soon, later in hour, since the show started, as if it is THE biggest attraction!! must be!! could be the very end, like best picture/actress of Oscar.</p>
<p>Loveblue - here is thread</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1064027-battle-hymn-tiger-mother-new-book-about-chinese-parenting.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1064027-battle-hymn-tiger-mother-new-book-about-chinese-parenting.html</a></p>
<p>OK it was just a short phone contribution from New Heaven where she teaches (I wonder which school? hummmmmmmmmmm!? )
she is now in the defense mode.
It seems everyone flipped out just reading excerpt of WSJ
even my kid’s chinese math teacher printed out and given copy to the class, which he brought to his anthropology teacher who read it and said, " humm… maybe I should build seminar out of this" all in half- a day. this is how anything spread like wild fire without context = eh, reading actual book?
this reminds me of the time " the nurture assumption " was published.
<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Assumption-Children-Revised-Updated/dp/1439101655/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1295018376&sr=1-1[/url]”>http://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Assumption-Children-Revised-Updated/dp/1439101655/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1295018376&sr=1-1</a>
It started out with Malcolm Gladwell’s rather nice NYer interview with the author. then cheapo gossip papers / press picked it up dubbing as
"parents do not matter! friends do! "
which, is totally out of context if you read er… some 500 hundred pages of tiny no frill font no pictures research paper-sh book. I bulldozed thru because I was angry at first, then there were aha! moments as I understand culture more, how history of parenting style changed over the decades in western culture and why, let alone how thing are done in other parts of the world flora fauna included (the author is this brain grandma covers all weird stuff from chicklit to detective novel. I had to read dozen or so more books she mentioned to get them half way) and the book became sort of my keystone or, tape measure of my thought ( spying/ bisecting) process up to my kid’s pre teen years. - his hormone kicked in, nothing mattered anymore but daily survival, physically, monetary, emotionally, last thing I needed was generic “parenting book”
now what, 15 or so years since first published, her “theory” is somewhat become norm and in the way respected in academia and between common advice givers.
anyways</p>
<p>I was wondering if the “tiger mother” book was published on Jan 11th, how come already reviews on Amazon? CC parents’ thread here? ( so far I have fought against urge to read it, no confidence on my muzzle efficiency)</p>
<p>what prof. Chura said today
please read the WHOLE book, it is about me, more like a memoir. I was making fun of myself. I am not saying my way is good or anything that people saying.
I adore my parents, we were/are very close, happy. so is I and my Ds, we now joke about how they were raised.
I backed off when younger D rebeled when 13. so it is different from some people who grew up with “issues”</p>
<p>so let’s do the justice folks, read the whole book before judge, or no read and no judge. gawd, will be hard.</p>
<p>well…
I lied. I gotta judge already.
read halfway and not sure I can go on. it’s pathetic. it tells getting to top school or top job doesn’t make person grow or make them smarter in useful way…
she is a year of tiger, sort of same age group as I
of course there was a bit about her grandpa or uncle or some tortured by Japanese solder.
and what I guessed about her “issue” were proven true in mere second chapter.
there are family photos scattered about with already too big of margin in the empty pages.
her H is this tall, cute, full head of hair with her un-flobby shoulder bared wedding dress.
twenty or so years later, you can’t recognize him, but she stayed virtually unchanged. scary. </p>
<p>I just had to reply in parent turf. yep, just as I thought they are all in there.
wish me alive.</p>
<p>so
I lied. I was in B&N yesterday and, the wall full of 20%off stickered “tiger mom” books are gone!
could have been all sold out?
I checked with search station and there is none showing. It just could not happen, even here in the part of NYC where WSJ, NYT, WNYC rule.
I went to info desk with human in it, the human punch in the title and says, 68 copies are somewhere on the “special” table. more coming soon.
I found the " special" table near the check out area. they simply moved books from the wall to here with the sign states
" Read the book everyone is talking about! "
now I just had to and done with it in few hours.</p>
<p>Amy Chua is a riot. Gmom, switters, you will love her, maybe you too, G.
at the CCparents turf, most poster didn’t even read the book and basically bragging, well my kid got in HYSP without Chua method, my kids play instrument because they want to and love music, and correcting each others mistake in details, such as Bosnia is not part of USSR, Olympic team has regulations on this and that… and some who read the whole book ( so says poster named pizzagirl, eek) seem failed to understand this is supposed to be a funny book.
Maybe it takes cynical bitter evil Asian American mother with certain tendency to understand her style. I am scared now that I have the same sense of humor as Amy Chua (minus hi bran power and skinny bit*h ness of course)</p>
<p>she is hilarious! over the top.
she had no “passion” for what she’d made to do by her Chinese parents but worked so very crazily hard and achieved and excelled everything she did not really care about, Harvard Law Review to Wall street job, except maybe writing epic novel about Chinese immigrants generation because Amy Tan and others beat her to it.
She writes about music her Ds are learning in details, how teachers tried to describe how it should be played, I liked those. I have no background in playing music besides government issued music classes at school. It was informative and profound, plain nice.
and the essay her D1 wrote about the piece she performed at Carnegie was very very nice. A+++ any college would let her in.
thou, it’s not THE Carnegie, just a small venue within the building, that she won first prize by sending in professionally (really) crafted CD recordings, without in-person audition. So it is not super duper but so-so big deal, maybe elite colleges would still let her in even thou there are 10.000 more same hi stats and same EC kids are in the pool. Chua kids (with H’s family name? maybe) are now celebrities, like, Dionne quints or something.
Let’s hope mom didn’t time the publication to D1’s apps.
here are something she says in the book (seriously)
- I went to law school mainly because I didn’t want to go to medical school.
- (about prestigious pre college audition) " It will be your decision in the end, Lulu ( her D2) " I lied.
-hey. I said exactly the same thing and made my kid go anyway. - about her method " It’s a Chinese immigrant thing." Someone pointed out
" But you are not Chinese immigrant " (Amy is a second gen)<br>
“Good point” I conceded. " No wonder it didn’t work" ( with D2 who rebelled) - Most people stink at thing they love.
- (how Western style parents would say) “As much as it kill me I just have to get my kids make their choices and follow their hearts. It’s the hardest thing in the world, but I’m doing my best to hold back” then they get to have a glass of wine and go to yoga class, whereas I have to stay home and scream and have my kids hate me.</p>
<p>I personally, can’t top this bit</p>
<ol>
<li>( part about choice of the instrument for her younger D, her in-law suggested Gaemon. she goes to explain Westerners’ tendency to " fetishizing the exotic" example of this are Debussy, Rousseau, Gauguin then go on to say…)
A particularly disgusting variation of this phenomenon can be found in modern day California.
Men with Yellow fever, who date only Asian woman sometimes dozen in a row - no matter how ugly or which kind of Asian.
For the record, Jed (her H) did not date any Asian women before me.</li>
</ol>
<p>how does she know? he didn’t “date” does not mean he had nothing to do with them, eh, “before me” does not mean ever " after me" thou he must have learned the lesson and be careful second time around.</p>
<p>Finally! A review from someone who read the book! Thanks BandD. I plan to put it on my Kindle and read on the bus. She sounds like my SIL who is jewish not asian…also a very demanding mother, almost tortures my adorable niece sometimes, but that is probably why the kid is so nice. However, my SIL also has good sense of humor and is self critical. From the excerpts, I must say it sounds like the author missed the point of sleep-overs! Of course they are bad for kids…they learn to be lazy, diss their parents in a group setting, eat bad food, and worse things…but did she not care that sleepovers are a wonderful alternative to babysitters?! Better even --they cost nothing and they allow parents to have the illusion of freedom…a whole night of privacy and a morning with only the two of us…!! Amy had to postpone this for over 18 years until the girls leave for college. My husband and I couldn’t have made it this far without sleepovers and extended stays with grandparents.</p>
<p>soooo fammom should I post in parents turf or will I get timeout?
so far no one “get” what I said in there, or they just don’t read anyways.</p>
<p>sleepover is funny. there is a bit about her D1 went after begged and begged, came home miserable.
she traveled a lot for her job, must have given some peace in the family while she is gone -but always left witty yet demanding notes to conduct practice session for D
I deems she’d cook and do some housework, but if living in the house with third floor ping pong room and able to host party with two pianos, hi-mighty judges (law people) as guests, some of us commoner’s problems are beyond her standard, such as baby sitter’s fee. You got to read how far Amy went to celebrate her D1’s “Carnegie” debut.
In this ($$$$) regard, I don’t know what to make of Amy Chua.
I don’t get moms who won’t sort and wash kids’ underpants herself. It must be my “immigrant thing”
then again, there is a bit Amy’s sister ( hi mighty Harvard-Stanford doctor) enjoy doing laundry and laying out clothes for her kids.
Maybe Amy never sleeps, do wash and clean her mansion with her own tiger paws. who knows.</p>
<p>it looks like i have to read this book, thanks bears</p>
<p>Bears, I looked this up just after the book came out and found that Amy’s elder daughter is indeed a senior this year at a private school in New Haven. Since then, much of the information on her and her sister online has disappeared. It’s not hard to imagine her mother planning the book release and all the publicity to help her daughter’s college chances. </p>
<p>Here’s another POV</p>
<p><a href=“Opinion | Amy Chua Is a Wimp - The New York Times”>Opinion | Amy Chua Is a Wimp - The New York Times;
<p>He’s got a point about group dynamics but I don’t believe that he really thinks she’s coddling her children, just that her emphasis is misplaced.</p>
<p>The NYT article is “Amy Chua is a Wimp” by David Brooks.</p>
<p>Proof of school year, in case you want it:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.hopkins.edu/podium/default.aspx?t=204&nid=669243[/url]”>http://www.hopkins.edu/podium/default.aspx?t=204&nid=669243</a></p>
<p>Thanks G
so you are not gonna read it?
What the NYT guy is saying make sense in different way. What worked for Amy is not going to work for her two Ds if we follow “the nurture assmption” theoly
it have to be the group to get it work. Amy had three siblings (one with disability) to team up with/against united Chinese-Chinese parental front.
She must have been wanted to fit in with American schoolmates and whatnot but once back home, there are many way to rewind and reflect in the household that mom did not even speak English at all (she said so on the radio, on the MLK day special, duh)
I had this co worker (tiger cub) just could not could not relate and did not give a s*** to anyone. She was efficient, smart, productive, but… just had to let go.
Oh the sigh of relief we all had.
I had issue with certain HS senior CCposter who was obsessed with parents threads. then somewhat crossed path with my kid in real life. she was a tiger cub. I now can see why she could not relate, because she had no need to relate. It is not in their system to notice nor wanting such things as, I don’t know what the right words - social grease? common sense of commoners? It is just not there. didn’t get equipped when it should have (cafeteria or playground) never encouraged nor warned by adults around because there were better things to do and they are always good at those “better” things. Straight A+s 4.00 GPAs 2400 SATs school orchestra con master, debate captain, quiz team ( I know those are group activities but done by same sort of kids=like Amy’s three siblings within the confinement of the community)
Elite colleges work in same way, if you chose to do so, you might never have to deal with kids who does not think or act like yourself. If such kids are happened to be your roommates, no reason to connect but avoid them and go to library or wear headphone.
So weird.
It is this wanting, needing to connect that make this country great, is what I thought.
More I get to know, more puzzled I become, because tiger parents and their parents wanted to be here. For very different reasons, I guess.
I hope Chua cran’d pay pile of property tax and won’t count on social security benefits.</p>