"Brag Sheet" strategies

Parents Forum
1

D’s high school Guidance Office has given the rising seniors college prep. homework for the summer, which includes completing parent and student brag sheets, as well as a teacher recommendation request forms asking similar questions about accomplishments the student is proud of which will be given to the teachers doing her rec letters. Despite being a seasoned parent with older children, my previous experience doesn’t help much since the forms are different from what her siblings filled out and there are more of them. Also, D2 is more complicated, and thus I am feeling unsure about how to approach answering some strangely worded questions as well as helping D respond differently to similar questions on 3 separate forms so as to maximize their utility in revealing her attributes.

I have the following concerns, but please comment in general so other parents with a variety of situations can benefit from our discussion.

  1. For the questions asking for 5 adjectives describing the student, what words should be avoided? For example, do you think "hard-working" and "diligent" and their synonyms are still seen as code for "grind' or "plodder" as opposed to implying natural intelligence and brilliant ease? Any advice as to the proportion of adjectives related to personality versus attitudes or ethos, and what aspects the parent is better suited to focus on than the kid herself? All 3 forms ask this, so what sorts of qualities should the teachers be reminded of concerning the student when filling out this question on their form?
  2. Here's an annoying new question: "What personality trait of yours makes you or other's happy?" (yes, the error is theirs). She's not particularly social or popular, so I suppose she should focus on what makes her happy about herself. However, the traits we think of (self-discipline and the like) seem better suited to the questions that address accomplishments, yet this appears to be getting at how well the students plays with "other's" (lol). She is not a difficult person, but I wouldn't say she relates very well to her peers. Thoughts about how to manage this question?
  3. What should and shouldn't be revealed in response to a question about any unusual personal circumstances that may have affected the student's academic performance or experience? If the child has disabilities but does not have an IEP or 504 and thus does not receive accommodations, should anything be revealed?
  4. Another question whose wording gives me pause: "What is the quality of the student's leadership and performance in extra-curricular activities?" High quality? Ugh.
  5. Lastly, how specific is it advisable to be for questions about the student's "goals for the future," and what time frame does the word "future" imply? The next 4 years, or more of a what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up future? D has clear career plans, but in a couple of information sessions adcoms have stated they really don't like hearing about how the student wants to be a doctor or lawyer or whatever, because they want to know what the person will contribute to campus as an undergrad. I understand that, but it sounds strange to me to answer that question with comments like D plans on participating in X college sport and joining Y club, and majoring in Z at college. But should we take a short-term approach to that question?

D attends a large high school, so I am pretty confident the staff will be content to rely heavily on what is written by us on the forms, so we want to do this well.

Thanks!

2

Like you, im not thrilled with some of these questions and Im not sure how this helps her plan for college. Number 5 I I would say is a good topic, and I think deals with career. She definitely should list her career goals, then work backward on what she needs to get there. Adcoms do want to here this. What I think they get frustrated with is vague unthought answers. I would not list clubs or ecs, those arent life goals, but I would add non career interests or hobbies to help give the rounded person picture.

IEP or not, you do not have to reveal disabilites to the college. If you think you have a compelling story about overcoming adversity, this may help. Otherwise I would omit them entirely.

3

In terms of adjectives, consider words which suggest perseverance, determination, grit (everyone’s word du jour). For a student to be a serious athletic recruit (if I’m remembering correctly), it takes tremendous sacrifice, dedication, time management etc., so consider ways to capture those traits.

Traits that make her/others happy – I’d read “others” broadly to include teachers, family, coaches etc., not just peers. What traits make her the athlete player coaches want, or the kind of student that teachers want? What makes her excel, in the classroom and outside? Doing well often makes us, and those around us engaged in the same purpose, happy. Consider whether there are traits that teachers might have mentioned in parent conferences or informal conversations with you about why they enjoy having her in class.

Quality of leadership: (vague question, yuck) – take the opportunity to describe formal and informal leadership, inside and outside school. If there aren’t formal positions, has she served as a mentor to younger students/athletes, worked behind the scenes in any community service roles etc?

Personal difficulties – unless there is a formal IEP on record, I’d probably stay silent about disability which she has not gotten accommodations for. This seems like the question which lets a student share the reason for grade blip because of death, divorce, disease etc.

Goals for future – since the purpose is to help teachers and guidance write better recommendations, focus on the nearer term, so they can tailor their remarks to what she brings to the college community. So, what does she want to study, do, on campus, what kind of community does she want to be part of? What is role of her sport in her college plans?

Again, my apologies if this is not the recruit.

Sounds like a yucky process, my sympathies. My just graduated recruit attended a large public with overworked guidance, so we’ve been there.

4

“Brag sheet” should be a sketch of a student. We also want it to reflect the best of the student. I’d say simpler is better.

5

When possible, give anecdotal support of these descriptive words. For example, if your student showed “initiative” by reaching out to local doctors and inviting them to speak at the high school as part of a medical club…provide details. Never assume the teachers writing the recs know these details.

6

I just happened to run into my younger son’s brag sheet the other day. He was one of those tricky kids with vague academic deficits. He’d had a 504 plan in middle school, but dropped it for high school. (His choice, but he had good reasons.) I don’t think it hurts at all to say you have a kid who may have LDs who is not using the accommodations and it may well help. Since the GC did not necessarily know about the 504 plan this was an opportunity for the GC to say it, instead of the student where it might sound like whining. So I did mention that he’d had a 504 plan because he wrote slowly, was slow at calculations and had trouble memorizing math formulas and foreign vocabulary. I said that his lack of extra time on tests probably contributed to some of his less good grades in chemistry and Latin. His math grades actually ended up being pretty respectable. It probably also didn’t hurt that his junior year math teacher wrote a recommendation saying he was actually one of the best mathematical thinkers in pre-calc even though he often ran out of time on math tests because he was figuring out formulas from scratch.

Academically I said my kid was curious and good at synthesizing knowledge. I gave examples of ways he learned things outside the curriculum (reading Scientific American and all the history background info in computer games) and said how he’d used that information in school and how it just made him fun to talk to because he was so well informed. I like the suggestion of using the word “grit” or talking about perseverance.

The personality trait I emphasized for my kid was empathy. He always was really good at putting himself in other people’s shoes.

One of the things that made my kids happy was to succeed at something that was hard, especially something they weren’t sure they could manage when they tackled it.

Quality of leadership? Blech what an icky way to put it. As ever remember being a leader can be providing a good example not just being the president of x and y.

7

For the record, it thrilled me that my kids’ school had similar forms and I really took the opportunity to fill them out thoughtfully and thoroughly, with as much detail as I could. I included some very personal stuff in my form and told her - in the form - to decide how much of that was appropriate to share in her rec.

I agree that you should add specific anecdotes supporting what ever you are saying. And if your D has career goals and interests, talk about them and how she came to have them.

In the end, your GC (hopefully) knows how to write a strong rec letter and will use the info you provide in the best way s/he can.

(edited to take out possible id’ing info, will msg you the whole post)

Adding: I think it’s fine to look at the questions as opportunities to say what you want to say rather than take them as questions you have to literally and exactly respond to. In looking at my form, that’s what I did.

8

One minor suggestion - do not use the word “grit.” Like “passion”, it has become a cliche.

9

My kids prepared brag sheets voluntarily – the school had no forms to work with. The sheets emphasized achievements and awards not values, attitudes, or ambitions. Attitudes and ambitions are best expressed by the students themselves in their essays. So if a student led something, or won something, those are achievements. So are grades and test scores. How hard they may have worked to gain those achievements is superfluous information.

However, if a student does not have demonstrated achievements in the form of awards, championships (whether team or individual), outstanding grades and tests, etc., then their efforts and priorities are worth mentioning.